Advertising tag-lines and slogans from the past - what can you remember?

[TheTecknician]

Here are just three:

'Course you can Malcolm.' Vicks Sinex
'A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play'. Mars bars
'The chocolate and a half.' Cadbury's Dairy Milk

And grad-u-ally zee ice melts ….
Cointreau!!

In the olden days of Pearl & Dean adverts at the cinema, there used to be some shockingly naff local ads. I remember one where the advertising business had obviously made use of a paid-for template, and then added its own content

Shot 1 (the paid-for template) - A picture of the universe, with all galaxies and stars and planets and stuff. Portentous voiceover - Where in the world are you going?

Shot 2 - Rubbishy amateur photo of a local high-street store. Cheery voiceover - To Swan's Dry Cleaning, you won't find anywhere cheaper!

Oh, yes, the scratch and crackle of the local ads coming on. Ours were for a garage, a motorbike shop and an Indian restaurant. Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-pa-ah!

And the cartoon of two blokes running along, I think past a row of shops, and one says ‘here, Bert, this is the place’. They go into a shop with no signage, and up pops the ad for Brian’s Yoni Workshop, Maison Balonz or similar local emporium. Classic.

I bet you a million quid you also sing:

Coldseal Windows
Are the best
Double two
Double one
Double five

It’s frothy, man… (creamola foam)

I can see the pub from here..(castlemaine xxxx beer)

Whatsupppppp (Budweiser)

You know when you’ve been Tango’ed (Bloody awful fizzy juice, lol)

Jingle, pom pom pom - Esso Blue.
(It was a paraffin that you burned in heaters in your house)

Can't beat the real thing
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Gosh, I’ve just googled this. My father, who would be 102, used to sing this and I thought he’d made it up! Thank you.

I think you've been burgled. Yellow Pages. Advert for cleaners.

Not adverts but PFIs from the 1970s:

'Don't dazzle. Dip your headlights'.

'I'm trying to con my way in to steal the family silver!'
'What is he doing with those candlesticks?'

Let the train take the strain !
I still think that’s quite good .
And those AMAZING Woolworths Christmas ads with loads of celebrities.70’s I think No particular jingle but SO exciting to 8 year old me !

Country Life, Country Life.
You'll never put a better bit of butter on your knife.

I think the Bev-Kev one was for the AA

At the risk of sounding like Alan Partridge... "It's Bill Oddie!"

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You can't work as hard as
No one works as hard as WHOO as hard as Right Guard
When you're working hard then
Right Guard's working harder
You can't work as hard as WHOO as hard as Right Guard

Any excuse for one of my favourite Milton Jones jokes...

"My parent's names are Pearl & Dean. Of course, I don't use their actual names; I call them Mama & Pa-pa-pa-paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" 😁

Put Coldseal Windows to the test
Double two
Double one
Double five

Sung in a broad pirate accent, of course!!

Yes, that one lives rent-free in my head too! They had to get themselves a freephone number when the city dialing code changed, as the additional '9' didn't scan with the tune!!

Weren't they the ones that were originally called Heatseal, but they had to change their name to avoid... certain implications of managing their business?!

This one isn't quite as old as many of the others mentioned in this thread, but if anybody wants an earworm for the next 10 years...

I fancied the candle sticks lady.

If you hear a noise with your milk and your roll
It must be the 10:30 Humphrey patrol
In slippers with pom-poms for creeping about
Watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, there's a Humphrey about.

One hundred Humphries soft as silk
Out on the hunt for your Unigate milk
Get extra pintas or you'll be without
Watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out there's a Humphrey about.

On your last trip, did you discover what the Earth people eat?
They eat a great many of these (holds up a potato)
They peel them with their metal knives
Boil them for 20 of their minutes
Then they smash them all to bits.

A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat
A finger of fudge is just enough until it's time to eat
Its full of Cadbury goodness and very small and neat
A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat

Im a secret lemonade drinker, R Whites, R Whites
I've been trying to give it up but its one of those nights, R Whites, R Whites
R Whites Lemonaaade
Im a secret lemonade drinker, R Whites, R Whites
R Whites Lemonaaade
R Whites, R Whites, R Whites, R Whites.....

Every Kwik-Fit fitter, has to go to school
We teach them all there is no know, each little golden rule
Our fitness has to be first class, only the best will do
When they pass with flying colours, they're official boys in blue
So drive on down to Kwik-Fit, they're waiting just for you
For every product's guaranteed, you'll love their prices too
You can't get better than a Kwik-Fit fitter
You can't get better than a Kwik-Fit fitter
You can't get better than a Kwik-Fit fitter
We're the boys to trust

A Humphrey was a mysterious "thing" never seen that came to drink the milk secretly because it was so delicious and it drank milk through a very cheerful stripey red and white straw.

For some reason my cousin thought a humphrey was actually an elephant.

The song was written by Mike Batt of Wombles theme fame

Advert with Muhammed Ali (!?) and then the song

Advert for the flavour filled straws with Benny Hill

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And Jimmy Savile promoting wearing a seatbelt which was optional until the early 80s - clunk click, every trip. Savile also appeared promoting rail travel on the 'this is the age of the train' campaign.

Ironic that Savile was seen as a trusted face whose advice people would listen to back in those days 😮

I'd be interested to know how big those fudges were - the ones that were advertised as a little treat and 'just enough' and 'very small and neat' - compared with the modern shrunken versions of the 'standard' sized chocolate bars!