Partner kicking off over “autumn decor”

[inkyspells]

I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I enjoy decorating for autumn..nothing crazy just a few small candles /floral decorations and a nice candle.
Anyway partner told me I can’t put anything out till October.
i was in spare bedroom and seen a little candle “vanilla pumpkin” I thought oh il just put it on unit and maybe light it when it’s dark.

Partner just really kicked off
Its too early
looks stupid
I said October
You don’t listen
Not even joking either ,being really nasty about it

Anyway I’ve just put it back in the cupboard

Was I wrong to go against him and put the candle out ?
Even tho he said October

You are a bit wrong, as it's nowhere near autumn yet but you're not doing any harm.

The way you describe him speaking to you is seriously wrong and sounds controlling.

I think you have bigger things to worry about than candles OP.

Yes you were wrong. It's August.

It is too early. It AUGUST.

your relationship issues are another thing.

It Is just a candle rho
its not like it’s a pumpkin
just a scented candle

Yup. He is correct about autumn but the two of you need to negotiate these things calmly.

Although it's not autumn it doesn't give him the right to talk to you like that. Who put him in charge. I'd be looking for my own place so I could put out whatever candle I like!

I think you're focusing on the wrong thing.

It's not about the candle.

Focus on your arse of a partner.

OP, you're missing the point here. It being too early is trivial. The issue is in your relationship if the description in your first post was accurate.

There's no law about when you can burn an autumn candle.

Some people put their Christmas decorations up early.

There's no need for anger over such a small thing.

I can't believe people are saying you're wrong. So what if it's August?

Even if it was April and you put out a whole family of dancing and singing skeletons, that does NOT give him the right to a) tell you what you can or can't do and b) talk to you like shit.

OP it's your house and your life. You can put out pumpkins and candles in February if you so choose.

Is he often like this?

I wouldn't want to be celebrating Autumn yet, let's have summer for as long as we can, but we'd have a sensible discussion about whether one candle was really decorating for Autumn and/or a polite request to put it away for a bit.

Oh ffs. Every week it’s a new thread about this vile man.

This is not about the candle, people.

This is about a bully and how he made a woman feel.

OP, does he bully you in any other ways? Has he used his temper to make you do or not do thisngs you wanted to before this?

Your response to this makes me suspect you've seen this side of him before.

@inkyspells

Report your original post (use the report post button).

In the dialogue box, ask to have your thread moved to Relationships.

You'll get sensible responses there.

It’s august! Autumn is I hope at least a month away. October and November are fair game for autumnal decor if you like that kind of thing, December Christmas then winter Jan and February

Oh...it's shopping woman

She's been married since late June....a d already he's ruined a honey on, never wants to do anything, kicked off about shopping and got moody, and now this.

Just divorce him. Sure it's been 2 months but fucking hell.

Well, it’s not autumn yet but you’ve hardly burned a witch at the stake. My husband would barely notice if a candle was lit let alone what flavour the candle was.

He does. He got all arsey with her about her popping into a shop and she had to go back the next day, because he didn't want to let her pop in for 10 minutes, then he got all moody.

Completely agree with him. It’s August. It’s sunny. We’re having a BBQ, kids are in the paddling pool, have yet to buy school shoes. It’s still peak summer.

As much as I don't want any reminder of autumn just yet, he is very wrong to dictate what you can and can't do in your own house. Why do you let him be the one in charge? You shouldn't need to have permission to burn a candle.

He is an arsehole. Light whatever candle you want whenever you want. Probably not relevant but it's Autumn in Ireland. Feels like it too!

Some people get a bit melancholy at this time of year. Summer is ending, it’s an in-between time before winter properly kicks in. If a little candle or a bit of autumn-themed decor brightens your mood sure what harm. Your partner needs to relax a bit

He’s a controlling arse.

Paddling pool?! Today? Are you in the UK? It’s cold with grey clouds where we are. I’ve got the heating on.