Is concern about shorter men’s attractiveness mainly an online exaggeration? In my experience it is

[KJ311]

Have only quite recently found out about this, probably in about the last year or so, but after having a nose on other halfs mn account and seeing a few height related threads, nearly all featuring at least a few women being quite vocal about not finding shorter men attractive [definitely not all women but quite a few], as well as seeing a few other social media platforms featuring content relating to shorter men being undesirable, left me feeling very perplexed. For the record I am male, 33, 5'7'' [maybe hovering around 5'8'', haven't checked my height in a while but around 5 7/5 8]so not drastically short but definitely nowhere near what could be called tall, and have never once experienced "heightism" in my day to day life, I have been in 4 relationships over the years and have never struggled at all with dating, including during my teenage years when girls are usually at there most superficial, and no one has ever even mentioned my height. My current partner, soon to be mother of my first child is 5'3''.

Just recently when looking online I have seen literally tons of online articles and social media, as well as threads with comments [including on here!] basically painting the picture that if your a shorter man your pretty much going to struggle immensely with being found attractive, I'm sorry but this doesn't translate in any way to the real world, and is completely debunked by walking down any high street and witnessing literally millions of shorter men of all ages who are married or have girlfriends. To me it just seems to be one of those weird online things thats heavily exaggerated [not completely untrue but definitely exaggerated], just wondered if anyone else noticed the same?

All the short men I know are married (they married very young actually, do you think they locked those women down before they could change their mind?! I jest).

It’s something I do worry with my sons, I’m 5’5, DH is 5’11, our eldest has been slow to puberty but he’s just got to 5’6 by his 16th, I’m really hoping he’s got another growth spurt in him! I have a very good male friend who is about the same height as me and despite being happily settled down I can tell how much it has shaped his life and every thought.

I’ve never been attracted to a short man, but I’d like to think that’s more to do with not meeting an attractive enough short man as opposed to my own shallowness…I do find tall, muscular men attractive though, I love how DH feels next to me. No I am sure I’m not every man’s cup of tea either!

Each to their own but for me personally I’ve never been attracted to anyone who has not been taller than me, Im 5”7 and in all honesty I’ve just never been drawn to a small man.I find height and broadness really appealing.

I’m 5’3”, DP is probably 5’5”-6” and if given the opportunity, No, I would not want to scale him up.

I love being able to look into his eyes or rest my head on his shoulder, when we cuddle up we fit together from head to toe perfectly. I feel completely safe, knowing that he would always stick up for me so I can’t see any downside to having a ‘short’ DP. Added bonus we can share a car and not have to constantly adjust the seat to fit whoever is driving!

I prefer shorter men, definitely under 5’11’. Around 5’7-5’8 is perfect for me.

At 5ft 7/8 you aren't especially short, just lower end of medium height, so I wouldn't expect you to have had negative experiences. I think properly short for a man is 5ft 5' and under. At that point I think a number of women would not like the lack of height. But there'd still be plenty that would! I'm 5ft 3 and I do love tall men, but would consider someone from 5ft 8 upwards if they were attractive.

DH is 5ft 8 and feels he's short, but I don't imagine most women would think that. No men on either side are over 5ft 8 or 9 so DS will never be a 6 footer but I don't think any woman is going to consider him super short.

My husband is 5’9. He’s the shortest adult man we know. He’d love to be taller. I’d like him to be taller if I am completely honest as we’re about the same height.

Thankfully, our sons are both well over 6 foot. It shouldn’t matter, but it does.

My dp is the same height as me on a good day. On a bad day he's half an inch shorter! We're 5ft 5". I don't mind his height or lack of, at all. So so cute and cuddly! 😍😛

I'm just below 5ft 6 and wouldn't date anyone my height or below. Been there done that. In fact as a reverse of some one else on the thread, my boyfriends got taller.

DH told me he was 6ft when we started dating. I didn't hold a tape up to him- and didn't care, but turns out he's 5ft 11. Both our DDs are taller than me now, as are all my parents and bro. I'm the shortest!

