Wankerbastards will upset us that try, but we will still be dry. Or dryer at a push. It's a good job we are not in a rush.

[Frouby]

Thread 6 for the Tryers to be Dryers.

Support thread for reducing alcohol, stopping alcohol, monitoring alcohol. All welcome, absolutely no judgement. Whatever your aims with alcohol come and join us here. Lots of swearing but no judging or criticising.

Previous threads dotted around but can never do clicky links.

That’s amazing Frouby 👏👏👏
It makes such a difference to their confidence. She deserves to be proud, and so do you.
Can I ask how they assessed her for dyslexia? I’m wondering if DS1 might have it alongside his dyspraxia.
He went for his colour blind test this week for apprentices (he has colour deficiency like me) and came away with glasses for distance. I had no idea 🙈

I’ll join in on the good few AF days run. I had three pints on Weds, three on Thurs and last night had two ciders and two gins. Like you Frouby, not horrendous but pretty fattening.

I was up at 7 this morning for the garage to take my car for it’s MOT. They haven’t been so I wonder if I got the date wrong. Only I can’t find a phone number to check 😂

NC learning support at school did it, she doesn't have an official dyslexia diagnosis as it's quite a few different tests and you tend to have to pay privately to get an official diagnosis. So at the moment school is treating her as though she has, so no point pushing for a formal diagnosis and I think it would knock her confidence.

They had her assessed in school with the learning mentor. They did some basic reading comprehension and assessed how long it took her to pull information out of paragraphs of text. Then had her read a list of words like ball, mat, tin and then similar but made up word like nim, unc, bol. The made up words she struggled to read quickly.

They think she has taught herself to read by memory rather than phonetically and decoding or however it is they teach these days. So common words in common context she gets immediately on sight. But if there is a different word, or one she is not familiar with, or it's out of context she struggles, and struggles with longer passages and working out what it means.

So she gets an extra 25% time in exams and assessments to give her more processing time, and this will follow her througg to 6th form, though she will possibly need to be reassed at uni.

Been kayaking, am buggered now. Ds ran rings round me and kept buggering off. Dd buggered of with my cousin and had a blast and ndns lad stayed with me and ds, managed to not fall in and thoroughly enjoyed himself as well.

Having an hour and a coffee then off to the allotment to do some weeding and sorting. I should be a size bloody 6 with all the running around I do!

Afternoon Tryers.

What a lovely and kind bunch you are.

Longest, I'm glad you survived your grilling. It sounds horrendous. I am in awe of the way you can switch roles too from that to being mum to looking after DH.

Good that you have had kayaking time, Frouby. And that is such good news about your DD getting the right support. She sounds fab (like her mum).

Thank you, sweet Flossie.

I think it's important to acknowledge the booze's function in dealing with pressure. It's all so fucking relentless for so many of us. It's like just being able to close a door on all the shit for a while. And why it's over drinking - not just drinking oh God yes, Senseless.

I failed completely yesterday. I was going to invent some story to tell you all, just to make myself feel a bit less shitty (i.e. a friend came over and we had wine, etc). However, the truth is that I finished work at 3 and bought a small can of fizzy white in Sainsbury's because I felt so miserable and lonely, which I drank while walking home. I then had a bit of gin (not a huge amount, it's true, but more than I should have on my own in the afternoon), then a very large G&T when DS came home and had a beer. I then ran out of things to drink, by when it was only 5.30.

So that is pretty crap all round. I doubt that things will improve today either, as I am (genuinely) invited to a neighbour's BBQ this afternoon. I don't know them that well, but think I should make the effort.

She may not need reassessing you know Frouby. DS has just registered to move up from college to apprentice and they just accepted his info. He gets an extra 25% too. His processing and short term memory are really low, but things like IQ are high. School spent £600 on an Ed psych report because he was so disengaged he was at risk of exclusion. Then he went on to pass 8 GCSEs and a BTec. 🤷‍♀️

Dion don’t beat yourself up. I think that sounds like less than you were drinking a few months ago.

And a BBQ will be nice.
I’ve agreed to meet an internet bloke for a drink tomorrow night and am having a logistical headache, which is almost making me call the whole thing off. Plus I’m fatter than most of my pictures and am convinced he’ll do a runner. FMLowSelfEsteem.

If he does, NC4, then sod him. If that were the case, you'd be too good for him anyway. I laughed at your FML, though. Let us know how it goes...

Dion - enjoy your bbq. Sounds fab!! And don’t beat yourself up about yesterday. The fact is you stopped at 5:30 and didn’t go looking for more!! That’s a plus.

