Is concern about shorter men’s attractiveness mainly an online exaggeration? In my experience it is

[KJ311]

Have only quite recently found out about this, probably in about the last year or so, but after having a nose on other halfs mn account and seeing a few height related threads, nearly all featuring at least a few women being quite vocal about not finding shorter men attractive [definitely not all women but quite a few], as well as seeing a few other social media platforms featuring content relating to shorter men being undesirable, left me feeling very perplexed. For the record I am male, 33, 5'7'' [maybe hovering around 5'8'', haven't checked my height in a while but around 5 7/5 8]so not drastically short but definitely nowhere near what could be called tall, and have never once experienced "heightism" in my day to day life, I have been in 4 relationships over the years and have never struggled at all with dating, including during my teenage years when girls are usually at there most superficial, and no one has ever even mentioned my height. My current partner, soon to be mother of my first child is 5'3''.

Just recently when looking online I have seen literally tons of online articles and social media, as well as threads with comments [including on here!] basically painting the picture that if your a shorter man your pretty much going to struggle immensely with being found attractive, I'm sorry but this doesn't translate in any way to the real world, and is completely debunked by walking down any high street and witnessing literally millions of shorter men of all ages who are married or have girlfriends. To me it just seems to be one of those weird online things thats heavily exaggerated [not completely untrue but definitely exaggerated], just wondered if anyone else noticed the same?

Everyone is taller than me, im 4f11in.
Could not care about it either, and i dont care how short a man is as long as he`s nice polite, caring respectful.

Yes, most threads I have across including this one also feature a decent amount of women who either don't care or prefer to date someone closer to there own height, in my real world experience most I've come across are open and are willing to date outside of there preference if they like someone enough, thats just my experience

The stereotype of women who go on about height/wage/men having to pay for the date/their kid's babysitter/their nails might be true, for a minority of women who spend too much time on dating apps, just like there are some men who won't date a woman over 5'4, with breasts less than an F, or a dress size over 12.

When my kids are old enough to date, I hope they stay away from wither of these superficial types, and remember the majority of people are decent.

Some of my friends have partners your height, and some have broken up with very tall men because they disliked the height disparity (the average height of a woman is only 5'3 or 5'4, depending if you're talking UK or the world).

Other things matter far more to MOST women, and the kind that obsess over height are not worth dating, anyway.

i have dated 3 men who were shorter than me and all 3 had an issue despite me being honest about being 5ft 10 tall before meeting them. they all started off saying it wasnt an issue but then all started either complaining, controlling or saying shorter women were better.

we all have things we can chamge about ourselves and height isnt in my top 5 list as long as its not an issue for them.

I’m a short woman (5’) and while attracted to taller men than me (universally, most men), sometimes tall people don’t see things the way we do. Standing at gigs, hiking, crossing a road - they just don’t get it.

There are some very tall men at my work and I always feel a little uncomfortable having to look up when I speak to them tbh. It makes me feel a bit childlike, even though I’m average height for a woman. I think if I was dating a very tall man I would feel the need to wear heals a lot more.

I'm below average height for a woman but there's no such thing as short woman syndrome.
I'm just under 5ft 2.
In spite of my dh being fractionally under 6ft, and an ex 6ft 2, the most attractive man I knew was 5ft 9.

You're not that short, anyway, OP.
Just under medium height I'd say.

To be honest if you're not getting the women you really desire-why start this thread otherwise? - it's probably because you're the sort of guy who starts threads about it his height on mumsnet.

To be frank I find that off putting.

Why do you have a problem with it?
You're not trying to date online are you?

I disagree that height always matters in a man but then again as a short woman almost every man is taller than me. So 5ft 7 is tall enough.

I understand that some women are much taller than me, though, maybe the man they want is 6ft.

Why do you think you've a right to control their preferences?

My DS is shorter than you OP. In his teens he was obsessed that this would be an issue. Me and one of his best friends spent a long time convincing him that plenty of women don't care about height. But they do like confidence, wit and talent. As soon as he truly believed us, he got dates and hasn't had any problems since. He's dated much taller women and is currently dating a woman a bit smaller than him.
So yes, I agree. It's one of those preferences that has been turned into an issue when it isn't one.

Exactly. Yet there are regular threads on here bemoaning that short men can't, because some women prefer tall men. Is this exaggerated on SM as a thing? Probably.
Popular culture always tends to go with patterns, even slight ones and extrapolate from that. Hence women have had to contend with 'gentlemen prefer blondes', 'the perfect 10', 'men prefer curvy women', 'surveys show women's attractiveness peaks at 23', 'men are genetically attracted to tiny waists and wide hips' and on and on with subsequent requirements frequently contradicting themselves.
Most of us learn to take no notice and judge our ability to attract the opposite sex from our own experience in the field.
To start a thread seeking affirmation that the short men thing isn't true smacks of insecurity and a desire for reassurance that no, no, there aren't women out there you couldn't have if you wanted. When obviously, there are.
However as a man, the bar for your appearance is a great deal lower than for ours. If you're a decent guy who treats women well, averagely easy on the eye, and not a complete half wit, you will have much advantage over the competition, height notwithstanding.

