Is concern about shorter men’s attractiveness mainly an online exaggeration? In my experience it is

[KJ311]

Have only quite recently found out about this, probably in about the last year or so, but after having a nose on other halfs mn account and seeing a few height related threads, nearly all featuring at least a few women being quite vocal about not finding shorter men attractive [definitely not all women but quite a few], as well as seeing a few other social media platforms featuring content relating to shorter men being undesirable, left me feeling very perplexed. For the record I am male, 33, 5'7'' [maybe hovering around 5'8'', haven't checked my height in a while but around 5 7/5 8]so not drastically short but definitely nowhere near what could be called tall, and have never once experienced "heightism" in my day to day life, I have been in 4 relationships over the years and have never struggled at all with dating, including during my teenage years when girls are usually at there most superficial, and no one has ever even mentioned my height. My current partner, soon to be mother of my first child is 5'3''.

Just recently when looking online I have seen literally tons of online articles and social media, as well as threads with comments [including on here!] basically painting the picture that if your a shorter man your pretty much going to struggle immensely with being found attractive, I'm sorry but this doesn't translate in any way to the real world, and is completely debunked by walking down any high street and witnessing literally millions of shorter men of all ages who are married or have girlfriends. To me it just seems to be one of those weird online things thats heavily exaggerated [not completely untrue but definitely exaggerated], just wondered if anyone else noticed the same?

Can’t say I ever found it a problem, but I’m a short-arse as well. 😉

I think you're right that it's exaggerated and many women, me included, aren't bothered about height. However many are, and that's OK too. Online dating is literally set up around men's priority (age) and the most unattractive thing is when men have a chip on their shoulder about some women having a height preference.

I can only speak for myself really in the 'height preference' thing and I actively prefer a man within an inch or two of my own height (5'6). Never been keen on having someone loom over me and have no desire whatsoever to feel like 'the little woman'. But that's just me.

I don’t find short men attractive sorry op, I prefer a tall man. We all have preferences, some men like tall women or short women, blonde women or brunettes, some women don’t mind a men’s height, some like skinny men, some like heavier set ones, it just is what it is.

you’ve no shortage of dates and you don’t need every woman to fancy you , so don’t worry about it

Thank you! I completely agree! This is one of those social media/chronically online things which really doesn’t help young men as it makes them think there are lots of issues out there with their height that really don’t exist!

If you’re short and you can’t get a girlfriend it’s probably because you’re a dickhead not because of your height 😂

Mine is 5' 9", two inches taller than me. If a man is too tall, things don't, ahem, line up in the best ways, so he's just right 😁

I have to admit though, I wouldn't want anyone shorter than me. I would feel unfeminine, and I like men to be relatively broad and so on. It's all subjective though . Personality and compatibility is key.

Online bullshit is just that. It's not accurate to a lot of people in reality.

I'm a tall woman and I actually prefer short men! I feel intimidated by tall ones. MY DP is 4 inches shorter.

Most women I know wouldn't date a man who was like 5'4 regardless of their own height. 5'7 is about the minimum if that is taller than them

doesn't bother me at all but then i'm only 5'3 so most people are taller than me anyway

I'm 5.5 and would never date a man shorter than me. They'd have to be at least a couple of inches taller than me when I'd wear heels so my minimum would be 5.10.

I'm sorry but this doesn't translate in any way to the real world, and is completely debunked by walking down any high street and witnessing literally millions of shorter men of all ages who are married or have girlfriends.

If this is what you think, why are your algorithms showing you tonnes of articles and why were you nosing around your DP's MN account?

In fact, why start the thread at all if your height doesn't bother you?

It depends on what each individual finds physically attractive. I’m fairly tall and am attracted to men who are taller than me. There’s lots of other things I find attractive as well.

It’s over exaggerated online. Yes lots of women like a tall man. No that doesn’t mean they won’t date or marry them if they find a short man who they like.

A few women will just like some men wouldn’t date women bigger than a size 10 or with small breasts. The majority are swayed by personality.

