Two weeks of intense messaging then silence, what did I do wrong?

[joanna123457]

Hi all. Just need some unbiased advice! I’m 44 and met this guy who’s 38 a couple of weeks ago online. Initially it was lots of your gorgeous you’re a fitty and I said do you want to chat via WhatsApp. He said yes we swapped numbers then have basically chatted every day since for just over 2 weeks. Day 2 it was oh it would be better if you were here with me, we’d be up to no good etc, to be fair to him every day if he couldn’t text back until later on it he’d always text and say sorry for the delay just finished work etc.

I’ve had lots of “I’ve had such a long day need a bath and a massage from someone…could that someone be you and I can think of someone in particular that I’d like to be here - you. 🤯 so all going well. Now…radio silence. No even reading texts. I got one text yesterday morning and that’s been it.

what did I do wrong?

Nothing! Do you know them in real life, or through a dating app?

If it's through apps - Im afraid to say this is your bog standard time waster, they look for a diversion for a week or so but are very easily scared off when you say you want to meet in person or they just drop off the radar.

It really isn't you.

Nothing.
He's met someone else nearer home who's giving him sex.
Probably.

You realise that 2 weeks of sexy messages isnt a relationship right? You didnt do anything wrong.

Hi, no just through a dating app. I sent a few messages saying apologies for barrage of messages it’s been a week off work lol drop me a line if you still want to chat….he hasn’t even read them.

I understand that I’m just fed up of starting to like someone then off they go again after all those warm messages. 🤔

How can you like someone you’ve never met? You can only like the image that YOU have compiled in your head. It’s not real.

A few messages, meet or move on.

I get that and I’ve hinted at meeting he’s 5 hours away and I’ve had all the oh we’d be worth the drive from him but that’s Ben it

You’ve never met him , how can you like him?

Oh God. Why are you thinking you did something wrong? He used you for wank fodder. He's found someone to do it in real life.

But you didn't know him so how could you like him. Why you think it's going well as he sent you lots of flirty messages, and shit ones at that, God help you.

@joanna123457 he love bombed you. Sorry to say. It happens a lot on dating sites.

Five hours is stupid. In future, don't hint. Use your words like a grown up.

Hinted? You need to ask, if they say no save yourself the time and energy.

His girlfriend probably came back from holiday, his work course finished, honestly these guys will take any opportunity

He was most probably hoping for pics to wank over. 5 hours? Don’t waste your time.

Fwiw those messages are not examples of things going well. Sounds like some silly teenage chat. Where’s the talk of your interests, what you got up to at the weekend, what you are looking forward to etc. jumping straight to hinting at sex chat isn’t a good sign

His messages sound a bit cringe to me. That sort of talk would put me off straight away.

THIS. You did nothing wrong but you completely overestimated what you meant to him.

For you, it seemed like an emotional connection that might lead to a relationship.
For him, you were just a visual image to have a wank. (sorry, but its true)

Stop getting emotionally invested so quickly in men who havent shown that they are equally invested in you.

A man who hasn't even met you in real life who quickly starts sexting isnt a decent relationship prospect and he only wants sex. Thats it. Dont invest any emotion in men like this, you will always end up being hurt

It's a common and boring messaging tactic. Some guys immediately get onto the intimate/sexy chat bandwagon and then waste your time because they are not really interested. And to be honest, they are not interesting people either. Why would you entertain such nonsense, boring talk from a man you haven't met and are unlikely to meet? I mean you can hardly develop any chemistry without seeing the person. And in this case, what were the chances? Smarten up and stop entertaining such stupid conversations.

This is why I try pin down a video call and a coffee date within first week, the ones that make excuses are the ones just using you for boredom.

Then again, im chatting to someone only been 2 days then silence, not blocked, just not read. I archived him....so no notifications
.2 days later he actually called and asked why I wasnt reading his messages. There was a family death and he works 250 miles from home, left his charger in his digs and then dealt with initial family stuff and then bought a new.charger. I don't disbelieve him, we have weirdly got old army mates in common and hes popping up on my suggested friends on SM so I could easily check.............

something genuine like this is a is rare in my experience.

It was two weeks some messages and they never met, it was just some random flirting, not love bombing!

You didn’t do anything wrong because this is nothing to do with you. He had zero intention of ever meeting you. You’ve been a bit of fantasy for him. Someone he could potentially sext with, while not committing to any sort of future with you. I doubt very much he’s even single.

Internet dating definitely can work. I met the love of my life on line and am very happily married. But if he sends messages like that within days of you starting to talk to him, he’s full of shit.

You dont know him 2 weeks is 14 days, its not love bombing, it was just a few flirty messages well cringey ones.
Just back and forth chit chat led to nothing so move on and maybe find someone closer to home.

Its like that poster that moved her new man in her home after 3 weeks whats wrong with some women.

Come on, OP. He’s a stranger. He wanted a bit of flirty chat and now he’s bored and ghosted you. End of story.

Five hours away is a non-starter surely.