Wankerbastards will upset us that try, but we will still be dry. Or dryer at a push. It's a good job we are not in a rush.

[Frouby]

Thread 6 for the Tryers to be Dryers.

Support thread for reducing alcohol, stopping alcohol, monitoring alcohol. All welcome, absolutely no judgement. Whatever your aims with alcohol come and join us here. Lots of swearing but no judging or criticising.

Previous threads dotted around but can never do clicky links.

Marking my place 🍷

Morning all

Hope everyone enjoyed the sunshine yesterday, we definitely did with a bbq and family and friends round. Drank far too much, feel shocking this morning and have a 10am softplay party with ds to go to. Fml.

My kitchen looks like a bomb has gone off, as does the garden. Just drinking coffee and wondering where to start. And planning more coffee and a bacon buttie at softplay.

Dion hope you are OK lovely lovely lady. You should have come to us, that way all you would be sad about was your whopping hangover like me.

I overdid it yesterday too Frouby, and the day before. I’m quite ashamed of myself.
I was doing well while I was reading the Catherine Gray book.
Can anyone recommend any more decent quit lit?

Hi everyone!

Frouby - good luck today at softplay. I do not envy you.

Dion - sorry you're blue. Wish I could have a coffee with you and cheer you up. Have a virtual one with me online

longest - happy anniversary. don't beat yourself up over a blip.

leavingaqaba - thank you for asking! - yes I feel SO much better. not perfect but so much better than Friday.

Madame - hope it's a bit cooler now where you are.

Everyone - hello, happy Sunday!

I drank too much last night but actually it could have been worse. I started early, drank a mini bottle of white which was actually pretty nasty and that led me into going to Tesco to buy a bottle of something nicer. Drank the lot, too fast.

Then I found I did not feel good. I probably felt more like a normal person would feel after drinking over a bottle of wine and while out of habit there was a part of my brain considering what to drink next, most of my brain wanted water and food. I drank probably about 2 litres of water between 10 and 11.30 and sobered up a lot, meaning I woke up feeling alright.

I'm not happy I drank all that and I'm not happy I consumed all those calories, (wine + munchies = OMG HOW MANY CALORIES?!) but I'm happy I stopped and I'm happy I don't feel like I'm going to do it all again tonight.

I feel a bit weird and jittery though. Things I have to deal with that seemed alright yesterday and the day before seem frightening and doomy now. That much booze isn't good for your head. WHY WILL I NOT REMEMBER THIS. ok, no beating myself up: next time I will try to remember it.

Hope everyone is ok. KOKO

I

Sending heartfelt hugs to Dion and Senseless, and coffee to leaving, Frouby and NC4. Flossie, thinking of you Back from camping. Was pretty fun. There was a river to swim in and fab BBQ. I got kind of grumpy just before midnight as sodding kids wouldn't go to sleep and I was so tired, but is probably just as well as I would have stayed up for another glass of wine probably otherwise, and actually felt ok this morning, at least after coffee and another river swim. Now sitting in garden listening to distant sounds of festival in the park ignoring dd2"s pleas to help her with lego.

It isn't my wedding anniversary but what DH calls our "proper" anniversary- 22 years since we met, age 16, at a party just post GCSEs and bonded over a shared love of the NME. For the life of me I can't work out why my parents let me to to a boozy sleepover at creepy middle aged scout leader's house in the middle of nowhere, but I suppose it seemed innocent enough.

Music has been the glue in our relationship ever since I guess - and it helps me make sense of the world. Is lovely that the girls are starting to appreciate it properly too - and we are going to our first festival as a family in August. We bought each other gig tickets for anniversary presents too so looking forward to those.

Friend has offered to babysit tonight as I am sitting for her in Tuesday but I can't decide whether we'll be too knackered and would rather have a takeaway in the garden. Need to let her know pretty soon though.

Oh dear God, one bottle o of wine down. DH is back after being away for a week, and is annoying me left right and centre!

I do a bit of the Madonaa song at this point "Bad girl, drunk by six...."

I love music too Longest. I wish I had an NME boyfriend. The guy I snogged on a night out is into music too - that’s what we were chatting about.
I can see how it would be relationship glue.

longest takeaway in the garden sounds ideal
senseless glad you are feeling better
dion come back and talk to us if you can, we are thinking of you.
Jesus what an amazingly shitty day (work) but got back to good mood DH, who was feeding the kids after their first exciting day at summer camp. I made a meal with a bottle. I opened a second after the kids were in bed (didn’t offer him, he was distracted and being very ‘good’ these days). Sorted washing, pots etc. #doingthe rightthingsortof 😘 plug in 2/3 of bottle. Bed now.
June was 12 days AF, planned 15, harder than it seems. 4 of them in a dry hotel, 2 or 3 due to massive hangovers. Several mad drink days. Long way to go.
Love to all 😘

I'm still here. Thank you, all. Will try to post tomorrow. AF tonight, as I had a month's units last night.

Hugs Dion - I PMd you back. Tomorrow’s a new week xx

Hi lovely ladies.

Sorry not been around. So much to read back on too so I will in the morning when I’m more alert.
Got home yesterday. Dh has gone on a blokes golf weekend. So I had friends round for drinks (obviously!) last night. Didn’t stop me drinking tonight but only had half a bottle.
Have epically fallen out with my mum. It’s really upset me. Plus all the stuff of going away for dd hospital. And dh away. I’m trying to learn to love myself. Have actually googled it!! My friends last night were so warm and loving that I went to bed feeling valued. It taught me something. I was woken this morning by my mum calling on the phone..she completely upset me and brought me back down.
I’m thinking now that I really have to learn to love myself. Any tips?? I’ve done yoga today. It helps, but it’s not a miracle cure just yet....

