Wankerbastards will upset us that try, but we will still be dry. Or dryer at a push. It's a good job we are not in a rush.

[Frouby]

Thread 6 for the Tryers to be Dryers.

Support thread for reducing alcohol, stopping alcohol, monitoring alcohol. All welcome, absolutely no judgement. Whatever your aims with alcohol come and join us here. Lots of swearing but no judging or criticising.

Previous threads dotted around but can never do clicky links.

I am practicing self care tonight by doing fuck all. My house is a tip and I’ve got work to do but I just want to go to bed. I’ve got a bar of green and blacks - I just want it to be 9pm with DS2 all sorted, so I can have a bath and get in bed.

Well I practiced my self care by going for a long walk for an hour with ds and the dog. It was either that or sit staring at my phone as dh fucked off to bed at 7pm.

So we went on a big, long walk all the way around which is a couple of miles. Ds was really good and didn't whinge until we were almost home. According to my app I have walked 8.5km today and apart from walking back to the car, all of it has been with ds and he's had a full day at school. He's a little powerhouse bless him.

Had a lovely light dinner of nachos, various dips and olives and a toasted pitta bread. Not very SW friendly but I think I earned it, and still probably less calories than a big bowl of pasta.

Am going to have a shower and go up to read.

Hi everyone,
It's cooled down a lot here now, so sleep is easier. Leaving I don't know how you cope living in hot countries most of the time
Dion I hope you are feeling better now and that the hangover has gone.

Senseless have you read the Catherine Gray book? NC4 read it, I enjoyed it too, good tips on giving up there, from someone who had quite a serious drink problem, as well as a serious social life.

Frouby I hope DH stops whimpering soon, lightweight!

Didn't drink too much at the weekend despite having 2 parties, one at lunch (until 6pm) then the other from 7pm. I didn't drink much because I drove, and didn't eat much at either do, but still seemed to have put on 2kgs in a week. Depsite all the sport!

Flossie I know it isn't for everyone, but running helped me love myself when I was at rather a difficult stage in life a few years ago. My mother told me to find a passion, hoping it would be to go back to piano playing or painting or something but I got into running and started winning a lot of races so it was quite an ego boost. As well as making a lot of new friends. A good way to feel good about yourself is to set objectives, like Frouby and her kayaking, and swimming planned for next year. They don't have to be big goals, just achievable ones, and ones that you will enjoy doing.
I find mindfulness, yoga etc. too introspective and boring, and prefer being active and outdoors in nature, but each to their own!

Sorry to hear it name changer - hear to lend an ear if it'll help.

MIL is here and in a stressy frame of mind. Am still tired from weekend plus poor nights sleep. Had wine but stopped at 1/3 bottle and really don't want more. Have peppermint tea and will be off to bed shortly. Feel sluggish and fat though, especially after seeing photos of the weekend.

DH took dd2 to school settling and apparently all went well. Turns out nursery is on early finish next Monday too which clashes with yet another work thing but DH has said he'll cover that too. Will take a break from moaning about him I think . Have been nominated for work award for social mobility gubbins though which is nice.

Lake looks lovely Frouby, and glad your dd was such a star on the walk. Mine are terrible at whinging. I don't know what good they think it does. I seem to spend my life saying "That sounds like a whine to me. Is there another way to say it?" In a progressively grumpy manner. Tonight it was primarily about the fact I got new sofas a year ago and dd1 liked the old ones better.

Your ds. Phone keeps autocorrecting it to dd, unhelpful sod that it is.

Thanks longest ... Just the usual...worked my butt off on a project at work and everyone said it looked great at every stage and now it's delivered and I've paid for it out my budget they suddenly don't like bits of it.

Pleased to report I had two Beck's blue instead of wine and love island

Adding a star to the app.

Hope everyone is feeling healthy and happy 🙏

Gah namechanger. Nobbers, as Frouby would say. Well done on not caving, that's incredible.

