I’ve been put in an awful position by friends Dad!

[FancyDreamer]

My friends dad added me on Facebook not long ago, which isn’t unusual I have lots of my friends parents on there. I noticed he’d separated from her mum but never messaged or engaged with him at all.

I posted some pictures at a garden centre yesterday and he has liked them all then messaged me saying hi and calling me baby girl, I’m in my 40s he’s in his 60s so immediately my back came up with the term. I didn’t respond to the message.

Today he’s sent me atleast 10 messages; not once have I replied saying he thinks about me a lot he’s single now and we should meet up one day for a drink. I’m absolutely furious because now I’m in a position where he’s crossed a line. I will feel uncomfortable at my friends gatherings as we quite often do all get together family wise as my parents were close with her parents so on and so forth.

I still haven’t replied but intend on telling him it’s entirely inappropriate, but do I tell my friend this has happened? We’ve been friends over 30 years and never ever fallen out. I feel sick.

Just block the dirty old bastard.

If it was his partner/ex partner I would just to give them a heads up. It might also be something that's funny eventually. Because it's her dad though I wouldn't mention it. I would however respond to him in very clear terms that you think it's gross and inappropriate. I wouldn't try to be diplomatic. If he is signal he is of course entitled to date again but immediately casting his net at his daughter's friend who has shown no interest in him is really ewwww for lots of reasons. I would then continue to go to social occasions etc as normal and grey rock him (as in ignore him as much as possible but not to the extent the ignoring is paying him more attention than just passing the salt would be for example.)

Just block him or adjust your settings so he cannot see or message you.

What other advise do you expect people to give you?

This makes me so angry. The entitlement! What’s your friends relationship like with her dad? I’d want to know if my father was being a sleaze.

Are you sure it is actually him? Could someone have hacked his account?

Forward the messages to your friend and ask her to have a chat with her dad because this is inappropriate

I would just block him, he will get the message. Middle aged blokes do seem to get a bit obsessive and inappropriate!

First reply nails it

Hi Jim. I’m going to be direct because I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding. I was very uncomfortable receiving your messages, particularly being called “baby girl” and being told that you think about me and that we should meet for a drink. Firstly, I only date men my own age, and given that you’re my friend’s father, and that our families have known each other for many years, I consider this inappropriate and it has crossed a boundary for me. I have never given you any indication that I was interested in anything other than the normal family/friend relationship we’ve always had.
I’m not interested in meeting up or pursuing anything beyond that relationship, and I’d ask that you respect that and not send me messages of this nature again.
I hope we can leave it there and that things can remain civil and comfortable when our families are together.

Don’t tell anyone else. Just block and delete.

Think those celebrity men with young girlfriends give a delusional message to some older men 🙄

Oh this is hard. Cos you don’t want to keep it from your friend and them be upset. Also - gross!

Can you see you’ve read the messages? I’d just block him - he’s a dirty old man.

God yes just block him.

Revolting.

Send a very direct response telling him there’s no chance in hell you would ever be interested and it’s disgusting that he would creep on his daughter’s friend. Fuck being polite. And don’t keep it a secret. Let your friend know her dad’s either been hacked on fb or has tried it on with you. You have nothing to feel guilty about, it’s his shame not yours.

This is good. Polite yet firm.

Yuk

I'd block him.
I no longer give these creeps the time of day

Remember what Giselle Pelicot said about "this is not my shame"? Well this isn't yours. You're not the one "making things awkward" so block him now, you can decide everything else later.

Presumably he's known you since you were a young girl? Dirty old man.

He definitely does need putting in his place however you decide to do it. I’d talk to your friend personally

Personally I would tell your friend, surely she’d want to know so she can call him out on it. Delete and block him straightaway though.

I would send screenshots to his ex snd daughters,

men like that have a habit of blaming women snd making you the bad guy

not your problem if its awkward he's done that , you go to the social gatherings with head held high

I think I just wouldn’t reply and wouldn’t tell my friend. She doesn’t need to think of him that way, it would be so weird and upsetting. I’d just think what a sad man and remain civil at parties to not cause any more drama for their family.

So are your parents likely to suggest a meet up with him if they are still friends? I would tell my parents.

A very good friend of mine’s dad was far too frisky with me but I have never told her.

He is dead now and she thinks the absolute world of him. I don’t think she would believe me tbh.

Just block or unfriend him.

Oh goodness what a position to be in. I personally would tell your friend if you're close.

I also wouldn't tell the friend. He's her father, not someone she has a position of authority over, if he's only in his sixties then it's not likely she has caring responsibilities for him either. He's an independent adult, acting independently.

I'd send him one message very firmly telling him that this is inappropriate contact and you have no interest in 'meeting up with him', then block him. If he's at family parties you make sure you are never alone with him and you keep your distance.