A relative has been told she needs an operation. It’s nothing life threatening but she is having some symptoms including pain and has been told she will probably need to wait about 10 months, possibly longer, for the op.
She has seen a specialist privately who agrees she needs the operation and it could be done in 3-4 weeks.
She has approached my partner to ask if we could lend her the money. My partner said no but she has asked him to think about it, talk to me and has suggested an amount she could pay back each month. Based on the estimated amount for the op and the amount she can pay back, it would take almost 5 years for us to get the money back. There is also the possibility of it costing more if there are any complications. We can afford it but don’t like lending money to anyone. The last time we lent money to another family member, we only got about half of it back and that was much later than agreed.
What would you do? It’s hard to say no because she is family and we can see she is suffering with symptoms but we also don’t want to lend money. We don’t know if we will get it back and are worried about her needing more. We could say all our money is tied up and we have kids at university which cost a lot so we have reasons we could give. We don’t want things to be awkward but I think they will be now if we say no. We don’t think she would get a loan due to financial issues in the past but she has been stable more recently so maybe she would and we should suggest trying to get one.
My partner is seeing her at the weekend and I’m sure she’ll ask again so we need to decide.