Oh no Longest. Hope she’s ok 
And Cotton that sounds tough too.
I’m knackered. DS1 was crashing round and yattering on the phone to his mates till 3am and refused to stop because of ‘the way I was with him earlier’.
The way I was was frustrated that I’d been at work all day and come home at 5.30 to the kitchen a complete state and him making bacon butties for him and his girlfriend, rudely demanding I go to the chemist to buy Rennies because I forgot when he put them on the shopping list, then saying no when I asked him to make me a brew while I ran outside to fetch the washing in from the rain.
He did make me a brew but didn’t offer one to his girlfriend as there was only one mug downstairs- even though I’ve been asking him to bring them down from his room for a week.
I didn’t shout or lose my rag or anything, just told him if he didn’t bring them down I’d have to go in and get them, and went to drink my tea in the other room.
10 mins later I get a text apologising for being rude and asking for a lift for his gf. When I’d dropped her off I told him I’d worked 60 hours last week to put a roof over his head, I have a meal plan which he’s wrecking by staying in bed till 3pm, I’ve spent an extra 5 hours this week trying to sort out his apprenticeship while he lies in bed, and that frankly it’s a piss take to come home to that.
So he told me to stop the car, got out and stomped off down the street, leaving the car door wide open and sticking his middle finger up at me as he walked away.
When he got in he shouted he doesn’t give a flying fuck what I think - which I believe.
DS2 was lovely and cooked tea and watched tv with me before bed, but DS1 came down and said: ‘Right. This is how it’s going to be. I’m going to do all the things you didn’t tell me need doing and you are going to stop lecturing me.’
Some apology. I told him it isn’t for him to tell me when to stop feeling upset.
So I told him to go back upstairs, said I was upset and it wasn’t for him to tell me when to stop being upset, I wanted to be left alone, and went to the shop.
His response- ‘I’m fucking sick of this. I’m fucking sick of you. Why don’t you fuck off to the pub and don’t come back.’ I just walked off.
So at 3am, when I texted him asking him to keep the noise down and he said no, I told him I would not tolerate being verbally abused.
He says I’m wrong to call it verbal abuse and that swearing at someone isn’t abuse, but I’m pretty sure it is? He gets so angry, it’s scary. It caused so many problems with XH as he would react back the same and I’d end up having to stand between them or pull them apart. That’s why I had to leave in the end.
I’m utterly exhausted from this. I don’t think I deserve to be spoken to like that and I don’t think it’s wrong of me to be upset at the state of the house and the attitude when I say it isn’t on.