Is concern about shorter men’s attractiveness mainly an online exaggeration? In my experience it is

[KJ311]

Have only quite recently found out about this, probably in about the last year or so, but after having a nose on other halfs mn account and seeing a few height related threads, nearly all featuring at least a few women being quite vocal about not finding shorter men attractive [definitely not all women but quite a few], as well as seeing a few other social media platforms featuring content relating to shorter men being undesirable, left me feeling very perplexed. For the record I am male, 33, 5'7'' [maybe hovering around 5'8'', haven't checked my height in a while but around 5 7/5 8]so not drastically short but definitely nowhere near what could be called tall, and have never once experienced "heightism" in my day to day life, I have been in 4 relationships over the years and have never struggled at all with dating, including during my teenage years when girls are usually at there most superficial, and no one has ever even mentioned my height. My current partner, soon to be mother of my first child is 5'3''.

Just recently when looking online I have seen literally tons of online articles and social media, as well as threads with comments [including on here!] basically painting the picture that if your a shorter man your pretty much going to struggle immensely with being found attractive, I'm sorry but this doesn't translate in any way to the real world, and is completely debunked by walking down any high street and witnessing literally millions of shorter men of all ages who are married or have girlfriends. To me it just seems to be one of those weird online things thats heavily exaggerated [not completely untrue but definitely exaggerated], just wondered if anyone else noticed the same?

This made me laugh!

Love this! 🤣🤣

Of course shorter men get dates. You know this from experience. However I think its fair to say if you had an identical twin who was 6' 2" he'd have more initial interest, because there is a pattern of women seeing taller men as more attractive.
But so what? Most of us would be considered more attractive if we were thinner, fatter, curvier, bigger or smaller busted, younger, had longer legs or better hair or whatever other thing takes us closer to the societal ideal.
But that's tough isn't it? We are who we are, mostly just ordinary and we tend to date people who are the same, and if we're lucky they think we're their ideal.

I'm 5 foot 8 and will not wear flats.
I recently had a relationship with a man who was 5 foot 5.
It didn't bother me at all and the fact that it didn't bother him was a massive turn on for me. He was so confident, I loved it.
I'm mourning his absence from my life, but that's a different thread.

I just want one taller than me, so i don't feel like the Amazonian I was made to feel in school. I'm 5'9.

I thought DS would be tall, but it looks like i might be the only mum on mn whose older teenage son is the same height as me and not a strapping 6 footer with hollow legs.

I’m 5ft 2 and don’t find short men attractive (sorry). I am only attracted to men 6ft tall and over. I probably commented on one of the threads you mentioned and got some abuse over it. You can’t help what you’re attracted to.

My mid-20s DD’s boyfriend is 5 foot 4. And one of my best male friends is happily married to a woman much taller than him. He’s 5 foot.

I have some short men in my family who are happily married (shorter than 5ft 7). i just want taller than me but I’m 5ft 2 so 5ft 10 DH looks like a giant to me.

It’s an on-line thing imo, women are a lot more flexible about this stuff than men think and on-line discourse suggests. Women will love men who appear to be potatoes, so the idea that no woman wants a man under 6ft is bollocks.

Seems to be largely a Mumsnet thing, but then so many posters do seem to have a husband who is 6 ft 3 and sons who are 6 ft 5 or taller... Also tall daughters, Usually at least 5 ft 9. (Often mistaken for models.) 🙄

In real life, most women don't give a shit about having a tall man. Most will prefer a man who is a minimum of 2-3" taller than them, but they don't need to be 6 ft 4!

My grandfather was 5 ft 5, and was never short of female attention. Ditto my great uncle. 5 ft 6 and always had a gorgeous woman on his arm - he was married 4 times. All gorgeous women!!!

.

My DP is tiny, shorter than me who is average for a woman. He has found it a hindrance in his love life all his life, and my friends haven't always been polite about it, finding it very odd that I'm happy with someone shorter than me.

It's your algorithms.

My late love was 5’4, I’m 5’5. Was never a problem, I adored him for the wonderful man he was and how well he treated me, it just worked. My ex was 6’ and he definitely loomed over me and not in a good way, he also treated me very badly. Height isn’t a consideration for me, personality is.

Bring back the laugh emoji!

It's because it doesn't make much sense once you really start to think about it.

Most people can only tell whether someone is short, medium or tall and only gauge it to a couple of inches of accuracy. So why exclude someone who is 5 ft 10 over a 6ft filter ?

