Two weeks of intense messaging then silence, what did I do wrong?

[joanna123457]

Hi all. Just need some unbiased advice! I’m 44 and met this guy who’s 38 a couple of weeks ago online. Initially it was lots of your gorgeous you’re a fitty and I said do you want to chat via WhatsApp. He said yes we swapped numbers then have basically chatted every day since for just over 2 weeks. Day 2 it was oh it would be better if you were here with me, we’d be up to no good etc, to be fair to him every day if he couldn’t text back until later on it he’d always text and say sorry for the delay just finished work etc.

I’ve had lots of “I’ve had such a long day need a bath and a massage from someone…could that someone be you and I can think of someone in particular that I’d like to be here - you. 🤯 so all going well. Now…radio silence. No even reading texts. I got one text yesterday morning and that’s been it.

what did I do wrong?

Eeewww, did he ever talk about anything other than being naughty!?

Thanks everyone. Think I need a little bit of time to myself away from OLD and men in general!

He sounds awful. Modern dating is awful. (I’m single)

I tried but it always came back to would we be naked from him 🙄

He more than likely married and likes the flirty texting it gives him an ego boost , it wud be a red flag for me straight away those sorta texts he's just after sex !
You should be kinda getting to know someone then go on date at least but 2 weeks of texting he's messing u about

I agree. I was already put off enough by men as it was after my situationship and this has just added to it. To add to it he’s just completely ghosted me

It would not be much of a relationship being so far away. Meet someone nearer.

You’ve never met him, he’s a fuckboy just wanting a hook up or pics of your junk, or possibly already in a relationship, that’s not how you start a proper relationship.
HTH.
Raise your standards.

And what about him made you think he was nice? His messages were totally cringy, what have you been putting up with in the past if this was your benchmark?
You need to build up your self esteem before you even think about another man.

Agreed and it won’t be happening again. Jumped too soon into OLD after a very crappy situation-ship that went on way too long

Oh Jesus…based on his messages you’ve done well to not be hearing from him again.

You didn’t do anything wrong…consider it an experience to look back on and laugh at.

It's what they do.

They do this even if it's not sex talk and you legitimately appear to get on great. I was unfollowed and removed from following literally mid conversation.

There's a lot of defective people out there treating others like shit.

Five hours away 😳. How was it ever going to become a relationship? People who have been in good relationships and then find themselves long distance for some reason can rarely make it work.

He has probably found someone nearer.

You have come out of a crappy relationship and his attention was a boost but for him he wants to hook women in for sex. He has gone silent because it’s a mind game to test how desperate you are and whether you will put up with it in the future. He will be messaging other women doing the same thing so he gets a harem of woman that will allow him to butter up, have sex with, go silent and repeat with the next one until it’s your turn in the queue again. He gets a massive ego boost and casual sex on repeat with different women who are vulnerable because they have low self esteem due to a past relationship and will be craving attention.
Block his number and get off the dating sites, you need you time to be kind to yourself and stay clear of these wolves.

Yep those messages are cringe - I'd have blocked someone I hadn't met who sent me that stuff. Messaging that starts off like that is a massive red flag to me.
There are a lot of players on dating sites - married, timewasters, bored, men just wanting to get off on messaging women.
Take some time for yourself - being treated badly by someone does sort of batter you, makes your defences lower without you even knowing it. Have a complete break from men/dating and do a few things just for you to build up your self esteem x

Oh, and don't forget to block him!

What did you like about the messages and what made you experience them as warm? To me they come across as someone who is looking for sex with anyone and doesn't give two hoots about who you are or what you want. If you are looking for casual sex that's fine but if you are looking for dating/potential relationship then these messages tell you loud and clear that this is not what he is after.

If you could add up the time it has taken him to send you those (frankly, pretty dull) messages over the last few weeks, it would probably only be an hour or so of his time. That’s the amount of effort he had put in. It’s depressing to think about how many men are firing off these sort of messages. On lunch breaks, while their wife is at work, while away with work. They mean nothing.
I’m sorry you were used like this.

Thanks he always used to text back on the day and be like sorry for the delay etc etc, now complete silence. Don’t know why I bothered I really don’t

I thought he was a teenager! Naughty FFS!!

If you want a relationship then find someone closer to home and actually meet them at an early stage. Intense messaging between strangers is just fantasy - you are talking with an image of them you are creating in your head rather than the real person.

Nope 38 🙄

He met someone else, don’t look too deeply into it. He will be back when he is finished having sex with her and wants you again.

Thats just my opinion and I could be wrong, but even if I am, it’s NOTHING to do with you or anything you did wrong. It’s him.

38? He’s sounds like a silly teenager. Surely you, at 44, were squirming? You can do better.

When you say ‘situationship’ that to me sounds like ‘we are both saying he is better than me, we can have sex while he is waiting for someone better to come along’

You deserve better.