Wankerbastards move to 2020. With moderatin' a plenty. We rage against flouncers, strops and teens, and of dryness we have big dreams. We want teacups not fuckups!

[Frouby]

Thread 9 for the tryers to be dryers. Join us if you want some support to reduce alcohol. All welcome for support, laughs and moderating.

Will tag a few peoples name I can spell as I am useless at clicky links.

@flossie
@madameforest
@longestlurkerever
@dionoysa
@waterandlemonjuice

Yes Dion mine are back tomorrow thank fook. Just hoovered and tidied ds bedroom, am having a massive cull on crap when he's back at school. He had far too much stuff he doesn't play with but in typical 6 year old hoarding fashion won't knowingly part with anything.

Have a 4 x 2 kallax in there and it's full to bursting as well as underbed storage which is also full to bursting. He has more nerf guns than a bloody armory, soft toys, imaginex sets, crafting shite, plus numerous other random bits of shite plus bastarding foot stabbing knee crunching fucking lego.

I was going to go ponies first thing and have a lovely couple of hours up there but it's tipping gales and heavy rain tomorrow so might miss it and get my house reorganised and properly fettled. I find it impossible to clean properly around everyone. It not too horrendous and I had a good fettle on mine and ds wardrobes and drawers the other day. But I have been doing it bit by bit and I like to go all way through everything properly.

I also need to do some actual work, clean the fridge, sort the food cupboard and do a proper food shop. Got a list from them all the other day of meals they like so am going to try and do a 3 week meal plan from it so we are not having the same thing on constant rotation. Plus try some new recipes.

All these plans and ambitions. The reality is I will get back from the school run and drink coffee staring at my phone savouring the peace and quiet for at least an hour 😂😂😂

Frouby, your domestic goddessery never fails to amaze me. I have arrived home from Brighton and collapsed in a heap surrounded by suitcases.

Dion- yes, long commute or boring job would be the compromises on offer. The pensions regulator is in Brighton but not many other civil service agencies as far as i know, though more and more are moving to Croydon which i suppose is not that far, though expensive on the train.

I have never really been tempted by spirits. Wine, beer and cider are my weaknesses. And coffee, which is more socially acceptable.

Back to work tomorrow. The kids are off an extra day but dh is in charge of them tomorrow while "working from home". Like Frouby, i am quite looking forward to a boring couple of months. Might book something for feb half term though. Thought mil was coming for half the week but now she isn't so i have no childcare and there's a special offer on youth hostels atm. Bit short of leave though.

I'd be happy with boring.

Frouby, you are the ultimate domestic goddess.

DC are back to school on Tues/Wed. I am counting the minutes.

Longest, I am glad you had a good trip.

Not AF. Sigh, sigh, sigh. I am currently blaming the school holidays, though have spent the afternoon chucking out Christmas wrapping paper, so that feels a bit like progress.

Am really not a goddess, domestic or otherwise but I can't stand clutter and mess. And with the animals and outdoorsy stuff it would get very messy very quickly if I didn't keep on top of it constantly. And can't wfh in a mess so it's financially beneficial to keep it clean. If I had an office to go to would happily live in squalor.

Made a big, fat sunday dinner. Thought we would be fed up of dinners now but everyone wanted one so I did. Was lush but am stuffed but still debating whether to have Christmas pudding with a pot of baileys cream that needs using or opening a tin of chocolates 😂😂😂. Happily dry though, didn't even think about it so that's good. So think I deserve a pudding of some description.

You definitely do Frouby. I made Eton mess for our pud tonight. I did a gammon joint with garlic roast potatoes and cauli cheese (inspired by the cauli cheese you didn’t have on your feast) and some other veg.
I like doing a proper Sunday dinner for when the boys get back from their dad’s on a Sunday. It’s the one night everyone is generally in and we sit at the table and eat together.
Doing ok on my dry Jan. I’ve got a lot of decluttering and cleaning done this weekend and I feel lighter for it mentally.
Just off for a bath and into my dressing gown then I’m going to light the woodburner and watch some Sunday night telly.
Back to school for DS2 tomorrow too.
I need to do my tax return this week then see where that leaves me financially for the next few months, before making some plans for the year.

Dionysa, I know, it was funny 😂

Frouby, lunch sounds lovely. Ikwym about stuff left over, I’ve eaten 4 mince pies today fgs and I’m not even that keen on them.

