What is the most not ok thing someone has said to you recently?

[BeMintFatball]

Went to see my 91 year old great aunt who I have not seen in person for several years.

Within minutes of arriving aunt told me I look like I have lost weight. I have but only about half a stone not intentionally but also it’s not a drastic amount.

I said I may have lost a bit biting my tongue not to say stress will do that.

Aunt followed up with I thought you had been on the mounjaro jabs. I mean wow! The older generation really shoot from the hip.

@BeMintFatball I don’t see anything wrong with what your 91 year old Aunt said. The older generation often talk about things like people losing weight, eating properly (in a nurturing way as in feeding you) and also the weather! She sounds like she’s totally up with all the latest conversations though by mentioning mountjaro btw!

When my first baby was about 6 months old, my mum told me I was a terrible mother. That's the worst thing anyone has ever said to me.

Edited as I didn't notice the "recently" bit! That was not that recent (though still feels it!) Recently, I was told I needed to get some contraception. I have 3 kids with my DH, and my youngest is 3!!??

The best one for us recently was my MIL telling my 14 year old daughter she was less photogenic than her sister, and doubling down 3 times as I tried to rescue the situation. Eventually I said “Granny doesn’t mean to be as rude as she sounds, darling” which shut her up.

All of that said, while I personally wouldn’t mention someone’s weight loss, I don’t think it’s an especially rude or insulting thing to say because most people want to lose weight! (Especially in that generation where being overweight meant you were greedy and lazy, simple as that.) It’s not in the same league as asking if someone has gained weight.

Was she potentially not English? It sounds like the kind of thing an older German woman would say!

My MIL say that to my teen girl - if my DD said to me she didn’t want to see MIL again, I would absolutely agree and I would also have nothing to do with her.

One thing to be rude to me, quite another to be rude to my daughter

"Do you want the baby to be a boy or a girl? Come on... you must have a preference".

Who in your life told you to get on contraception @ThatEagerScroller ?!

I agree. At 91 I think OP could have given her a break 😆

My nephew asked in front of a group why my bum was so big. I was so shocked I started laughing but he repeated the question and used his hands to illustrate to the party how wide my bum actually is. I know he was just a kid and easily forgiven but I'm still allowed be hurt and mortified. I wish I'd had a witty comeback. To be fair I have a big bum, he isn't wrong.

A little kid who is 4 yrs old stood on a wall recently and shouted 'Fuck off you ugly piece of shit' as I walked past. I thought it was very troubling, he is so young and must he exposed to this type of language somewhere.

Our office cleaner made a very racist comment the other day. She is extremely vulnerable and not very bright (she has learning difficulties) so I explained to her why I thought she was wrong to say what she said, but decided not to take any further action. There was definitely no malicious intent, just ignorance and a tendency to be easily manipulated.

One of the mums at my kids school. I think she was trying to be funny...?

My ex kept asking me if people had told me I looked “well” after a holiday abroad - young and naive me replied yes loads smiling broadly and he said “if people say you’re looking well it means they are saying you’ve put weight on” my whole bubble burst I’d been going around thinking I looked tanned and healthy and he brought me back down to earth with a bump.

“You were alive in 1994”

Said by one of my Gen Z subordinates.

He’s right, of course, but FFS why remind me I’m old? 😂

Yes it was no doubt just a lighthearted jokey comment.

Hopefully you don’t refer to anyone in Rl to them as my “subordinate”?!

When I told one of my work colleagues that DH had left me, she asked how our sex live was before he left and before I’d answered, which I wouldn’t have, I was just stood flabbergasted, she launched into how men always leave when sex isn’t on offer, she’d decided it was my fault and then said her husband wouldn’t leave as she prioritised their sex life.

I (35yo F) I've been told to "behave" by a colleague at work several times in the last few weeks.

I'll give you three guesses as to their gender and age!

No, I don’t. That was just to make clear that this happened at work. I could have said ‘direct report’, but he isn’t, actually. There are a few layers between us.

I still thought it was wildly inappropriate.

Oh come on… was your youngest having a tizzy fit perhaps? The children nagging you about something? How many children did she have?

No, my youngest wasn't there at all, and my other two were just playing on the play equipment with her kid. She's a single mother to one child.

I mentioned that I'd have to leave soon to pick my toddler up from nursery. She said "Three? You need to get sorted with some contraception".

Am I really being prudish in thinking that was quite over-familiar? I barely know her.

@mondaytosunday do you think your daughter may have been blocking the area the person was trying to get past? Maybe, they meant, “Looks like you’re in another world.” Anyway, still rude. If that was the case, they could have said, “Excuse me.”

Mine is, when I was putting my shopping on the conveyer belt in Tesco. I have a non verbal son but he vocalises. The checkout operator said to me, “I don’t know how you put up with that noise.” I didn’t have a response for her.

Depends how you go through life.
Me? I’d have just smiled and said to enjoy rest of afternoon, and not given it any further thought or seen the dark side!

I think it’s highly inappropriate, @ThatEagerScroller — I would be taken aback even if it came from someone I knew well, let alone someone I didn’t.

That's exactly what I did, until I saw this thread and remembered it. A "recent" "not ok" thing someone said to me. I don't get why you need to take issue with it? Do you often comment on other people's family size, and think about their contraception methods, and feel criticized that I'd find that a bit presumptuous?