Thanks 🙂 glad I found this thread again! I need all the support I can get

longest I tell mine I can't hear what they are saying because of the whine. I can't stand being whined at, it drives me insane.

Ds isn't particularly whiney with me as a result but he does whine at dh, mainly because dh is Disney dad and will give in. Dd is a pro at manipulating him, I never know whether to be cross or impressed when she gets what she wants.

Weather is gorgeous here this morning, am going to do school run, an hours work then bugger off to the stables I think. Busy night tonight, ds has his swimming lesson 4 to 4.30pm then am taking ds, dd and my ndns son kayaking. Have added ndn to our family membership as it's for up to 5. He is 16 in 2 weeks, a lovely lad but hard work for his mam. She was on her own with him for a long time, and he's very much ruled the roost. Now she has a newish dp and they are getting married next year, he hasn't taken well to a new man in the house.

He's also pretty lazy, and I hate to say it, but very overweight which I know he hates but won't do anything about it. So am hoping kayaking inspires him a little bit to be more active.

He and dd are food friends as well so it will be company for her. They were funny last night the pair of them. Sent them both a fb message asking them to pm me a selfie so I can print it off today to put in their membership cards. Ndn sent me a picture of him with a footballer, said it needed to he just a selfie of him, so instead of just taking a selfie he cropped the footballer out. Dd sent me a photo I took on holiday last year where she is looking lovely instead of just snapping a selfie. Must have taken her ages to scroll through and find it 😂😂😂. Vain little buggers.

It's some kind of kayaking fun race thing tonight, am going to suggest dh has a walk down with the dog to watch. That will go down well too 🙈.

Yay can I join?

Trying to reduce my intake as was getting into very bad habits of a bottle of wine most evenings. Also had a few very embarrassing occasions where I've got totally leathered on a night out and made an idiot of myself and in some cases made some very bad and dangerous decisions.

Most recently had a huge row with dp and was horrible to him. He was really upset with me and that sort of shocked me into realising that I'm out of control when in that state. Since then i haven't been drunk at all.

I'm not aiming to go tee total but I am trying to cut down and not put myself in the position where I lose control anymore. So far have managed three weeks! Have had the odd glass of wine or cider here and there but never more than two. This is really good for me.

Looking forward to following everyone else's progress :)

Welcome dirty! 3 weeks of proper moderation is amazing, do you have any tips? A lot of us find our willpower wanes after the first glass.

Frouby, it drives me mad too and I think I am strict with it. I also say I can't hear them, just a whine, and I often say no just because of the tone in which something is asked, but it seems to make no difference. Sometimes dd2 will try to say the same thing again in a neutral tone but descends into whining again before the end of the sentence. Hope it's not a lost cause as it grates on my last nerve. I prefer a tantrum. Perhaps that's why they don't go for those so much!

Nice your dd and friend had fun. Both my dds have a few good male friends, including a few who live on our street and it's nice to think that dynamic can continue into their teens.

Woodcraft sports day today after work and babysitting for friend's 3 boys, who will also be overtired post woodcraft folk. Wish me luck!

Tbh I really haven't felt much of an urge to properly binge. I can't really explain how bad I felt after my last proper drunken episode but it was awful. Really upset my dp, made a total dickhead of myself, nearly did something very dangerous. For the week or so after I just felt anxious, depressed and disgusted with myself. Since then it's almost like my craving for alcohol has massively waned and even when I've had one or two I've not had the urge to have more. Sometimes I guess you need to hit rock bottom to realise how bad things have got.

I've also found that keeping really busy to the point of making myself tired helps as when I finally sit down I can't really be bothered to drink - drinking when I'm tired does nothing for me other than make me more tired!!

I don't plan to never drink again but I have plans in place to moderate my drinking. at home I can set myself limits and stick to it easily. When out and about I will alternate wine with water or soft drinks to try and stop myself getting in a state. For now I am avoiding the pub and social occasions that involve a lot of drinking but I don't think that will last forever. For me it's about changing my habits and finding a way to enjoy alcohol moderately, safely and sensibly.

