What is the most not ok thing someone has said to you recently?

[BeMintFatball]

Went to see my 91 year old great aunt who I have not seen in person for several years.

Within minutes of arriving aunt told me I look like I have lost weight. I have but only about half a stone not intentionally but also it’s not a drastic amount.

I said I may have lost a bit biting my tongue not to say stress will do that.

Aunt followed up with I thought you had been on the mounjaro jabs. I mean wow! The older generation really shoot from the hip.

Please can you return @CrapGardener and reassure us that he was reported?

This has been a while ago. My in-laws friends discussing the benefits of Brexit. How Britain was finally going get immigration under control as all the immigrants were taking over the UK and it wasn’t the UK anymore. Then looked me straight in the eye and said “obviously not you - you’re a good immigrant”.

Despite a very strong family history of osteoporosis my GP recently told me he didn’t think I needed to be concerned as ‘it mostly affects thin people’.

Years ago, I had an older lady come up to me in the park as I was wrangling my 3 DC (eldest was only 5). She took it upon herself to say "ha it's not so easy looking after 3 is it? You should have thought of that before you decided to become a single mother, people like me are paying your benefits".
I was married and not on benefits but
It taught me a lot about the level of bile that single mothers and people on benefits have to put up with every day.

She is insanely jealous that you look dramatically different. I'm 100% certain 😁

My neighbour only every sees me with out makeup. I was at our local on a first date and I saw them and waved and said hello. They looked confused for a minute before exclaiming "wow. You look so different with make up. Totally different. Like another woman "
My date kept looking at me and seem to lose intrest after that. And I wasn't even wearing a full face with fake eyelashes etc. Just light day wear makeup.

Not recent, a few years ago now actually, but I had one of my (at the time) closest friends tell me she liked going out on nights out with me because I “make her look prettier”.

Doesn't at least one person say this when you're pregnant, though?

Me neither. There are people on MN who think you should never, ever comment on someone's appearance, but in real life people want compliments and this was obviously meant as one.

The worry of having children has taken away most of my happiness.

Why? I am the subordinate to my superiors. I can't stand all this 'working with not for me' bollocks.

When I had my 2nd daughter a friend asked if I was very disappointed it wasn’t a boy! No, I was very happy to have another girl. I had never at any time given anyone a reason to think I wanted a boy.

My mother telling me she loved me until I left home .

I was at a guided tour in a cave.
Group of twenty strangers.
Right at the end when showing us different rock formations with her ultraviolet light, guide starts to focus on people's faces with the light. People amused by their freckles, white pupils etc. when guide suddenly shouts out " Hey you, Mistymaglets, did you sleep well last night?"
Me( flummoxed) Yes, why?
Guide: 'Cos these lights are showing up your massive eye bags, you need to get more sleep "
Me and rest: stunned silence
Guide: Seriously they are enormous!

That's awful. I don't believe anyone can change sex but I'm aware these people are very vulnerable and certainly wouldnt ever be bad mannered and not speak to anyone. I'd just keep the conversation away from trans isssues!

I'm baffled by how much people care about looks and how much this hurts others.

Oh my god, that's disgusting. I am so sorry that someone said something that vile to you. Both things, but especially the second thing.

Back home after an emergency surgery, lost loads of blood and very surprisingly, weight, looking anaemic, a shadow of my former self, getting out of the passenger seat, unsteady on my legs, and a woman neighbour exclaims by way of greeting, 'Gosh, you look absolutely amazing!'. Obviously referring to the weight loss. Some people think that all weight loss is desirable and don't give it a second thought.

The older generations do seem more obsessed with weight in a purely good/bad way, like it’s one of the worst things you can be, this was the attitude of my parents which always struck me as odd because in terms of actual qualities that matter they were both lacking. Neither were kind or honest.

I wonder sometimes if it’s a bit like racism in that it goes hand in hand with a darker personality makeup because the people who I know have said these things are not people full of love and light :)

Bravo! That and fake as shit 'but you ARE family' said to nannies, chauffeurs, domestic staff - aye, right. I wish somebody would say 'oh, wow, does it mean that when you die, the inheritance will be divided equally between your children and me?' Family, my arse.

He was making a concentration camp reference…

I still work there, as does he. The head of our HR department was there when it was said, as was our managers manager and another same level manager. It was reported to head office and outside agencies due to that kind of belief and high levels of racism being common in my workplace. Nothing ever came of it. @Heisrevising i wish I could say he was fired and charged with hate speech but nothing came from it. It wasn’t the last time something similar was said.

I loved my late parents very much and would do anything to have them back, but they did do a nice line in maddening comments sometimes, especially my dad.

My late dad's partner was the worst at those.

I no longer have to deal with exH and his no-filter family.

Plus I work from home.

I've never been so free from hurtful or enraging remarks, and it's wonderful.

Except. yesterday I told my longterm casual lover that Chat GPT guessed my age as being 6-12 years younger than I am, and he was like "REALLY?????" 🤣

In some countries when staff are called families, it's so they can work all hours.

This sounds rude but she is right… the extra weight carried on the skeleton forces the bones to stack on extra density and so they remain stronger as we age. Larger people are also more likely to ingest a sufficient amount of calcium and phosphorus to keep the skeleton strong.