Will read you all tomorrow, not AF at all.

Self care is so important Flossie. Do you meditate, or do mindfulness? I sometimes listen to tracks on YouTube that are very soothing and self affirmative.
Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a child - kindly. And really make the most of this little break to look after yourself.

NC4 - thanks lovely. Yes I like to meditate and do yoga. But not always am I able to switch off which is annoying. I need to try harder. 🥴

Evening tryers. Bloody hot. Beck's Blue are my salvation.

Checking in. AF. Have a good night, all, and sleep well.

Flossie I am finding looking after myself better physically is making me feel better mentally. Am eating healthier, dryer, more exercise. Sleeping better as a result of all the exercise and less alcohol. Also doing stuff just for me. So kayaking the last 2 Saturday mornings without ds. Going to the stables when dcs are at school. Reading.

It's taken months though. And still a long way to go. I think just being a bit selfish with my time, but also more focused and organised with the rest of it. I hate to say it, but being more man. Dh wouldn't think twice about saying 'oh I am going out Saturday for a few hours' or 'I fancy an early night' or 'I am eating x for dinner, do you want x or do you want to make yourself something different'.

Having said that I have a very busy week this week, a million and one things to get done and sort. Am definitely going to be AF as much as possible. Had a very boozy weekend with drinks friday and Saturday and still feeling the effects this morning.

Today I am working for a few hours, trying to clean and wash and iron, a big shop to get in, want to get to the ponies and have an hour on the allotment, and the dog could do with an extra long walk after a weekend of shorter walks because of the hot weather.

I also find limiting my time on social media helps enormously. It's easy to sit down with a coffee and find yourself an hour later browsing mn and fb and it doesn't achieve anything much.

Good to hear frouby

Is anyone else using an App? I've got the Drink Free Days and Alcodroid ones. Drink Free Days is great and makes me feel good because I am doing better and seeing all the stars for AF days is great (14 AF days last month which is a MASSIVE improvement!) but the Alcodroid one is a really wakeup call because that tracks your actually units. It's actually awful how many I put away. Have a good week everyone.

I think the key thing Flossie is not to beat yourself up. I noticed even in your post just now you said "I must try harder". My generally quite emotionally illiterate boss said something sensible the other day - (it was in the context of mental health awareness but relevant here) sometimes you're just having a tough time and you shouldn't think this is your fault for not having done enough mindfulness or whatever- it shouldn't be another stick to beat yourself with.

So i know I moan a lot about how much I have on my plate but I am ok I think at not feeling guilty for doing stuff just for me sometimes, and this isn't always with self-improvement in mind- in other words I don't cram all my free time with decluttering or gym visits and so on - I'm overweight and the house is a tip but I feel more in control than I did a year or so ago because I know I am making an active choice not to prioritise this stuff above all. I actually did a course that made you map out your ideal week with colour coding etc and it made me realise I kind of have my ideal week already but it just doesn't have enough hours in it. If I wanted to fit in tidying or gym I'd have to cut down on sleep or chilling time or time with the family or work and frankly I don't want to. It's allowed me to let some things go. I also have started being more selfish sometimes too. During term time I have a few hours every Friday just for me. Sometimes I have work to catch up on or things at the school or whatever but sometimes I don't and I can spend a bit of time going for coffee, having a swim or a stroll round the shops or through the woods. I also consciously stopped myself from booking my piano lesson for 8:30pm on a Wednesday and turning it into another thing to fit in. Instead it's 6pm on a Sunday and gives me a bit of a break from the kids.

I am sorry about the fight with your mum. I think you said the other week that she's getting more unreasonable as she gets older. It's quite common and a sad fact of life I think. Hugs.

Glad you had a lovely time with your friends. Is there anything I can do to help with your London trip? The Brompton is not so far from my office.

Went out in the end, to new local Sri Lankan restaurant. Was nice. Drank too much wine. Had anxiety dream about work. On the one hand am glad it was just a dream and I wasn't really hideously late for meeting with minister and arguing with colleagues. On the other hand it feels like I have already done a day's work so a bit rough having to get up and do it all over again! Ah well. Meeting friends for work lunch tomorrow and have old school friend plus dsis coming at the weekend.

Interesting, Thisname - hadn't thought of an app.

Anyone else? Any recommendations?

Happy July everyone!

Urgh, I HATE it when that happens Longest. It's like you have to put in a double shift.
I use Dry January app Senseless. I had 22 AF days in June, which is great, but the days I did drink I went hard. So I think that can be July's goal. Cut down on the amount I drink on drinking days.

Same....the more AF days I have the worse the binges seem to be 🙁

NC 22 days is amazing! I had 16 dry days, and 31 drinks over june, so not too horrendous considering we have had a couple of boozy weekends.

I have found my tolerance has gone down massively since I drastically reduced, and the resulting hangover just isn't worth it.

Have just sat down from 7am this morning, 2 hours work this afternoon turned into 5 hours, the went to allotment straight from school with ds and his mate and his mum which was a nice way to spend an hour. Got home, finished work, rallied round aldi, put clean bedding back on, tidied kitchen and fed Guinea pigs and ds.

Dh still hungover from Saturday and is whimpering on the sofa and annoying me. Am going to walk down to the lake with the dog I think, it's a lovely evening even though it's a bit blustery, too nice to be sat at home.

AF tonight for first time in ages.

Terrible day at work. Badly want wine.