Yeah I don’t really care tbh and it’s only a handful of people who think like that. But I find it weird that people kind of project their own height preferences onto others so it’s not just that they don’t find short men attractive but they almost think nobody should…

Just to add, when I was 17/18 I dated a guy who was 6'2 and to be honest I was dating him DESPITE his height because I loved so many other things about him. He was too tall! I'm 5'5 so not especially short, but it's really awkward trying to kiss a bloke who's that tall and I always had a crick in the neck from looking up at him. Just not practical, I didn't like it.

It all comes down to personal preference, doesn't it? Physical attraction is subjective, and everyone is entitled to their own tastes. I also don't think this is something that can be blamed solely on social media, as it's been around for generations. I can remember my nan talking about women wanting a man who was "tall, dark and handsome", and there was always the stereotype that all men preferred busty blondes.
Preferences and ideals have always existed in one form or another. At the end of the day, there's someone out there for everyone.

Not at all, the reason I started this thread which some people seem to be having a hard time understanding was that it was pure curiosity through never having experienced this in real life and only recently realising this existed online, so was seeing if anyone else has noticed the same thing

I can 100% guarantee I have been highly attracted to every girl/woman I have ever had a relationship with, physically or personality wise, so very much don't feel I have been getting women I don't really desire, and only shows up how untrue this whole thing men who aren't tall not being able to attract women they like is, which you obviously agree with due to the height of the man you were most attracted too

My advice is to step away from the manosphere . That’s why you keep finding random shit that has no basis in reality.

I'm 5 ft 2 and I prefer tall men, my sister the same and my DD. My husband is tall, my Dad was tall - Idk if there's any correlation for women between the male parental height and preferences?

Thats exactly what I was trying to say, but I haven't mentioned at any time that no women should only be attracted to taller men, I can say I don't understand it which isn't the same as saying "I don't think women have any right to only be attracted to taller men", mainly because I don't understand rigid dating preferences generally, especially based around one physical trait, height or otherwise, probably due to the fact I'm attracted to quite a diverse range of women. To be fair in some instances I can understand it, for example I can understand tall women only wanting to date someone tall due to wanting someone taller than them, what I don't understand are 5 foot nothing women I have seen [only online interestingly] only wanting to date much taller than average men, and saying that average height men who tower over them are "too short". They have every right to have that preference, but I'm allowed to think its ridiculous

Yes I do agree.
As I said though I am short so he was 7 inches taller than me.
It's about perspective.
A man of 5ft 9 is still much taller than me.
Would I feel the same if I was 6ft?
I don't know.

I don't need you to tell me I have a hard time trouble understanding either.

I think it's odd that a man who is attached is even bothered by such things and it strikes me that you are in a very polite but roundabout sort of way suggesting to women what they should be attracted to.

To even start a thread like this smacks of lack of self belief.

Why would women notice what other women's height requirements about a man are on dating sites anyway? 😕

It's very much massage my ego isn't it.

My mum is 5ft1 and my grandfather, her dad who she didn't have a good relationship with was tall, my dad and her ex husband were both average height and slightly below, she prefers smaller men as she finds very tall men imposing, I think relationships with parents can influence preferences

@KJ311 “They have every right to have that preference, but I'm allowed to think it’s ridiculous.”

I don’t think it’s ridiculous to have a preference. I wouldn’t date a short man or a bald or fat man. I’m not physically attracted to them.

That's interesting about your Mum. I agree parental relationships too can influence prefences....

I think it's great that a man is here calling women ridiculous for our preferences.

Wonderful.

@KJ311 “she prefers smaller men as she finds very tall men imposing,”

Some ‘short’ men are angry and aggressive (often due to their lack of height.).

I was actually referring to some previous posters who's replies were less polite than yours when I mentioned people not understanding my reason for posting, not so much you but never mind..

Yes, its about perspective which is why most of the women I have dated and had relationships with have been shorter than average to about average, shortest was about 5'0'', tallest was 5'5''.

In a polite and roundabout way to you, I think you and some others have read far too much into my motif for posting, I am allowed to be curious about something I have seen and wondering why it doesn't translate into reality, and asking if anyone has noticed the same thing, and no I'm very much telling women what they should be attracted too, not personally understanding why someone would have such a rigid preference about something is a completely different thing to telling people what they should be attracted too.

And no I certainly don't have lack of self belief, the fact that I have managed to be so successful for a long time in being able to have relationships [having to make that sound like I'm blowing my trumpet there], has given me enough confidence to have self belief.

How dare women not want to date ‘short’ men! How ridiculous of us!!