Wankerbastards move to 2020. With moderatin' a plenty. We rage against flouncers, strops and teens, and of dryness we have big dreams. We want teacups not fuckups!

[Frouby]

Thread 9 for the tryers to be dryers. Join us if you want some support to reduce alcohol. All welcome for support, laughs and moderating.

Will tag a few peoples name I can spell as I am useless at clicky links.

@flossie
@madameforest
@longestlurkerever
@dionoysa
@waterandlemonjuice

That is what happens to me at the weekend too. I haven’t mastered socialising sober yet. I’ve started trying to make a rule of only one night, Friday or Saturday, and doing something like going to the cinema with my mum or a solo trip out somewhere the other night.
It’s a journey!
And Dion I’m pretty sure it was only last week, maybe the week before that you were struggling to envisage even one day. You’ve totally got this!

You have totally got this! Putting me to shame. Epic fail here, think I am a bit stressed.

I'd love to read your mango essay Frouby. Wahey to impressing dd! X

I had such a good gym session with my PT tonight. I really wasn’t in the mood - I think I’m due my period, so I’m a bit sluggish and craving carbs, but I worked really hard and had a laugh.
I’m muscle tired now, properly worn out. That’s the best....

I also want to read the mango essay!

Water you are doing brilliantly

NC4 glad you had another good gym session!

Dion Day 7 go you, you deserve a drink with DP today.

Longest well done on surviving the dentist for DD and World book Day

Frouby I'd like to read your essay too

Haven't been posting because I'm embarrassed - everyone is doing so well and with the exception of Monday I haven't been AF at all this week.DP is renovating the new old house and is working until 7.30pm each day so the least I can do is offer him a glass of wine when he returns and of course I have to be sociable.

I've even failed on the giving up chocolate for Lent. Yesterday a friend invited me for lunch and the dessert was.....yes, homemade fondant au chocolat. I couldn't say no of course. But at least I still haven't bought any bars of chocolate.
The pasta and rice shelves are no emptying at my local supermarket.

Soooooo much interest in my mangos 😂😂. Will see if I can attach it later but remember I haven't done anything since A levels 20 odd years ago. Dont be expecting a Satreesque critique of a bit of waffle from mangos 😂😂.

I did find a meme that made me think of madame tho.

dion 7 days is absolutely amazing. I couldn't do 7 days. You should be so very proud.

Busy day today. Ponies this morning, then bbc bitesized maths just for a bit of light relief this afternoon. I definitely won't be dry tonight. Bottle of wine already in the fridge.

I just spat my tea out at that meme Frouby 😂
I want to get organised today. I feel like the clouds of doom are gathering, so I need to ward them off. I’ve got a few work jobs I need to do which don’t really have deadlines, so I’ve been putting them off, and I want to get on top of the laundry and housework.
Don’t feel embarrassed Madame. You are pretty good at moderating - I bet your weekly unit count drinking daily is lower than mine only drinking on a weekend.
I need to be AF tonight, which will be a challenge. I’ve got a hair appointment at 9am and I had a bottle and a little bit of wine on Wednesday.
I might need a strategy.

Hi everyone, I am new to Mumsnet, I often read the threads so I feel less alone but have only just got round to joining as I could really use some support. I guess this is a good place to start!! I hope I’ve been trying to go totally AF for a couple of years now but I always hit the same cycle.. I do well then cave in and have a binge and make myself seriously ill, I suffer with shaking, sweating, very strange scary night terrors and sleep paralysis, severe horrible crippling anxiety etc... I feel so ashamed and stupid because I know I can’t moderate and I know it makes me ill. I have read all the books, well not all of them obviously but Annie grace, the joys of being sober, the whole AA bible! But still I find myself in this annoying cycle and I hate myself do it. It wasn’t always like this - before I had kids I was a party animal yeh but could have a night out with my mates and a laugh then I wouldn’t even think of drinking the next morning but now I have kids (twins who are nearly 3) and I think the drinking has really spiralled because I don’t see my ‘friends’ anymore, have no actual life for myself, I am a carer to my partner and of course care for my kids so I get myself into this tizzy where I feel so alone then I go on a binge, which doesn’t help that my partner is also a drinker and once he starts he will drinks bottles and bottles of rum sometimes for days at a time and I am strong for a bit then I just feel as though my head is going to literally explode unless I have a drink too. So I’ve told him if he wants to drink that’s up to him but I am going to have to put myself and my kids 1st and unfortunately I just can’t be living around it in my own house so we will just have to split up as it’s realised this is a massive trigger for me. I don’t want to blame someone else for my actions, and I am not, but I also have realised I need to accept what my triggers are. I come from a family where drinking is normal, my dad is always drunk and I would say is a functioning alcoholic in denial. I have put off going to AA meeting for a while now so I am going to go to my 1st one tomorrow, I have realised that I need some support, as I have none, this is also why I have joined Mumsnet. I just what I am asking is some advice really..has anyone else found themselves to have read all the help books, gone to the GPs, got help from a counsellor but still gone back to those same bad dangerous habits? I think This time something has clicked because I feel so guilty and I know it can’t happen anymore, I can’t drink full stop, and I am scared and ashamed thinking imagine if I died in my sleep from alcohol poisoning, my kids are my life, I do struggle sometimes yeh because as I say I don’t work so have no time to myself to do anything for myself and no friends really but all in all they are my absolute world and I want to get better for myself and for them. Just after some support really