I like a tall man, DH is 6’4 and long term ex was 6’2, and the general trend in the men I’ve dated or fancied is that they’ve been 6ft+ - a good bit taller than me (5’6)

There’s lots of other features/ qualities I find attractive though, I have dated a few people shorter than me and the guy I probably fancied the most and had the most insane chemistry with was my height, the fact that relationship didn’t last was more that he was a complete bloody psychopath (albeit a gorgeous, charming one) and nothing to do with his stature.

I’m around average height for a woman (5ft5), and prefer men who are average height for a man (around 5ft10). I wouldn’t like to date someone shorter than me, but equally, I’m not keen on men who are too tall either. I find that tall men often have an elongated head, which makes them less attractive to me personally.

I think a lot of women base their height preferences on their own height.

I was about 3 inches taller than my late husband. Never a problem.

I know a few tall women with shorter husbands.
I know many woman who thought they had a height preference but this was overshadowed by other considerations.
My husband is 5ft 8 and has always been very popular with woman.

Sorry to hear that about you and your husband, people can be very rude about certain things and make back handed comments about certain things, I've had this too but I'm extremely thick skinned now fortunately

Yes I was kind of in the same position as your friend, my partners ex was 6'1'', she actually later said at one point that she did have a general preference for taller men before I was with her but we got on very well and have lots of interests in common which makes an enormous difference. I don't care what anyone says, having good vibes and chemistry with someone can completely transform how someone views you, regardless of physical characteristics

Fair enough but lots of women do too, more than the internet makes it sound like

Lol!

Why have you been on your partners MN actively seeking threads out about short men - no they don’t pop up regularly - you’ve actually looked for them. Then googled

😂😂😂

So I have had a couple of guy friends say they struggle to get matches on dating apps as they say they are below 5ft10

Baffles me. My DH is 5ft6. I’ve dated all heights (tallest boyfriend was 6ft3). Feels more practical being closer in height… I’m 5ft6 too. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences and likes what they like. but for me it’s really so many factors that make a man attractive or not - not just how close he is to the ceiling

Yes its the initial attraction for the most part where tall men have an advantage but you can definitely compensate with other traits as a shorter man. I was meaning that the online world makes it look like being shorter as a man is basically a death sentence where attraction is concerned, which just isn't the case and I think is quite a dangerous message to spread to the younger male generation in particular. Like you say, no one fits the societal ideal 100% and its another example of unobtainable beauty standards which used to mainly apply to girls/women and is now being applied to men as well, which is why I hate social media

I've no problem with anyone dating whoever they want, the point of my post was that I was confused as to where what I read in these posts comes from as I have nearly never come across this in real life, only online [nearly all my previous gfs have floated around your height]. I'm curious when I read these things as to how someone your height would see someone as 5'8'' or 5'9 as short as that's still several inches taller than you so a very noticeable height difference but your entitled to your own preference just as anyone else is

I wasn't looking for reassurance, it was curiosity as to where this thing about mens height comes from as I have found it mainly online, and rarely in the real world, unless I've just been unusually lucky

No not annoyed at all, I have no reason to be, in fact anyone who actually knows me knows I very rarely get annoyed about anything lol. Like I say, I was very curious as to where this thing about height comes from, I've never come across it in real life, so wondered if anyone else had noticed it just online too

No man can pick any woman he wants, whether he's 5'0'' or 6'0'', and that wasn't the reason for my post at all which I explained in a previous response to someone

There must be biological and evolutionary reasons why certain characteristics are attractive in other people. Taller men would probably be perceived as stronger and therefore more useful in ancient times when tribes needed defending for example. And although of course that is not relevant today it may be a pre programmed preference if that makes sense. Im 5ft7 and have never been out with any man below 6ft and just wouldn't but as this thread has shown that there are a huge variety of opinions on the height debate and to lots of women it's not even a consideration

Have mentioned it a few times already but out of curiosity I looked because I was perplexed as to why this came up so often as I couldn't relate to it at all, and yes there are lots of threads relating to height [mainly under dating/relationships], just not all of them are recent. Why would I have reason to be paranoid about height when I have personal evidence that i've never been affected by it and have managed to have plenty of relationships with women I have been attracted too, lol