Would love to hear others stories!

I have crawled out of my bed of misery and am going to catch up later today, when I get back from work. No moderation last night.

Dion, hugs. Are things no better?

Dirty, nice to meet you. And well done.

Dionysa - I'm sorry you're miserable. Hugs to you. Looking forward to chatting later when you get a chance.

Madame- i have read that book and I found it a great read. She's good company!

Hi everyone else! And to those who mentioned it, ARGH! the WHINE! I feel the energy drain out of my body like air from a mauled air bed when I hear "Mum-myyyyyyyyy....." ARGH!

I'm not well. Got sent home from work today and I'm feeling pretty stupid about it. Had a tearful catch up with boss where he really didn't hear me. He DOES hear me, but he counters what I say with rationality that really doesn't apply.

I say: I am tired of being treated as if x, y, z is my fault. I am not being directly accused of anything that I could counter, but there is an attitude of hostility to the stuff that I raise that I'm finding really difficult.

He says: but it just isn't your fault.

I want to say (but do not): I KNOW it isn't my fault which is WHY this is so hard because I'm constantly getting icy disapproval and there is NOTHING I CAN FIX because it's NOT MY FAULT

What he did say, which does help, is: you are not alone, I am here, you don't have to fight these battles by yourself. So that's better than nothing.

So yeah. This has nothing to do with booze. Went out with boyfriend last night and had two drinks: one glass of wine at dinner, one small whiskey nightcap at home. I'm ok with that and at least I know that in this case, for once, it isn't a hangover dragging my mood down. I'm on the sofa at home looking at a vase of roses that I've placed directly in my eye line because he gave them to me. for no reason. He has never given me flowers before. I love them and they look like love.

All my friends are sick of me complaining about work. I sound mad and paranoid and it;s the same old broken record. they must just be thinking: leave or stay, but stop boring us with it.

I'm so tired.

Sorry to be here complaining when there are so many blessings I should be counting. This collapse today really crept up on me. And I feel stupid and I don't feel myself bouncing back fast.

Dirty welcome to the thread, it sounds like you are doing really well, hope you find some support from here.

Dion

Senseless can you take a few days off to feel better? Do you have any holidays left you could take maybe? Am sorry you are feeling like this and you are doing so well not to dive into a vat of wine.

My dh is driving me bonkers. He was hungover yesterday and sunday from bbq. Today he's come in from work whining he's fallen over and hurt himself. He hasn't, he just didn't want to walk down with the dog to watch kids do slalom races. Was in bed when I came home at 8.20pm. Says he's tired. Fucker is always either tired or pissed or hungover.

Still, he's been dry since Saturday so that's something I suppose.

Kids loved kayaking. Took ndn, he fell in so many times bless him but never gave up. Dd enjoyed it again as well and really tried hard. Ds is just bonkers full stop.

"I love them and they look like love". Aw Senseless you have melted my stony heart. I am so sorry you are dealing with such crap - it sounds like bullying? I am glad your boss is nice but maybe he needs to stamp on it harder rather than just give you warm words?

Nail on the head with airbed comment! See also: hair raising shrieks at any perceived injustice, which are a speciality of dd2 and which suck out my mental poise like an EU regulation- breaching uber-hoover. .

At friend's house babysitting. Is quite relaxing really. Her boys were being very sweet. They are not yet asleep so could be speaking too soon but they have not yet objected to being in bed. Obviously AF.

Somehow appear to have lost my keys at woodcraft folk sports day though which is a bit of a worry. Have retraced steps to no avail so hope they turn up in my bag after all or similar. Am such a Muppet. I sometimes think I might have some level of processing disorder because I am disorganised to the point of liability. I have no spatial awareness at all and could get lost in a paper bag. As a result I am in a constant state of flap.