@Dion I've turned down the invitation for this weekend but accepted for next just to give myself a little more time to decide what I want to do.
I've noticed I'm sleeping better now after the first couple of nights so am loathe to potentially ruin that.
It's been so easy to slip into the habit of drinking but so hard a habit to break!

@StrongMama1989 I'm glad you feel something has clicked for you! You can do this, just take it a day at a time and come on here maybe if you're being tempted! Here if you want to chat!

Oh Mama, well done for joining and posting, and putting your foot down to your dp. A lot of what you wrote resonates with me as I also have young kids (slightly older), a functioning in denial alcoholic dm and a sick partner. It's a tough gig, it really is. I am getting a bit of myself back now my kids are bit older - i love swimming and am learning the piano, and i enjoy my job though it conspires to rain shit on me at the moment.

I am still attempting moderation and have never really wanted to go totally AF so i don't know quite how much support i can be there. We are all attempting to dance that line on this thread but some of the ladies are getting really good at long AF stints. Good luck!

NC4 hope the clouds bugger off. I am feeling a bit similar, i wallowed most of yesterday then snapped and stropped at dh, but feel a bit better today because it's sunny, though i am heading into the office late after dd1's class assembly for a shit meeting covering for a colleague who has gone off sick with what he "doesn't think is cotobavirus but....." Which seems to be stock phrase round here atm

StrongMama, I'm so sorry to read this. It sounds as if you are broken with coping (I am familiar with this, unfortunately). A recurrent theme on this thread is that we are all trying to cope with some really hard stuff. We all know that alcohol isn't really a way to cope, but it takes the edge off it.

I can't speak from any kind of position of long-term AF, as I haven't managed any more than three days genuinely AF (my 7 day stint recently has also included three small glasses of wine at lunchtime).

I am not sure what else to say, but we are all here and offering virtual hand-holding!

Kevin, that sounds like a good idea.

PMSL at the meme, Frouby.

Fucking Coronavirus can FTFO!

I broke my streak last night and had to unclaim my teacup. No reason other than I had wine in the house fgs. Feel shit today as a result, my tolerance has definitely reduced but also I’m eating a lot less atm so it went to my head quite quickly. Never mind! Will be drinking tonight as we’re going out for dinner. We are going to walk there, which is about 2 miles so that can replace the treadmill today. Dh is wfh so we’re going back to bed in a bit then I’m probably going to go back to sleep. Urgh, hangovers are horrible.

Dionysa you are doing brilliantly, well done. Enjoy tonight.

Madame, you are so good at moderating, as NC4 says, you are probably drinking less units than many of us. So I think you should give yourself a break.

Longest, shame you gave to go in but I bet it'll be quiet at least because it’s Friday.

Welcome to kevin and mama

Frouby, lol at that meme! I too want to hear about mangoes, such a weird topic!

Nc4, I can socialise sober but only if everyone else isn’t drinking. I’d struggle in a pub or restaurant although I have managed at work lunches, everyone is usually driving then anyway.

Happy weekend everyone.

Mangos in case anyone doesn't have anything better to do on a friday evening.