You only have to use your eyes, average height men don't seem to have any problem finding partners in real life. I am a slightly taller woman than average, my husband is shorter than average, but is slightly taller than me, I definitely find him attractive 😊

Each of my boyfriends has been shorter than the last, gradually going from 6'2" to 5'8".

I think this is one of the things that's sad about online dating - that people will rule out a whole group of people who are slightly below their ideal height, or slightly above their ideal age, or whatever, when they might have been attracted to some of those people if they'd met them naturally even though they weren't their general "type".

Before anyone jumps on me I'm not saying anyone should date people they don't fancy out of pity! Just that when you meet people naturally you don't subconsciously apply all the same "filters" you might online.

I like a man to be taller than me, that's one of the attributes I find attractive. So if I was 5'3" like your dw then happy days.......but im 5'8".

I don't think short men per se are unattractive, but I personally wouldn't want to be with a man shorter than me (5'7"). It's simply a personal preference and I happen to find tallness an attractive feature on a man. There are loads of handsome, sexy short men, I just feel imbalanced next to them.

Well a quick google of "online stats for dating height filter" gives the following response :

"Data shows that nearly half of women on apps like Bumble and Tinder set their height filter to 6 feet or taller. However, only about 14.5% of men in Western populations reach 6 feet, and just 3.9% stand at 6'2" or taller, meaning strict filters automatically exclude roughly 85% to 86% of potential male matches."

The stats are the stats.

If you are having lots of relationships without using online dating then you probably don't see or experience this filter.

Personally I think it is silly to pay for a dating app and then be so exclusive, because you are likely to end up disappointed unless you match up well to the best of them.

This probably explains the number of posts where people are "disappointed" because there are no good men on dating sites. Probably because they are all being filtered out and the ones that remain can be very choosy or behave somewhat badly due to them having their pick.

However the good news is that 14.5% probably increases somewhat when you add in the amount of men that lie themselves over 6ft.

Online dating also skews massively male which means there are more men trying to contact the women there and many of them contact multiple women. Which means any woman using it is likely to resort to quick strategies to select people and by it's very nature the only sporting method available is primarily shallow features (height etc).

Basically when given the opportunity to choose potential partners based only on superficial criteria women make selections on superficial criteria. Height happens to be an easy superficial criteria to use.

In the real world very few people care. But for those for whom it is a deal breaker that's also OK.

That’s the thing with online dating, physical attraction is so much more upfront. I’m 5’7” and have dated men from my own height through to 6’4”, as I’d be attracted to personality and presence first and foremost. DH is 6’2” and I do like him being tall, but that’s not what attracted me to him, he makes me laugh hysterically which isn’t picked up on a online profile. Dating must be so hard now.

I don’t care and I’m a taller woman. I dated a guy an inch shorter once with smaller feet than me! Really don’t care about height and never bought into the whole must be 6 foot as if that makes a guy some sort of automatic Adonis.

I know a lot of women that have height preferences and can be quite weird about it. My husband is short (we are both about 5’ 3) and it doesn’t bother me but I’ve had some people feel the need to point it out.

But yes in reality, it might be harder to date if you’re short but height is just one factor amongst many that might make you more or less attractive to potential partners. It is definitely overblown though as some women don’t care and I think being slightly below average like you will have less of an impact than being very short.

Also a surprising number of women I know who have in the past vocally preferred tall men end up with an average height/short partner because they actually prioritise other qualities. One of my friends was very rude about short guys when we were younger but she left her 6 foot 2 fiancée for a much shorter guy.

I'm 1.7m myself (sorry, don't do imperial) and I like guys slightly taller than myself. I don't find height a massive issue though but would not date someone much shorter / taller than myself - eqislly would not find someone 2m tall or 1.5m tall very attractive.

I'm a 5'8" male & my wife would definitely prefer me if i were 5'11" ish. But to her height isn't the main thing, it's my looks, personality & sense of humour that disappoint her most.

I don't find short men attractive at all.