NC4 - let us know the internet date. And as Dion said..he’s not the right one if he purely goes on a pic anyway. My belief is that if they are that superficial, then it wouldn’t be the type of man I’d like to be around. You need to be loved for your soul, not your skin. Good luck.

I had a friend over last night. We sat outside, ate pizza and drunk wine. Two bottles of fizz, followed by a bottle of flat white. I know she had half a bottle more than me though, because I went onto flat when there was still half a bottle of fizz left. Plus I think I only had a large glass of flat. She can..and does..drink!!

So really..I should be saying no to wine tonight. However it’s Saturday!! Like I need that as an excuse ffs!! I’ve always got a bloody excuse!!

Ahh, yes - we’ve all got friends like that Flossie! Mine has still fallen out with me, but I’m doing a pretty good job of keeping up on both our behalves.

Prosecco tonight. I’ve worked my arse off today. The cat’s got fleas, despite me flea treating him every time the vet texts me (monthly) so I’ve been cleaning, hoovering and flea spraying like there’s no tomorrow. I’ve done 10,000 steps without leaving the house!

So now it’s BBQ and fizz time. I just wish I had some company. Come round mine tryers!!

Omg NC4, can you imagine if we all did 😂. It might be a messy one involving baddddd hangovers. Mind you, we might then all manage day one tomorrow 😂

NC I would but am absolutely bloody shattered. Spent about 3 hours on the plot this afternoon, sweated my arse off tying tomatoes up in the polytunnel, did loads of weeding and picked my first ever bunch of flowers from the allotment, a huge bunch of cornflours, which look rustic but pretty.

Came home, had a bath and fell asleep on the sofa 🙈. Then it was dhs cook, as per fucking usual he wangled his way out of it by suggesting pizza hut to the dcs. So now am stuffed full of calorific pizza, its weigh in day on monday and I bet I don't lose. Fml.

Still, it saves having to clean the mess he makes when he does steaks, and can be healthy tomorrow and Monday.

Am dry though, and have had lots of exercise so that's something.

Am going to bed very shortly. Want to get up early, clean the fridge and then got dd to drop off at the retail park,need to see my mum and want to get to ponies, plus sort the weeks ironing out. And cook a nice healthy sunday lunch.

I should be a size fucking 6 me. Apart from my little nan nap this afternoon I haven't stopped all week. It's so unfair I am a fatarse.

Oops... my next door neighbour has just brought her washing in 😳

I’m going to MN prison

In short: yes please, NC4. Just give me your address, NOW. DD is never eating again because I have ruined her life. As you were.

Fatness of any kind is fucking cruel Frouby-. It was cruel at 12at, even crueller at 13st. At 15st.... Jeeeez, what happened????
Clue: wine

Yeah same NC.

I was lovely and thin when my vices were party drugs and cigarettes and dodgy boyfriends who thought an old fashioned size 10 was fucking chubby 😂😂😂. Predictably thought I was a chubster then too. Wish I was that fat still.

Evening all. Had pretty fun but knackering day at school fair followed by vintage fun fair with dfriend, dsis and family. Kids were fun all told. Have not been dry. Moderation is questionable, but not totally embarrassing so hey ho. I think there's something to be said for more communal living. Kids much easier to deal with with more adults, and more kids, around.

Lots of hugs to Dion re feeling rubbish, though you sound like you've been pretty moderate really.

Well done to Frouby dd exam results- fab news.

Nodding along to senseless's described of the human condition. My theory is that if you're doing consciousness properly you need something to take the edge off the sheer rawness or it's a fucking ordeal quite frankly.

NC4 look forward to hearing about your date.

How did it go, NC4?

It’s today Dion so I’ll tell you later tonight or tomorrow.
I drank stupid amounts of Prosecco last night, because I started early. I think I’m going to have to accept that day drinking isn’t for me anymore. It turns into all day drinking, and makes me feel shit and ashamed.
Longest, your day sounds lovely. I’m going to see my friend this afternoon, who’s hired a bouncy castle for her son’s birthday. She has a lovely huge garden.
I’m not drinking though because I’m driving later. I’m actually quite looking forward to a day of sobriety. After dry-ish June, July has been monsoon season so far.
I’ve just filled in my app for the week. The shame. Back to daily logging for me.

Good luck for tonight NC. I missed out on internet dating but would have loved it I think, mainly because I will never have another live in partner, not cos dh is irreplaceable but because I wouldn't want one. So could have fun weeding out the weirdos and the freaks and hopefully meet some interesting people as well!

Absolutely stuffed after a roast chicken dinner. Not quite a productive day as I had hoped but got my mam visited, played taxi for dd, did a few loads of washing and drying and dh did the ironing. Only because he got a bollocking this morning for washing down the decking in bare feet and treading wet footprints everywhere the knobber.

