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Original poster

What is the most not ok thing someone has said to you recently?

244 replies

BeMintFatball · 02/05/2026 06:47

Went to see my 91 year old great aunt who I have not seen in person for several years.

Within minutes of arriving aunt told me I look like I have lost weight. I have but only about half a stone not intentionally but also it’s not a drastic amount.

I said I may have lost a bit biting my tongue not to say stress will do that.

Aunt followed up with I thought you had been on the mounjaro jabs. I mean wow! The older generation really shoot from the hip.

OP posts:
MaggieBsBoat · 02/05/2026 06:52

My elderly MIL asked my FIL to take care of his wallet in his back pocket because of the foreigners around. While I stood next to him. I’m a foreigner. (They aren’t Brits btw. I am)

Yodellayhehoo · 02/05/2026 06:56

Standing in the barber shop with my son and told i look like the taliban because of my headscarf. By another customer/friend of the owner hanging out whilst watching owner cut hair.

Another time getting off the bus a man whispered to me i know you dont eat pork but ive heard you like sausages inside you. He was so gross I couldn't get off the bus quick enough.

wrinklycactus · 02/05/2026 06:59

Haha. Constantly the "you've lost weight" comments. I did lose a few stone... about 7 years ago 😅

I got a casual "so are you having any more kids?" from someone I only met for the second time the other day. Took us 5 years of traumatic fertility treatment to conceive our first (and only) who is still a young baby.

Some people!

wrinklycactus · 02/05/2026 07:02

Yodellayhehoo · 02/05/2026 06:56

Standing in the barber shop with my son and told i look like the taliban because of my headscarf. By another customer/friend of the owner hanging out whilst watching owner cut hair.

Another time getting off the bus a man whispered to me i know you dont eat pork but ive heard you like sausages inside you. He was so gross I couldn't get off the bus quick enough.

That's absolutely hideous. I'm sorry you had those comments 😔

TheOnlyOneLeft · 02/05/2026 07:08

I've recently lost 3st. (another 2st to lose) and I am wearing smaller clothes and feel quite pleased. My sister, known for being tactless, said I don't look any different.

JoyLoveJoyInOrbitNsoul · 02/05/2026 08:21

Yodellayhehoo · 02/05/2026 06:56

Standing in the barber shop with my son and told i look like the taliban because of my headscarf. By another customer/friend of the owner hanging out whilst watching owner cut hair.

Another time getting off the bus a man whispered to me i know you dont eat pork but ive heard you like sausages inside you. He was so gross I couldn't get off the bus quick enough.

You've got something they haven't
A brain.

NothingHereAnymore · 02/05/2026 09:00

This was a long time ago but it has just popped into my head.
Someone making a custom made dress for me, obviously has to take my measurements but can see by eye I am a big woman! She asked if I was trying to lose weight, I said no! She said 'oh that's a shame, you would be very beautiful if you lost weight'! 🙄

Original poster
BeMintFatball · 02/05/2026 09:27

@NothingHereAnymore that is the definition of a back handed compliment. As a retired costume maker I hope you never went back to her .

OP posts:
NothingHereAnymore · 02/05/2026 12:32

BeMintFatball · 02/05/2026 09:27

@NothingHereAnymore that is the definition of a back handed compliment. As a retired costume maker I hope you never went back to her .

She had taken my deposit and was half way through the dress so I didn't want to rock the boat at the time! She also said I had a very small bust for a woman of my size! She was a fountain of inappropriate comments 🤣 luckily I am blessed with a thick skin!

Weeelokthen · 02/05/2026 13:17

Yodellayhehoo · 02/05/2026 06:56

Standing in the barber shop with my son and told i look like the taliban because of my headscarf. By another customer/friend of the owner hanging out whilst watching owner cut hair.

Another time getting off the bus a man whispered to me i know you dont eat pork but ive heard you like sausages inside you. He was so gross I couldn't get off the bus quick enough.

😮

Morry15 · 02/05/2026 13:19

Ive mentioned this before. Guy in nightclub asked me how old I was. I told him my age. Said I'd better get on with it if I want to have kids as my eggs are drying up.

I was 25.