Have eaten crap today in fact: a bacon sandwich, cheese on toast with french mustard and chorizo, a packet of salt and vinegar crisps, some smoked cheese, some brie, a few tomatoes, an apple, some grapes, 4 mini mince pies, a salted caramel shortbread biscuit and 2 salted caramel chocolates. Urgh! BUT NO ALCOHOL! So that something.

Longest, I’m not tempted by spirits either, luckily.

Nc4 are you on day 5 already? Well done if so.

I’ve been reading most of today and now watching crappy tv. Will do a mindfulness ten minutes before sleep. It’ll be interesting to see if I sleep better tonight.

Weekend a write off. Right back to it. Have a good week all

Back to work today and managed to stay AF . I dont wanna worrrk!!!! 😭😪🤣 at least i start the week with a fresh head! Happy monday everyone!!

Morning all this beautiful Monday morning. Dh has gone to work, dd has gone to school and me and ds are setting off shortly.

Everyone got up OK but expecting tiredness tears and tantrums later on and that's just me 😂. Didn't sleep particularly well despite being AF cos I was up and down all night peeing.

Tumble dryer being an absolute knobber and smells like it's burning so will have washing draped all over the house until it can be mended. Sigh. Think it's probably heating element on it's way out, probably fed up of being worked to death after the holidays. So that's a good start. Plus I have a full basket of dry clothes that will need rewashing as they stink of smoke. Fml.

Determined to be dry tonight and tomorrow as well but may possibly have a gin on Wednesday. Off lager though, jeans are very snug this morning and it's mainly lagers fault 🙈.

Ha ha Frouby at ‘and that’s only me’

We are screwed if ever our tumble drier breaks, we use it so much. If you open the door of ours while it is running it stops working and only uses cold air which obviously does fuck all and doesn’t dry the clothes. Luckily the repair man showed dh how to fix it which involves pulling it out and pressing a button at the back and pushing it in again then it works again. Have to admit to going phoar at him last time he was doing it, haha like this book which I bought a friend for Christmas 😂 (it is quite heavy, I’m not that easily impressed!

Welldone improvements and never mind accountant, today is another day!

Longest, hope your first day back is ok. At least you have a clear head.

I slept from 11pm to 9am today but was up for a wee several times, like you Frouby. Have been productive though: paid school fees (urgh), sent off admission of speeding to police (urgh again, was doing 68 on the motorway but it was a variable speed bit 😰 with a 60mph limit, didn’t intentionally speed), have made dh’s packed lunch for the next two days and have been to Tesco and done a food shop for the week. Dd still has a friend here so I’ll make them some lunch in a bit. I think they had crisps for breakfast, oops. Ds is working on an essay due in tomorrow so I’m happy about that. Feel headachy but havent drunk enough water so that’s probably it.

Day 2 AF and I won’t drink today. Have already claimed my teacup ☕️ 🙂

I’m crawling back in after failing miserably at being anywhere near AF at the end of last year! I’ve been lurking in the background though and keeping an eye on you all.

I thought about doing Dry Jan but didn’t want to set myself up for failure yet again so my plan is to really try and crack being AF Monday to Thursday. I’ve tried before but this time feels different. I know I need to tackle my alcohol consumption - I’ve drunk every night since well before Xmas. I did have blood tests, including liver function, about a month ago which all came back normal. Problem is that was like giving me a green light to drink!

I still haven’t found a good AF alternative. All AF wine tastes shit and Becks Blue is ok but a bit tasteless and I don’t like drinking tea or coffee in the evenings. Has anyone tried Three Spirit? Eye-wateringly expensive but if it helps me stay off the sauce then it’s worth it.

Anyway, good luck to everyone in sticking to your goals. I hope I can and I will try to support you all as much as possible.

Csws, welcome back! Good about the liver test! You know we don’t judge on this thread...

Welcome back canshop. No judging here. It's all positive vibes.

Also been quite productive. Managed to get tumble dryer booked in for today. Was knobber engineer that always come from warranty place who mansplained everything to me. Apparently it was fluff in the condenser unit causing the smell. Told him I clean it regularly and only did it a few days ago but he adamant its that. I said I think it's heating element on it's way out as it's running hotter than usual and he mansplained a bit more. Knobber. So ha e it on again as he assures me it's perfectly safe blah blah fucking blah. But told him if heating element does go within the next few days or it catches fire I will be very fucking dischuffed.

