I’m talking to my own partner on a dating app.

[Ahitsteatime]

Currently 20 weeks pregnant, partner had taken it badly. Stropping around, not sure he wanted the baby then he did, making mistakes at work saying he was depressed. This is our first and was an accident. After weeks of him being up or down, I checked his phone. Mainly because I was worried he had been searching suicide methods or something. But no, I found a dating app.

He didn’t really have many chats about three and they were flirty and sort of sexual. I felt more annoyed than upset. I stupidly then decided to make an account, I don’t know why. I guess I wanted to see it for myself and control the narrative.

Used random photos off Reddit and he matched with me and I’ve been messaging him across the room. He’s told a ton of lies, single obviously, lives alone, new job, used older pictures😂. Such a piece of shit. It’s very interesting how he’s suddenly taking his phone in the shower

its been a week and now he’s away for work in a hotel. I’m at home, and messaging him. He’s not replied to my WhatsApp but has replied to “Graces” several times. Saying she’s gorgeous, asking if she models. Yuck

i need to end it when he gets home and have told my mum and im making plans but I kinda love he’s making an absolute tit of himself. Part of me wants to arrange a meet up and then turn up myself but he’s volatile. Thinking I could get my mum and dad sat in the pub when he goes to meet “Grace”. He’d be horrified and panicky then. Fucking twat.

It’s breeze but once you send a message you can continuing messaging even if you don’t go on the physical date. He’d also linked it to Feeld but that seemed more of a sexual one and he didn’t have any matches on there 😂

Wish you well OP. Sorry that you have to be in this situation.

Don’t think the real dating app or the real name was used.

I don’t think anyone would use actual names etched

He's an absolute arsehole especially to do this at this point in time. however you won't always feel like this which is hard to remember when you are right in the eye of the storm. Take it a step at a time , there's no right or wrong way to feel. good luck with the baby.

Yes, I like this idea!

OP I'm sorry for what you're going through, but if it's possible to make him squirm and make things as difficult as possible - do it.

Sorry OP this is really shit.
I wouldn't meet him, personally i would end it quietly as you don't need the drama and stress while pregnant.
Also, although your relationship is now dead, it would be ultimately best if you can remain civil with each other if he is going to be part of the childs life. He may step up as a dad once baby is here, or at least want a good relationship with the child. Which of course would be best for all if he does.
He is an absolute shit for doing this, and at least you know.
But I would try to leave with as little drama as possible, for your own and babies health.
Personally I would be wanting him to suffer and go all out in hurting him, but I think this would be a bad approach.
Keep your head up high and walk away with dignity. Leave then explain why maybe in a letter with what you expect from him as a father. Let him process it and then tell you how he will approach coparenting.
I would do this all matter of factly. Go cold. Go pragmatic. Draw the line and stay on the high ground.

I think you’re handling it perfectly.
It would have been a bad idea to reveal that you were “Grace” - he’d just twist it and say you’d set him up, and he was only on the app because someone told him you were.

The “friend” seeing him there is much better.

Hope all goes well 💐

Don't set him up for a meet OP. That way lies only trouble and you say he's volatile. Good that the house is yours so you hold all the cards. Get rid of the pathetic shit and look to the future with your baby.

All the more reason for OP to leave the situation so she can raise her daughter away from this lying cheating scum bag and show her daughter how females should be treated in relationship. I have raised my DD to never take second place and be always treated with love and respect.

I am glad to read your updates and to see you are ending this in a way that keeps you safe.
People can behave unpredictably when relationships end so I was going to say to make sure you have someone with you

So sorry to hear this but well done for having a bit of sport with him while you get your ducks in a row

Please listen to this OP. You are likely to have to co parent with this man. He will have unsupervised with your child. Probably not a good idea to humiliate him. It will shape your child’s future.
Just sort everything out and change the locks. Good luck.

Why are you using laughing emoji OP?
This is an awful situation, not a game.

Grow up and start making practical plans for your unborn child.

Yep, you're correct. Breeze also picks your potential matches for you and you then have to agree a date and pay an upfront fee. You can then only message for two hours before your planned date, and five hours after

@Ahitsteatime when does he become volatile?

This but also say you will be there maybe a hour later than him

Once confirmed hes in the room waiting for you send his stuff in bin bags by uber / cab.

Only thing is he may be the sort to be all mouth just gets a kick flirting online and actually not turn up himself.

This is exactly the kind of thing I would do to my H if he was up to this shit - I would turn up for the date too !

There was a thread a few years ago where the OP had a fake account and agreed to meet her partner. She left him sitting at the coffee place for 30 minutes and then sent a message saying that she had turned up and seen him from the door. That she thought he was nothing like his photos and too ugly for her so she left again.

I agree with others that it's best not to ever have him suspect that you are 'Grace'. You want to just remove the arsehole from your life with a minimum of fuss so that you can concentrate on yourself.

A friend posted on the timeline of an established music star whom he admires. He was subsequently approached by a scammer (pretending to be the music star) . He is having hours of fun manipulating the scammer and leading him on. My friend is the type who loves it when scammers approach him and pretend to be from Microsoft and will fix his computer. Or give him financial advice. Personally I couldnt be bothered with these people. However while they are talking to someone clued up like my friend these scalmmers have less time to con genuine victims.

Very best of luck @Ahitsteatime . I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and you are well rid of him when you have the benefit of hindsight.

Hi OP Sorry to hear about this dreadful situation. I would change the locks if you have not already done so.
If you suspect there could be a domestic you could call the Police and explain the situation so that they are briefed before you make the call. I hope that you do not have to.

You'll be well rid of him. Good luck, OP.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but do you really want to co-parent with this piece of slime?

Am so pleased your mum will be there with you. Good luck

Love this! I wouldn't disclose that you and Grace are the same person. I'd just let Grace lead him on and arrange to meet him at a hotel. On the day he's due to go to the hotel, you dump him, he no doubt will go to the hotel to find Grace isn't there and not only that, she's blocked him with no explanation. That'll fry his brain!

Could you (as Grace) tell him you showed his picture to a friend and your friend said he’s in a relationship with a baby on the way? And then block