Pickledonion1999 · 02/05/2026 13:20

I have a distant relative ( cousins child) who has recently transitioned male to female. We are having a family get together soon and my elderly dad said that if she comes he will just not speak to her at all. There's a few of the older family members who cannot accept it. It's upsetting as this young person has gone through so much turmoil.

plsdontlookatme · 02/05/2026 13:24

Voluble work colleague/higher-up can be a bit snippy if you say something she doesn't find interesting, but overall am having a good run of people not saying horrible things to me (hallelujah for being single)

plsdontlookatme · 02/05/2026 13:25

Pickledonion1999 · 02/05/2026 13:20

I have a distant relative ( cousins child) who has recently transitioned male to female. We are having a family get together soon and my elderly dad said that if she comes he will just not speak to her at all. There's a few of the older family members who cannot accept it. It's upsetting as this young person has gone through so much turmoil.

Edited

This is really sad :( surely you don't have to "agree with trans" or whatever to humanise a younger relative?

mondaytosunday · 02/05/2026 13:29

People say you look like you’ve lost weight as they think it’s a compliment. I mean give the woman a break - my mother would look me up and down and go ‘hmpf’ and then proceed to me that X has lost weight on Y diet’…or look at my hair and squint her eyes and say ‘B just got a nice haircut at C salon’… she thought she was being subtle!
Last week my DD, 20, was waiting at Kings Cross for her train back to uni to come up on the board and a middle aged man came up to her and said ‘you look like you’re from another world’. Nonplussed she replied ‘thank you’, then he said ‘oh it’s not a compliment’ and wandered off! She said she was dressed in normal student type clothes and he looked like a normal guy and she’s still confused.

ItsGooodToTalk · 02/05/2026 13:31

I constantly get told 'you are too skinny' or 'you need to put on weight' by family members who have a BMI of 25+.

Imagine the fallout if I told them 'You are too fat!', 'You need to lose weight!'

Lizziedrip1911 · 02/05/2026 13:31

I have soooo many examples 🤣
I find that there are a lot of people that don't have that filter between the brain and the mouth. (I am also guilty of that on occasion)
Bumped into an elderly neighbour that I usually only see from the shoulders up, over the fence. He told me I looked bonny that day. I had always associated bonny with being pretty, then he added "i always like a woman with a bit more weight on her" 🤦‍♀️
Another...waiting for my daughter and I was just idly looking in a charity shop window. It was close to christmas and there was a sequinned jumpsuit on display. An elderly lady stood close by looked at it looked at me, slowly looked me up and down and said "that would look lovely on you, if you were slim".

Luckily I have skin as thick as rhino hind after working with elderly people and kids for most of my life and both comments really did make me laugh out loud with the complete back handedness of the "compliments".

Torchout · 02/05/2026 13:31

The worst comment I had was from my consultant. You were very poorly when you came in, we're surprised you made it.

BernadetteJune · 02/05/2026 13:43

Trying to lose weight and have lost 'a bit'. I told my friend and I added ".....but I still have a long way to go". She said "Well you have to move a mountain one stone at a time"
Thank you luvvie - I don't think of myself as a mountain but there you go!!!

MrsHaaland · 02/05/2026 13:48

Another weight one, went to visit my 89 year old father in law with my almost 16 year old son. I've lost 11 stone in the last 2 years and he commented on how well I'd done and how well I look and then said 'I'd hate to see you with no clothes on after all that weight loss' in front of my son! I wanted to say why would you even be thinking about that and then say it in front of my son but bit my tongue because he doesn't listen when you stand up to him anyway 🙄

Atoxicsewerofhate · 02/05/2026 13:51

Some of these are horrendous. I don't see anything wrong with what the OP's aunt said to her though!

pinkyredrose · 02/05/2026 13:54

Torchout · 02/05/2026 13:31

The worst comment I had was from my consultant. You were very poorly when you came in, we're surprised you made it.

What's wrong with that?

Ihateboris · 02/05/2026 13:57

I'm child free by choice. I'm sick to death of people telling me I'll never experience true joy and happiness...and that I'll be very lonely in old age. For the record, I do experience joy and happiness without kids

Ihateboris · 02/05/2026 14:04

ItsGooodToTalk · 02/05/2026 13:31

I constantly get told 'you are too skinny' or 'you need to put on weight' by family members who have a BMI of 25+.

Imagine the fallout if I told them 'You are too fat!', 'You need to lose weight!'

I get this too. ...usually from people who are overweight!

CanIbeRio · 02/05/2026 14:05

Went to a curry house we hadn't been to in a while where we used to chat to the manager so were quite friendly with him.

He was pleased to see us and with a beaming smile told dh he was looking well, then turned to me with a bit of a sour face and told me I'd gained weight!

Nearly said yup - the curry house down the road is fantastic - been going there twice a week!! Cheeky bugger!!!