Also turned leftover roast chicken into a yummy chicken soup, tidied all food cupboards out, sorted shoe cupboard out, tidied downstairs, did some invoicing, did some more washing and currently got tomato puttanesca simmering for me and the dcs. Dh won't eat tomato pasta so he can have some shitty carbonara sauce from Tescos.

Thanks waterandlemonjuice and Frouby.

I’m panicking about my plan already as I’ve been browsing the other alcohol support threads on MN and loads of people say that giving up is easier than moderating/cutting down. Please tell me there’s hope for finding a way forward that doesn’t mean giving up entirely?

Csws, IKR? As the young people say!

Well, for me, I find being AF for a while or bits of time ok, once I get into it. In some ways it IS easier than moderating as there’s nothing to think about: you just don’t drink. I get the sentiment of being tired of thinking about drinking (I think there’s a blog and book with this title). I don’t think I want to be AF entirely for ever though. If I can get to just drinking on Friday and Saturday most of the time I’ll be happy. So I think I’d like to change my ratio next year to around 280-300 days AF

Just looked it up, there are 52 Fridays and Saturdays in 2020 so actually I’d like to get to 104 max which means 262 days AF - didn’t know but 2020 is a leap year.

Hmm

Another fail from me.

Welcome back, canshop!

The mention of school fees is enough to drive me to even more drink, Water.

NC4, are you now on Day 6?? How TAF, as the Young would say???

Laughed at 'fucking dischuffed', Frouby.

Nothing useful to add, as I am wallowing in gin and self pity.

Thanks waterandlemonjuice. I guess I’ve just got to find my own way of cutting down rather than placing too much emphasis on what works for others - we are all v different. Weekend only drinking is my ultimate goal.

I'm dry again. Day 2 in the bag. Diet not going brilliant though. Lovely homemade chicken soup for lunch with grated cheese on top, picked at kids bread rolls with their pasta, had half a dozen Celebrations with a coffee, then a big, fuck off bowl of tomato pasta with loads of olives in it and another breadroll then an apple with more fucking cheese. So am still not thin, but I am at least sober.

I think being permanently dry would be very, very hard going. I am going to seriously try for 5 days dry this week. If I can maybe, just maybe get to Wednesday without a drink I might push through and try to get to friday.

If I can I will be very pleased. Shocked to shit but pleased.

I struggled to get going today as was also up weeing in the night. I'm not convinced this sobriety's all it's cracked up to be. I'm supposed to be refreshed and invigorated. My arse.

My tumble dryer is still going strong in its 19th year. They don't make em like that anymore. It's been more loyal to me than either of my husbands. I'll have to hold a little funeral when it does eventually give up the ghost 👻

I had a productive day once I got cracking. I seem to be seeing more clearly with my work and have set myself some goals for the year. Also paid my tax bill which was a pleasant surprise as I'd overpaid the previous year.

I'm now browsing Ercol armchairs. I really want one. I've got a corner by the fire just crying out for one.

Day flipping six here. Bravely soldiered through spin and hated every minute but hoping to be rewarded with a decent night's kip. I found the lavender/weed pillow spray while I was cleaning my room so I might give that a go. I'll either get a blissful nights sleep or toss and turn with paranoia.

I find long stretches of AF hard though because they exclude sociable drinking which i like. I am aiming for mindful drinking i think. That said I have had a shit day and am powerless to resist dh's suggestion of wine tonight. Work wasn't so bad but dh is ill again and couldn't look after the kids like he promised, and then they were on terrible form with the bickering and whinging. Just feel a bit ground down. Am hoping routine will help but they were knackered at the end of term too. Think world affairs are not helping my general outlook either.

Actually wrote that post a couple of hours ago and it failed to post. Vaguely comforted that some of you obviously feel a bit the same, though sorry too, and super impressed with those of you who have stuck with AF anyway. I am not. Shared a bottle with dh because neither of is could quite bring ourselves to give a shit at that particular moment, but am now on the peppermint tea.

Good luck with weed pillow spray nc4! Kids made me a lavender bag foy pillow actually. Maybe i should give it a go

Give it a go Longest. My pillow currently smells lavendery but from memory, tomorrow's when the other notes kick in. If you do use your lavender bags, watch out for sniffer dogs on the tube...

Am burying my head about world affairs a bit. I can't engage with it all and stay sane.

Csws, absolutely agree, we’re all different and you’ve got to do whatever works for you. 🙂 I may yet decide abstinence is the right thing for me.