Two weeks of intense messaging then silence, what did I do wrong?

[joanna123457]

Hi all. Just need some unbiased advice! I’m 44 and met this guy who’s 38 a couple of weeks ago online. Initially it was lots of your gorgeous you’re a fitty and I said do you want to chat via WhatsApp. He said yes we swapped numbers then have basically chatted every day since for just over 2 weeks. Day 2 it was oh it would be better if you were here with me, we’d be up to no good etc, to be fair to him every day if he couldn’t text back until later on it he’d always text and say sorry for the delay just finished work etc.

I’ve had lots of “I’ve had such a long day need a bath and a massage from someone…could that someone be you and I can think of someone in particular that I’d like to be here - you. 🤯 so all going well. Now…radio silence. No even reading texts. I got one text yesterday morning and that’s been it.

what did I do wrong?

Unless he was in a coma he could still use his phone 🤦🏽‍♀️

Exactly - I was guilty of it too when my first marriage ended ‘basically there was a guy shaped void’

Exactly this. You keep going over what he said, without acknowledging no woman with any self-respect would have responded AT ALL, let alone after the first ghosting.

He can probably sense your desperation, it’s oozing from your posts.

Why oh why would you want to keep talking to someone like this?!

We get it. You've told us this numerous times. What is really going on here?

But only after you chased him again!

I basically told him good bye and the next thing I know he messages me straight back 🙄

So your previous partner didn’t even have the respect for you to want to make it a relationship and asked for a “situationship” and you agreed 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

Pleaze @joanna123457 get some help asap. You desperately need to work on your own self respect and self worth so that these men don’t even have a chance to say a full sentence to you.

These type of men will treat you how you let them treat you and you’re just a pawn in their sad little games. They know you don’t demand respect or boundaries so they don’t give you any.

Get some therapy, buy some self help books, follow some Instagram pages of professionals who can offer tips and advice on self esteem and healthy relationships etc and better yourself and your life.

You like the IDEA of this person because he’s basically telling you what you want to hear.

He’s lost interest.

Because he was using you as wank material. He was getting his kicks with all the dirty talk and fantasy. There was no real intention to follow through with meeting or having anything that resembles a relationship.

Dating apps can work I met my now partner on their and we've been together 10 years now the guy you're talking about just seems to have used you forget about it and move on

To be fair to him he did actually text back yesterday and apologised for the delay

Honestly OP, you shouldn’t be dating at all if your self esteem is so low. Anybody with a decent sense of their own self worth would have run a mile and certainly not given him a second chance.

You're placing far too much importance on a few messages with a random stranger and getting carried away with the potential for a relationship.

In your shoes, I’d be messaging a few guys, actually arranging to meet them for dates, and having lots of fun getting to know them over time. I absolutely wouldn’t be messaging one man for weeks at a time with no plans to go out. That’s a surefire recipe for obsessive thinking!

i see where you’re coming from, so far we’ve got to the which week are you next up near him stage, so it can happen

Good luck with that!!

Omg I can't believe you'd pursue this! He's 5 hours away, a sleazy git, and either this meet up will never happen, or he'll splatter your tender heart all over the floor.
Good luck, but I'm out.

Oh God. You roll your eyes at him messaging you back immediately after you say goodbye. Why you'd say goodbye is beyond me. Now you're being "fair to him" because he said sorry.

Are you serious?

This man is using you to wank off to and for his fun. Why are you taking
validation from a stranger who you've never met and never will?

That’s fair. Perhaps I needed to hear that but I am up his way anyway for work in 2 weeks time so I thought I’d drop it in see what his response is

There's no helping you. If you go and see him it won't end as you want.

Isn't there
False name
Pretends he doesn't know you
Is married.

on and on.

Just why?

@joanna123457 if you want a long-term relationship which isn't a situationship or sex on tap then get the Burned Haystacks book or go on the free FB group and follow it to the letter. If you pop in in two weeks time, he'll have sex with you and then you will be back here another few weeks later saying why is he ignoring me, why doesn't he want a relationship? I think you have to know that most people think he is giving red flags he's not into a relationship and if you proceed, you will not be getting one. He's not special, he's not different, he's a bog-standard man who will get his leg over, if you are happy with that once every six months and sexting, that's good because that's what's on offer.

OP you need to wake up, this man is not going to give you what you want. Why did you go back to say ‘goodbye’, you just showed him you’d take crumbs. Honestly read this thread and believe what we are all telling you.

@joanna123457 you've gotta be on the wind up noone is this bloody foolish surely?

No it’s not a wind up at all there’s no way I would post all this for that reason.

Maybe your not ready yet to date. I have come to this conclusion, 6 months after dh left me for someone I thought I was ready but soon realised I was putting too much hope in to a conversation and there are some strange men on the apps. I have membership left so still on there but had to have some rules for myself, like if too far do not match/like or if message with hey babe or anything , block as I want to meet someone with a potential for a relationship not a quick hook up. When membership ends I will come off a while as think I am too vulnerable still and need to work on myself a bit more, I realise missing companionship because not been on my own for 27 years but I have to learn to like me and my company and then maybe see if someone comes along

You are literally delivering yourself to a guy who couldn't be more blatant about the fact he only wants sex? I mean no shame, I met my husband and father to my kids as a tinder one off hookup 🫣 but I get the impression you don't just want a casual fuck you want a relationship