I’ve been put in an awful position by friends Dad!

[FancyDreamer]

My friends dad added me on Facebook not long ago, which isn’t unusual I have lots of my friends parents on there. I noticed he’d separated from her mum but never messaged or engaged with him at all.

I posted some pictures at a garden centre yesterday and he has liked them all then messaged me saying hi and calling me baby girl, I’m in my 40s he’s in his 60s so immediately my back came up with the term. I didn’t respond to the message.

Today he’s sent me atleast 10 messages; not once have I replied saying he thinks about me a lot he’s single now and we should meet up one day for a drink. I’m absolutely furious because now I’m in a position where he’s crossed a line. I will feel uncomfortable at my friends gatherings as we quite often do all get together family wise as my parents were close with her parents so on and so forth.

I still haven’t replied but intend on telling him it’s entirely inappropriate, but do I tell my friend this has happened? We’ve been friends over 30 years and never ever fallen out. I feel sick.

Just block him. Not sure why you'd accept in the first place.

My neighbour is 15 years older than me, and he's started to make inappropriate comments. He's always been fine, and my partner and I both get on with him, albeit he is way too chatty. But I've started to notice when I'm on my own that his comments are starting to get suggestive.

I'm just going to start walking the other way. You just have to deal with things like this. When I was younger I would have laughed awkwardly and kept chatting. Can't be bothered now.

I’d screenshot. Then block.

I would just block him. Don't tell your friend, you'll only embarrass her!

Make it swift and clear, you’re not interested and never will be. This will never be spoken of again!

I would forward screenshots to your friend saying you are worried that her father got hacked or is mistaking you for someone else or you are worried about his mental state.

Gah 'baby girl' blurggg

Gross. I would block him and then I'd message your friend and suggest she check in with her dad because you think his facebook account has been hacked and someone is using it to send creepy messages. That gives them a face-saving out for the father-daughter chat, but will hopefully discourage him from 1) trying anything else on with you, and 2) sending messages to other friends in case they do the same thing.

Perverts thrive on secrecy and shame. Drag this one into the light.

This is the second message that is trending on MN right now about men sending inappropriate, pushy, sleazy messages! 😳 (the other one that I just saw was about the OP’s friend’s husband messaging her)
I’m so sick of men being like that, and sick of the expectation in society that we are polite to them!

‘Don’t be disgusting Derek, I won’t tell Sandra about this for her sake but try to have some self respect.’ Block.

I would go with this line, and say “Hi Friend’s Dad, it appears you’ve been hacked? Just wanted to alert you!” Keeps it neutral.

Why does everyone want to protect creepy, arrogant men.
DO tell him it is inappropriate and not to message again.
DO tell your friend, her father has overstepped a line by a considerable amount and you never know, telling her might benefit her either if he’s been inappropriate in the past or prevent it in the future.
DO tell your own parents if they have socialised with him in the past and could do again. His behaviour is unacceptable and people should be given the opportunity to know who they’re dealing with.

Why do we women feel we should damage control a man’s behaviour. Call him out.

You're an adult being approached by another adult, nothing else relevant. Tell him you aren't interested and goodbye, end of event.

Yes, do this. Along the lines of when someone says something insulting, racist, rude etc, you ask them to repeat themselves -- it makes them think about what they said, and gives them at least the opportunity to say 'Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. That was grotesque and I apologise.'

Just block him. Don't feel at all embarrassed or awkward. You didn't do anything wrong. If anyone asks just be honest.

God bless your naivety. Bit of a coincidence that someone hacked his account and used that power to send messages to his daughter's friend, isn't it?

Eeeuuuu Just block him.

Call him a dirty old b* when they get inappropriate you act inappropriate too. Now you are both equally uncomfortable

Wow, he's so out of line. What on earth makes him think you'd be even remotely interested? As for calling you 'baby girl', genuinely I'm not a sensitive person but I'd be livid at that - you're a grown woman, first of all, secondly what creep says that to any woman (unless it's his existing partner and she likes the term)

Just wow. I don't think you have any choice but to tell your friend, however you don't have to disclose the details.

I'd be absolutely mortified if this was my dad. What a crao position for you to be in. Telling her could impact your friendship. I'd be so embarrassed if it was my dad that the friendship would need to be really close and solid for me to not just want to avoid them.

I’d be tempted to tell your friend you think he’s been hacked because of course a decent man wouldn’t behave like that. To hell with carrying around guilt or awkwardness that’s his to bear.

Just block him. Don’t give it any more of your headspace. Yuck.

What outcome are you hoping for by telling your friend, the man's daughter?

I would have a grown up word with the man, say you're not interested / see him as a father figure / it's making you feel uncomfortable, then tell him to reset and go back to being your friends dad.

Just block him!!!

1. Reply "these messages are inappropriate' and I do not want any further interaction with you".
2. Screenshot for proof should you ever need it
3. Block him
4. Don't tell his daughter

Sad that so many people are saying not to say anything.

OP, you must tell your friend. Because this kind of prick is capable of telling her you flirted with him.

Screenshot and send her his message and tell her can you have a chat because his inappropriate messages from someone you see as a father type figure have really upset you.

I agree to block and ignore. And I reserve the right to remind people of this the next time someone says that age gap relationships are perfectly fine.