Unless the first thing they do on meeting someone is get the tape measure/laser rangefinder out.

Or is it something to do with the fact that time can be spent with someone, they are good looking, good job and wealthy, funny and entertaining and caring, but the minute it's found out they are 5 ft 11.5 they are off the list ?

Are shoes included in the 6ft ? How about a big bushy hair do, hat or horrendous verrucas that bumps them up over the hard limit ?

I get that people have preferences, but the arbitrary 6ft limit, seems, well, pretty arbitrary to me. Which is why people struggle to understand it.

Preferences for short, medium or tall, or "a couple of inches taller than me" I have much less of a problem understanding.

I don’t find short men attractive. Just like I don’t find really muscular men attractive. I’m 5’9 and a fairly curvy woman. I’ve dated a few shorter smaller bodied men over the years and it just wasn’t a turn on, sorry!

But equally, I wouldn’t expect all men to find my height and body type attractive either. Lots of men like small women. That’s fine. Fortunately, I met Dh who happens to be 6’5 and like a tall curvy woman. There is something out there for everyone as long as you aren’t a jerk.

It's often not that a man is short but that he's lied about his height.

Ah I wonder if this is something that dating apps have skewed. When I met dh 20+ years ago I fell for the whole package, I couldn’t have picked out one single thing that I found most attractive about him, it was everything altogether. As it happens he’s 4 inches taller than me so he’s 5’11. I think dating apps probably have parameters for everything these days in a bid to find ‘the perfect person’ but it’s all physical/material/looks based stats. Feels so shallow for people to decide to bin someone off because they’re an inch shorter than they wanted. It’s something that shouldn’t really be a shopping list but now is.
i find it really sad!
I mostly get to hear about dating apps from younger people in my office, I must say I find the whole things completely fascinating and more than a bit depressing!

I don’t think I have a height preference and at 5’3” that has still meant every man I have ever dated has been taller than me, but I would say I’ve been on dates with people ranging from about 5’5”-6’3”. When I went on dating apps I did, however, put in a lower threshold of 5’5” as truth be told I didn’t want to date a man shorter than me. the irony I suppose is that I ended up with a 6’2” husband despite not being in the slightest bit bothered about his height, I am now surrounded by giant children and will be by far the shortest in the family when they’re all fully grown but I still don’t see it or feel small. My mother, however, actively avoided dating tall men and said she hated it as it made her feel small. People feel differently about their own and their partner’s heights.

Really I think at your height you’re only slightly shorter than the UK average and well within average for many countries, so aren’t what I would deem short.

We're a tall family and I've never been out with anyone under 6ft. My Dad who is 90 is still 6ft 3" and I guess that is what I'm used to.

I would not be physically attracted to a bloke of 5ft 7". That's simply my personal preference in the same way that lots of men are not attracted to, say, size 20 women.

Each to their own.

I just don’t get the need to start a thread looking for reassurance. Your height isn’t going to change, you get dates, it’s fine.

christ, I gained weight, got up to an 18, now back to an 8, yes more men appear to find me more attractive slim than fat. My hair is now long, it used to be short, more men find long hair attractive.

more men seem to like big boobs than small ones. But they like them on a slim body, not a fat one.

women all like different things, tall men, muscly men, skinny men, big men, hairy men, pretty men, bearded men, who cares.

If it's any comfort, I'm 5'8 slim, long dark hair, great norks but still single🙄

my 6ft tall female friend has had so much grief from shorter men in real like that she filters them out on dating apps rather than deal with them online. She also finds it ridiculous that men say that their shorter height doesn’t bother them when so many (in her words) would rather bite off their own arms than date a taller woman.

My ex was shorter than me by about half an inch (I'm 5'8). He's never been single longer than a few months. All of his relationships have lasted years. He's also tiny as in small boned, no muscle tone, and doesn't have a problem finding someone. AND he's a narcissistic dick which says a lot. 😂

I actually only really fancy men who are shorter, to be honest. Im a short arse and I cant physically work with men over 6ft. Makes me feel like a child when they are too tall.

It’s online nonsense mostly, men your height have no problem getting girlfriends, you just need to look around you!
I will admit my “type” is for tall men and my DH is 6” but I have dated men who were average height before because I am attracted to more than just height. Also my type is usually dark hair but my DH is blonde so obviously we can be flexible!
I wouldn’t class 5’8” as particularly short either,
i’m only 5’4” though.
The shortest man I know is only about 5’2” (he had a medical condition that affected his growth as a child), he is happily married to a woman slightly taller than him.