I’ve been put in an awful position by friends Dad!

[FancyDreamer]

My friends dad added me on Facebook not long ago, which isn’t unusual I have lots of my friends parents on there. I noticed he’d separated from her mum but never messaged or engaged with him at all.

I posted some pictures at a garden centre yesterday and he has liked them all then messaged me saying hi and calling me baby girl, I’m in my 40s he’s in his 60s so immediately my back came up with the term. I didn’t respond to the message.

Today he’s sent me atleast 10 messages; not once have I replied saying he thinks about me a lot he’s single now and we should meet up one day for a drink. I’m absolutely furious because now I’m in a position where he’s crossed a line. I will feel uncomfortable at my friends gatherings as we quite often do all get together family wise as my parents were close with her parents so on and so forth.

I still haven’t replied but intend on telling him it’s entirely inappropriate, but do I tell my friend this has happened? We’ve been friends over 30 years and never ever fallen out. I feel sick.

Reply telling him how utterly inappropriate he's being, screenshot the messages and block him.

Then obviously tell your friend.

Anything that happens after that between father and daughter is his fault, not yours.

Absolutely tell him it’s inappropriate and to knock it off. Take screenshots of the messages. Delete and block him. But definitely get proof it happened first.

And then yes, I would tell your friend. I doubt it’s the first time and maybe will help her put the pieces together with why friends are ghosting her. It’s not fair that this is going to impact on her friendships and she doesn’t even know why. She deserves a right to deal with him directly instead of everyone pretending it didn’t happen.

This. Yuk. I was pestered by one of these a long time ago (pre-internet & mobiles) and had to change my home phone number, & go ex-directory as well.

If you've known your friend for 30 years, I'd assume you've known her Dad for as long? It's unbelievably creepy, entitled and inappropriate! I can't believe the audacity of the man, in all honesty!

I would reply politely....Hi Dave. Your message has shocked me, as I've known you as long as I have Laura. I have absolutely zero interest in you romantically or otherwise. I think it would be best for everyone, if we forget your messages were ever sent, as we don't want an awkward atmosphere if we were to see each other at family gatherings.

I think you need to be polite but direct. There needs to be absolutely no doubt in his mind where he stands.

I would take screenshots of the messages and your reply though before blocking him. Simply as a safeguard, in case at any point it comes out he's messaged you, and he tries to twist the situation.

“Stop being a nonce Brian”

If my dad was sending messages like that to my friend I would want to know. I can imagine there’s a whole host of women in his sent messages! Dirty bastard.

“Eurgh, behave! You’re my best friend’s Dad - too weird”

And block.

I wouldn’t reply either, just a straight block. And I would send the screen shots to my friend.

The question was, “do I tell my friend?” Blocking him is easily done but this might have a ripple effect, that’s why she posted.

Brilliantly put..it's not on op to cover up sleazy dad's behaviour.
If it comes out it's not the daughter who should be embarrassed or shamed.

It's the man with his unwanted dirty advances that's the problem

Don't just block him. Say that you find him repulsive and it makes you feel sick. Refer to your revulsion of elderly people making passes at you. This should stop him in his tracks.

There are a lot of replies here, I am going to try and get to them all.

Years ago I found the situation very difficult to deal with, but these days? Nope.

"Fuck off" should just about do it.

This is perfect. To be honest. I did think to just block him but then he could tell my friend that I have, and tell her his version of events. I want to tell her myself because if this comes out I’d rather it be from me.

Yikes..Tell him where he can get off..

Block him. If it ever come up later, just tell him and/or your friend that you thought the messages were meant for someone else as clearly you would never be interested.

Maybe that’s the best way, to message her and say “I think your dad’s been hacked because…” and then be completely honest. If he hasn’t, he will have to be accountable for his actions, either way the shame doesn’t stay with me.

'I assume this has been sent to the wrong person, As im sure you agree a message of this kind is inappropriate to send to a friend of your daughters.'

Or if you don't want to skirt round it.

'Piss off, not interested.'

Elderly people
In no way do I condone his behaviour (baby girl 🤮) but he's in his 60s fgs and she's in her 40s. They're both fully grown adults. Surely being your 60s is only considered elderly if your a teenager?

Yes, since primary school

Yes, elderly. Age is not just a number.

I'd be more 'fuck off you dirty old man'. Yuck.

I would message your friend and tell her! Dirty old perv

I accepted because he’s a close family friend and I had no reason not to. As in my post, I have lots of my friends parents on Facebook, this is the only one who’s been inappropriate and not sure how that’s my fault for accepting a friend request.

Ah! So it was.

Obviously not necessary to tell the friend!