Is concern about shorter men’s attractiveness mainly an online exaggeration? In my experience it is

[KJ311]

Have only quite recently found out about this, probably in about the last year or so, but after having a nose on other halfs mn account and seeing a few height related threads, nearly all featuring at least a few women being quite vocal about not finding shorter men attractive [definitely not all women but quite a few], as well as seeing a few other social media platforms featuring content relating to shorter men being undesirable, left me feeling very perplexed. For the record I am male, 33, 5'7'' [maybe hovering around 5'8'', haven't checked my height in a while but around 5 7/5 8]so not drastically short but definitely nowhere near what could be called tall, and have never once experienced "heightism" in my day to day life, I have been in 4 relationships over the years and have never struggled at all with dating, including during my teenage years when girls are usually at there most superficial, and no one has ever even mentioned my height. My current partner, soon to be mother of my first child is 5'3''.

Just recently when looking online I have seen literally tons of online articles and social media, as well as threads with comments [including on here!] basically painting the picture that if your a shorter man your pretty much going to struggle immensely with being found attractive, I'm sorry but this doesn't translate in any way to the real world, and is completely debunked by walking down any high street and witnessing literally millions of shorter men of all ages who are married or have girlfriends. To me it just seems to be one of those weird online things thats heavily exaggerated [not completely untrue but definitely exaggerated], just wondered if anyone else noticed the same?

In my experience, the short men who really struggle, aren’t just short. They also tend to be arseholes, or misogynistic, or entitled(normally to have a very attractive girlfriend) and so on.

I'm taller than my husband (as are all our adult children), it's not been an issue in over 25 years. He wasn't exactly stuck for female company before he met me, either. To be honest, I think it's about the person, not the height. If you've got a complex (or in the opposite direction, arrogance) about your height, it shows and is an immediate turn-off for potential partners.

I can look at short men and think they look fit but I would never date a short man. However, I’m very aware a lot men (short and tall) wouldn’t date me as I’m almost 6’ tall. It’s a personal preference.

I just don’t get the need to start a thread looking for reassurance. Your height isn’t going to change, you get dates, it’s fine.

Yes, he seems almost annoyed that there are women who don't date short men.

Mine is 5' 9", two inches taller than me. If a man is too tall, things don't, ahem, line up in the best ways, so he's just right 😁

My DH is ten inches taller than me. We have never had a problem with anything not lining up. Ever.

You don't have to be tall, just not short.

My dh is 5ft 11 3/4 inch. I joke that he's not quite 6ft tall.

My boyfriend before him told me he was 6ft 3.
I spoke to him recently and it transpires he is only 6ft 2.

Im considering suing him.

I'm not quite 5ft 2, but I'm a woman and there's no such thing as short woman syndrome.

Its fine, i'm not worrying, as I said I have never had any reason to worry about this which is why this online height subject confuses me.

Everyone has different things they find attractive, I think the whole thing of women having a general preference for taller is men is common, however I think those who have it as a 100% dealbreaker and would never be attracted to a man who wasn't above average height regardless of any other positive qualities are nothing like as common as the internet makes it sound and are far more of a minority, I'm not saying they don't exist, but social media makes this sound far more commonplace than it is in reality

I wouldn't like to date a man smaller than me, I wouldn't find them as attractive.

As a short arse though I'm not ruling out very many 😂.

Because It made me curious due to never experiencing it, so decided to see what others thought and whether it was just me due to never having experienced it. Being curious about it doesn't automatically mean i'm insecure about my own height

Its quite common. Seemingly not enough that some women will date them. Have to keep going on and on about the ones that won't. Very entitled and resent not being able to have their pick of any woman they could possibly want.

DH is 5'7". I've never thought about his height, he is who he is and who I fell in love with. We've been together 32 years. I'm 5'3".

Every man is tall when he is standing on his wallet. Bernie Ecclestone springs to mind.

In theory I wouldn’t be keen on a man being shorter than me, but in practice that means that 5’6 is tall enough!

I probably should have mentioned that I can't speak for shorter heights than my own as I can only go by my own experience, only my own height and thereabouts but at that height [5'4] I don't think it would be impossible, it would just take longer. I can definitely say that no man is single purely for being 5'7'', if they are they have other problems aside from height

I think it's an exaggeration. Lots of women are under 5ft 5 or even under 5ft 3, (like me) so even a slightly below-average guy towers over us.

I can imagine some women might not be attracted to a guy who is under, say, 5ft 5, maybe they'd worry about having very short sons and that being difficult, but I honestly don't think women find men who are 5ft 7 'short'

I've been attracted to a guy who was shorter than me, so it does happen!

Dating apps do rather skew things - not every woman is on them so they don't represent 'THE female view'; just the view of women on dating apps.

Nah, lots of men are still very short even then.

Well, we all know some men don't know how to measure properly and will add inches on here and there 😉 Hence, women set their online preferences higher to allow for the inaccuracies.

100% This is where my main problem with it lies

You and me both !
I'm 5'2" and have dated men that are as short as 5'. I never liked a guy too much taller than me because I would feel intimidated.

I'm from a family of shortarses (I'm short myself); my brother, dad and uncles are all no taller than 5'8". (Possibly) as a consequence of this, I'm very attracted to taller men. Short men remind me of my family, in the same way that I'm a bit turned off by northern accents - I live further south now, so northern accents immediately strike a "family" note for me. I honestly don't think it's something to overthink. I think what I'm trying to say is that "shortism" isn't always a toxic trait!

Not even the women on the apps to be fair

Literally if you asked people to choose anything based only on superficial information then their choices would be based purely on superficial information. Likewise apps that present men and women with superficial information on possible partners lead to men and women choosing who to speak to based on superficial information. I hate how the "stats" from dating apps are presented as some sort of groundbreaking truth about men/women.

If I gave you a choice of books but you weren't allowed to know the title or contents, just the cover you would pick based on the books cover. It doesn't prove you are a shallow person who judges books by their cover.

I don't understand why so many men get so stressed by this. I'm a well padded woman with small boobs and a big bum. I'm not attractive to every man, some men like slim willowy women or big boobs. That's fine. Some women like taller men, that's also fine. It's by no means universal, or even very common. I've shagged, dated and even married a lot of short arse men. It's never even been a consideration for me.

5’7” would be a giant in my family!

I wouldn’t really want to date a guy much shorter than me but at 5’ 2” that’s unlikely. Have dated several men around the 5’2”-5’4” range. It’s not a problem. Their height hasn’t affected their personalities or anything in the bedroom department.

I do think this emphasis on height is very sad for shorter men.

My husband is 5’5. We have been together for 17 years. Before I met him I probably had ‘at least 6ft’ on my wish list but after meeting him couldn’t care whether he was 2ft or 12ft, we hit it off immediately and it’s never even been an issue. I am also 5’5 so we are the perfect heights for kisses.

Look at Tom Holland and Zendaya. That's a man who excudes confidence, and benign masculinity. His wife is a stunning and talented woman who is taller than him and it seems he has never given it a thought!