I’ve been put in an awful position by friends Dad!

[FancyDreamer]

My friends dad added me on Facebook not long ago, which isn’t unusual I have lots of my friends parents on there. I noticed he’d separated from her mum but never messaged or engaged with him at all.

I posted some pictures at a garden centre yesterday and he has liked them all then messaged me saying hi and calling me baby girl, I’m in my 40s he’s in his 60s so immediately my back came up with the term. I didn’t respond to the message.

Today he’s sent me atleast 10 messages; not once have I replied saying he thinks about me a lot he’s single now and we should meet up one day for a drink. I’m absolutely furious because now I’m in a position where he’s crossed a line. I will feel uncomfortable at my friends gatherings as we quite often do all get together family wise as my parents were close with her parents so on and so forth.

I still haven’t replied but intend on telling him it’s entirely inappropriate, but do I tell my friend this has happened? We’ve been friends over 30 years and never ever fallen out. I feel sick.

It's gross and inappropriate, but if it were me, I don't think I would tell my friend unless
things escalate. You (as in, you and your friend's dad) are both adults, and it could cause your friend a lot of distress through no fault of hers.

I would definitely give him a very firm reply as suggested elsewhere on this thread, and keep the screenshots of his messages as evidence should it ever be needed. Hopefully he backs off and feels very embarrassed, as he should.

Why on earth involve the ex?!
Yes, mention in passing to the daughter, and block him.
The End.

Just block him? Why the drama?

I don’t understand your quandary. Why wouldn’t you just screenshot the messages and send them to your friend?

Why though? Friend is not responsible for her dad's behaviour. It could cause major problems for her. I can see arguments on both sides but I don't think it's obvious she should tell the friend.

I think the worst part is, if you’re in your 40s and have been friends with the daughter over 30 years, presumably he knew you as a child? So gross.

If you have to be around him at family gatherings, I’d try to keep it civil by politely declining due to you looking at him as extended family and not wanting to put his daughter or your parents in an uncomfortable position. If he persists, threaten to tell his daughter and then do so. Make sure you have screenshots of everything!

I think you should show the messages to your dad if they're fishing buddies.

I'm glad you told your mom and I think your friend should know. He might be doing this with other friends of hers and she could lose friends with her dad sexually harassing her friends.

I do think it's likely that he'll lie and be dismissive and say you took it the wrong way but he was to the point of harassing you if he was sending 10 messages a day.

I'd quietly block him as thoroughly as I could.

Unless you feel you friend needs to know for some reason, I wouldn't tell her, because this then becomes a dilemma for her about whether to tell her mum. Hopefully he's not going to proposition any more of his daughter's friends. People do seem to couple up after divorce very quickly nowadays, but maybe getting blocked will teach him a lesson.

I wonder where he's getting his chat-up lines? 'Baby girl' - honestly!🙄😂

I’d tell her. It’s creepy and also could be the reason her parents split. Just be honest with your friend. Imagine her parents got back together after he’s tried it on with her friends. Who knows how many more he’s messaged.

Send this

gosh alan, im a bit young for you. Try Tinder!

Best advice

All the has he been hacked posts? are just giving an out to a creepy sex pest. Stop it.

If he’s friends with your parents tell them, I’d expect they want to unfriend him. Creep.

Id block him. If he was mates with my dad I might show my dad the messages just so I could tell someone else.
i probably wouldn’t tell my friend just to save her the hassle of it all and out to kindness.
He probably has cognitive decline aswell as being a sleaze. Grim.

Same. These awful fucking men thinking they have the right to make us feel uncomfortable like this.

None of that is your or your friend’s problem and you must not take on any of the emotional la or social responsibility of his appalling behaviour and thoughts.

It sounds like your parents are friends of his. Depending on your relationship with them, they might be my first port of call.

As for telling your friend, that’s a diplomatic nightmare (messenger shooting being rife) but I’d certainly scope out whether she’s open to hearing that.

And of course, screen shot his messages!

You need no more guidance than this!..

This is an easy one to manage. You point out the ridiculousness of his pervy messages by assuming they’re for someone else!

”Hi John - It’s Sarah, Louise’s friend. I seem to be getting your messages for someone else. Hope all well with you. No doubt see you at Christmas. Take care”

If he replies saying it’s for you, reply “Haha, funny! Also, gross 😂 “

Forget the drama, just block the dirty old git. Hopefully he will realise that his messages were not welcome. I wouldn't be telling anyone else, he will be humiliated enough when he realises his amorous advances have been firmly rejected.

Tell your friend everything. It’s not for you to feel ashamed and hide it, it’s his.

Maybe send him a polite note saying thanks but no thanks, you’re not interested. And then unfriend him. He may be going off the rails a bit with his relationship breakdown. I don’t see the point of upsetting your friend by telling her. Yes it’s a bit creepy but you’re all grown-ups and if he backs off then no harm done.

Inappropriate, uncalled for. Obviously a mid life crisis man thinks being a keyboard warrior is an excuse to say stuff online he wouldn't say IRL. Ignore him online, and I would advise removing him from the socials. I've had all sorts of unwanted unsolicited stuff online and just ignoring these creatures usually works

TELL HER!! You must! Just screenshot the messages - Block Him - show you have blocked him by taking another Screenshot & send them to her and say sorry to be the bearer of bad news but....

You must tell your parents too. If you all get together he (your friends dad) must be ostracised from the situations - so no one feels uncomfortable

omg what is he is wanking over you? This is harrasment - he would be better hearing it from his own daughter and ex wife than the police

if you just block him - he has the opportunity
to do things like catch you at the corner of your eye or approach you when no one is around

I feel sick for you!

my own uncle did something similar to me

Don’t tell your friend. She’ll be embarrassed.

I would just ignore and block him and when you see him say oh I don't look at my messages or never receive them if asked.