Dd bought her clothes for her trip in 2 weeks to Belgium with school. She looks very grown up. And I am everso slightly anxious about her going away now. I know she will love it and it's an important trip but abroad with school sounds so grown up!

On the other hand I would gladly send ds away for a bloody month. He has so much energy lately. Just can't wear him out. Today he's been at my mums for 90 mins playing with my nephew in the garden, building a fire and digging and trying to climb trees. Then he went to allotment with dh for a couple of hours. Still bouncing around the house causing chaos.

I think he is probably overtired, am hoping that the 6 weeks holidays calms him down a bit. If not I might be very, very fucking wet 😂😂😂.

I think I’m going to have to accept that day drinking isn’t for me anymore. It turns into all day drinking, and makes me feel shit and ashamed

Nodding along to this, NC4. I have done it twice this week.

BBQ was fine. I knew several people there. I started off with good intentions, and just had a tonic water. Then someone just gave me a glass of Prosecco, and that was the slippery slope. Sorry I got the wrong day for your date. I have lost track of everything since the DC broke up.

Good luck with wearing out DS, Frouby.

Agree re communal living, Longest. Much to recommend it.

Morning all. Checking in. Not happy about my drinking last week: two total lost nights. I'm feeling really conscious that I haven't been present enough with my kids because of it. I've been in the room with them, but from about 6 pm it's all blurry. It's not good enough.

I'm not fixing this on my own, am I? Maybe I need help of some kind.

I've read the updates and will post more to you all later - rushing now.

Have a good day everyone

Been rubbish since holifay. Need to hold self accountable so day 1 agsin. Ahhhhh

I’ve been thinking the same Senseless. One thing that struck me about the Catherine Grey book (one of tragically many things that struck me) was when she said friends kept asking her if now she’s sober she could go back to just having a few drinks now and then. She says she tried and failed to moderate for years.
I’m wondering if I just have to go completely AF. I don’t think I want to, but I don’t want to keep on over-drinking every time I start either.
Thinking about it, I can’t remember a time I did just have one drink, or two, for years now.

Morning. Perhaps I should read that book. The trouble is I am not sure I would find unexpected joy in being sober. Obviously the whole point is that it was unexpected, but I have given dry January a go, for example, and I did not feel joyous. Less unhealthy and guilty maybe, but definitely not joyous. I felt socially awkward and kind of flat. Maybe that feeling lifts eventually and I didn't give it long enough? Obviously I was sober for 9 months while pregnant but I mostly just existed while pregnant. Work, kids into bed, collapse with exhaustion, so I don't know how that would translate into the long term.

Anyway, was AF last night and have no visitors this week so could be AF tonight and tomorrow. Going out to dinner on Wednesday but with a very moderate bunch. Not drinking or having one small glass wouldn't raise any eyebrows. Thursday DH should be out. So no excuses really. Will see how I get on. Work will be stressful again though. That'll be the main trigger.

Think I have finally sorted summer childcare jigsaw. Sports club and pony day first week, grandmas plus gritty urban adventure playground second and third weeks, watersports club fourth week and annual leave for the rest. Next conundrum is the fact dd2 is kicked out of nursery mid August but does not start school till 10 September and then only half days for over a week. No holiday clubs available after end Aug. Trying to think just how unreasonable it would be to ask pregnant dsis to help out while on maternity leave awaiting impending birth. Very, probably. She may have to be left in the care of wolves.

Hi all. I'm still here but busy time for me. Hope you are all ok. Longest I really recommend the Allen Carr book. It didn't make me quit, but I'm a lot better.

I drank a bottle of wine Friday and didn't sleep and felt shit on Saturday. Good reminder for me that I only do mini bottles if I don't want to suffer.

I got a few birthday cards with references to booze and being pissed. Made me feel a bit ashamed.

Dh asked if I wanted wine for picnic in park yesterday. I knew I'd be only one drinking, and one of those cards was from sil. I didn't miss it at the time, although one glass would have been nice . I know it wouldn't have been one glass as shop only had big ones!

So mixed week for me. 4 days af. 2 glasses thurs which made me feel groggy. Bottle Friday, felt shit. Few medicinal ones Saturday. One g&t Sunday. Probs still over my units.

I think you'd enjoy the book Longest. It's intelligently written but she's also very funny with it. It's not preachy or anything - just very relateable.

I might give the Allen Carr book a go next. I read his quit smoking one and it changed the way I felt about fags, even though I didn't quit for another year. Basically, while I'm actively reading about sobriety I'm better at it. The minute I shift my focus, the old habits slip back.

The date was a definite no, but at least I put myself out there. He did ask for another date but I was kind and polite in my rebuffing. I'm actually quite proud of myself there.