Been doing maths all day. Fuck sake. Even if I don't get a place on this course am really going to brush up on my basic skills. I thought I was OK at stuff like this, but apparently level 4 GCSE stuff if beyond me.

Not dry cos Maths 😂😂😂

Frouby I haven't read back so sorry as you have already said what degree it is. I have just started an OU degree I did a degree aged 18 to 21 but just fancied doing another one
Day 1 tomorrow yet again

Love the essay Frouby. It looks really well reasoned to me.
Argh, I feel horribly anxious. Drank way too much last night and all the underlying tensions in my friends group are bubbling up.
Period came as predicted so the clouds should be lifting but it’s a weird time.

accidental it's hopefully eng lit and philosophy degree with a foundation year. Spent since friday doing the maths stuff. Jesus fuck. Had to get dd to help friday again 😂😂😂.

Thanks NC. It's a bit shit reading it back but it only took me 30 mins to sling some words down and with it being administered by the DLL (learning for life department) am hoping that they are used to looking at rather chaotic, slightly random ramblings of middle aged mums who left formal education 20 years ago.

Have had a very very moderate weekend. 3 cans Friday and 3 cans yesterday and that's it. Won't drink today, got dd to pick up later on from train station.

Going to blitz the house today, ready for the chaos of tomorrow and beyond. Cheltenham festival, uni interview. If I can get through it all, earn money, get a uni place and stay sane it will be a miracle.

I think it looks great too frouby, though is difficult to read on my phone so i only looked at the first bit though. You have a lovely writing style though Frouby - succinct and clear but elegant.

Hmm, Venice is now in lockdown but easyJet say they are running as normal. Ffs surely i can't actually go? But can't currently get a refund. Will await developments.

Managed to stick to 1/2 bottle yesterday by skin of teeth. Really fancied another glass but dragged dh off for "early night" instead. Perhaps this is the answer.

Found this lovely picture in dd2's bag after she wore her tiger onesie for world book day. The stripes!

Am also doing massive tidy up trying to get all my shit back into the kitchen. Am at stage where it looks worse but am beginning to make headway. And i found two vouchers for free swimming at the pool with slides etc so may take kids before it gets quarantined

Pic

Frouby Love the meme you posted I don't get any search engine words to my website for bumsexe but I get a lot for cottaging because cottages is part of the URL. Good luck for your interview and of course Cheltenham this week.

NC4 I hope you feel better soon and the friend situation sorts itself out.

Longest love the picture! DD2's writing reminds me a little of that of my DS (13 )
I wouldn't worry too much about swimming pools being quarantined. The situation is far worse here in France and none have been shut yet. The chlorine would effectively deal with any virus so I understand.

Busy weekend here, doing a lot of painting of furniture, walls, everything really. Trying to get the gites ready for April at minimum cost because the Coronavirus has really had a terrible effect on bookings. I'm trying not to worry, but I think a lot of businesses will go under as a result. Fingers crossed it will peak soon and people will still take summer holidays.
I don't think I'm going to take anymore teaching contracts. I'm much happier just concentrating on my rental business and it is more than full time work in itself.

I’m hopping back on again!! Have signed up to 28 day challenge on oynb and am determined to see a real change in my booZing. Nice to see some familiar names and well done everyone.

It must be a worry Mme. Like you say, it's probably all the uncertainty that's worst for businesses. I wouldn't book anything now tbh but am not planning at staying at home all year if i can help it.

Agh, tidying went totally wrong. Dds managed to conspire to make most horrendous mess every time my back was turned - it was comical really, involving paint, shaving foam, flour all at once, though i had a bit of a sense of humour failure which turned into proper International Women's Day themed strop when they refused to help clear up. So currently we are not going swimming but i may relent.

Welcome back Haggisfish!

That sounds utter chaos Longest - I don’t miss the days of random mess explosions. DS1 was the one. He’d go quiet then I’d find him in the bathroom making potions.

Must be a worry Madame. I guess it’s out of your control and there’s not a lot you can do, which makes it worse.

The friend situation will be fine. Everyone’s just in a heightened state after our friend died last week. We’re all a bit shell shocked and dealing with other things too.
My friend (his wife) has just dragged me to the gym, so I’ve done a decent weights session then we went and sat in the hot tub in the sunshine. I feel loads better for it. ☀️

Sounds lovely NC4. Glad things not too serious with friends. Is shit and stressful falling out with friends