Dr rang and X ray is clear so coil confirmed MIA. Her theory is mooncup has sucked it out of me so she is considering revising her advice about whether they are safe to use with coils. Which is a reasonable hypothesis because I had no trouble with Mirena coil (well apart from feeling like I wanted to top myself at times) but also no periods so no mooncup. Anyway, going to attempt it again but have confirmed that it does make my periods heavy because they've been fine since it became dislodged - I was hoping my body had just got used to it but clearly not. I suppose the snip might be an option but I don't know if either of us have got our head round the permanence of that. I know as things stand I don't want any more kids but can I say never? Even if circumstances changed? It's getting less and less likely that circumstances could change in time anyway as I'll be 40 next year but still.

Love to all.

Senseless that sounds like a truly cruddy day. And I agree with Longest, it does sound like bullying.
I had a horrible bully of a boss for several years. He was the impetus to go freelance actually. It was only when I took a short term contract working for a non-bullying, truly supportive and inclusive organisation that I realised what a toll it had taken on my professional self esteem. I felt constantly anxious at work, and it definitely wasn’t my new employer’s making.
So I went back freelance.
Anyway, my point is - if it is bullying, don’t brush it aside out of a need to bounce back and be professionally strong. You know it isn’t your fault.

Longest, sympathy on the periods. Flipping heck, I have felt rubbish this week. I think all the periods I haven’t had for two years with Mirena had been stored up waiting to come at once. Hearing tales from the perimeni crew on here, I hope it’s a blip and not a taste of things to come.

Frouby I’ve been meaning to ask... do you like shandy? My top fat club tip which I’ve remembered this week is mixing my beer half and half with diet lemonade. I’m quite partial to a real ale shandy and that halves the calories and the units. Double win!

Frouby crossed posts. Awesome pic. Your dd is beautiful and looks very happy.

Bugger. Fell off the wagon.

4 pints on spontaneous dinner date night out with DP 😖 I chose the 3.8% beer but even so. I had fun and don't feel that drunk either which is even more conflicting.

Has anyone read the unexpected joy of being sober by Catherine gray? I'm reading it at the minute and it's quite eye opening

Hi Dirty, yes I have. I really enjoyed it. It made me a lot more aware of some of my own unhelpful thinking. I’m looking for something else to read now.

Hello. Hope you're all ok today
I've been to the dr and got some new drugs.

Longest, this coil stuff is pretty scary. So you had a coil that literally just wandered off... out of your entire body?! I hope that doesn't happen to me. I thought they were kind of unfuckable with.

Dion, hope you're ok - missing you on here?

Frouby, your daughter is gorgeous and has a beautiful smile - she looks like a lovely person. And the NDN looks like he is having a great time - thanks to you :)

Thisname - don't worry, a few drinks on a night is what normal people do. Dont go into fuck-it mode whatever you do - you're fine.

Thanks everyone for all the sympathy while I feel sorry for myself about nothing :)

Have a good day everyone.

Good luck with new drugs senseless. Yes it has gone AWOL. To be fair they did say to have strings checked 6 weeks in to check it was in the right place and I negligently failed to do so until smear was due. But had to take MAP and worry about all the times when I did not take MAP as thought coil was safely doing its job. But good old sub-fertility meant i was ok, thank god, and have been using condoms since coil gate began.

Afternoon all

Hope that you feel better soon Senseless. It's awful when you feel so down and stressed.

Have taken a day off work today and played ponies this morning, and actually sat down and ate lunch when I got home, had a lovely peaceful shower and just generally chilled out for an hour. Have been hectic the last few weeks.

Got a meeting at dds school tonight about her Somme battlefields trip in a fortnight. Hoping it doesn't drag on for hours as really fancy a drink tonight. Just spied half a bottle of wine in the fridge left over from the weekend and think I am going to splash out and drink it. Been dry sun/mon/tues and will be dry Thursday as well so am happy with that.