Would paramedics refer me to social services if they didnt ask me anything

[Sophie2082]

Flat is very messy as husband is extremely poorly. Kitchen has dirty dishes. I am doing it on my own and baby is a velcro 9 month old and breastfeeds on demand. Typing this while he is suckling from me. Husband is so poorly he keeps vomitting into a baby potty (obviously never been used by baby, i just got it in advance)

He called the ambulance v early in the morning. He is sleeping in the spare room which has the baby changing table, baby wardrobe and a playmat with toys on the floor (noticed after paramedics left there was a cable on the floor). Honestly baby moves v slowly and i am usually with baby so will carry him off when he touches anything he shouldnt. He cosleeps with me in the master bedroom and the cot is full of clean clothes ( i put away some when i get a moment). Baby has never slept in it as he cosleeps (of course the ambulance staff dont know that but i think they saw it while standing in hallway).

They took husband away in ambulance, he honestly wasnt very lucid and kept saying he has a learning disability which means he cant reach his GP so no records of thr GP appointment. Truth is he has private health insurance so usually goes for private medical care do a & e staff can't see any records. He doesnt have a learning disability but has been diagnosed with adhd and he got a private antibiotics prescription yesterday.

They took my husband and left me with baby. No questions asked about baby but they did see baby as i was carrying him while talking to them.

The last time paramedics came to my house we had no kitchen and wet plaster on the walls. One of my dc was in my bed and there was washing up in the bath and a camping stove in the living room. It's unlikely they are going to judge your parenting on a bit of mess.

Not necessarily. The op said her husband has ADHD and CBT is used, in conjunction with medication and other therapies, to help with anxiety, overthinking etc

I meant as opposed to physical.
Thirty grands worth of medical tests and all he’s been recommended is a course of CBT?

Paramedics wouldn't be concerned at the state of your house, unless they felt the thing they were being called out for was a direct result of the state of your home, like you son had hurt himself on something that no responsible parent would leave around, or it was extremely dirty and directly hazardous to health, like rat invested or something.

Is your baby having some form of solids at 9 months they shouldn’t need to be velcro to the boob 24/7 jf having a few solids each day as in dinner or breakfast.

i also wouldn’t worry about it they were there for your husband

He has 3 meals a day. I just fed him and then started cleaning, placed him on mat with toys. He still started crying for boob. Let him sip a bit then he calmed down and started playing again. Then i could get on.

I guess cos its my firsf and only it is easy to just fall into rhythm of just being with him.

Have we read the same thread?!

How to say that you’ve never parented a breastfed Velcro baby, without saying that you’ve never parented a breastfed velcro baby!

Honestly 🙄

You are doing a great job OP.

Some breastfed babies like to feed all day round, yes even at this age. Some even at twice this age! It’s just temperament, and OP can only parent the child she has. She’s doing a great job.

The way to deal with to a hungry breastfed baby is not to switch them to formula. It’s to feed responsively, which OP is doing a great job of. Formula has many disadvantages compared to breastmilk.

What a silly suggestion.

OP, paramedics won't refer you to social services for having toys on the floor and dishes in the sink. You've had a poorly baby and a poorly husband so it's not surprising housework has taken a back seat for a few days. Please don't worry. Concentrate on feeding yourself and baby and rest when you can. I hope your DH is better soon. You sound like a sensible and caring mum 💐

They do. DH sees patients with them and will always write a letter to the GP after any consultation

I was with my dd when the gp receptionist relayed a message from the gp that if she was worried about her baby to take him to A&E.
The exact words were ‘we don’t see babies.’
I was shocked.
He had a gurgly chest which turned out to be a normal snuffly baby.

A gp practice that doesn’t see babies??

Have you or your husband ever had any involvement t with social services before.

No.

Maybe now is the time to leave the thread and potter about doing some tidying up? What time does your little one go to bed?

Please don’t worry, OP. 💐 A messy home, especially with a very young child, doesn’t equal concern on its own. If they were worried you might benefit from some support, they’d have spoken to you.

Referrals are very rarely done without informing a parent. Unless a child is in immediate danger or at risk of significant further harm, the usual process is to discuss the situation with the family and find out how they are really doing. From that, make a referral if needed and inform / get consent from a parent.

It’s also worth remembering that the threshold for social services to support is relatively high. For the common things that families might need, it’s early help (and that can range from early help provided by one agency to having a family support worker who can help families access lots of agencies - none of which are technically social services).

We took my husband to see a Dr when he had been really poorly post throat infection with a vomiting bug, severe diarrhea, temperature, pain etc and was sent back home with a prescription for diocalm. Later that night he managed to call 999 before collapsing. He had severe Sepsis and ended up in Intensive care in a coma for weeks. We now campaign and raise awareness of sepsis symptoms. His symptoms absolutely mirrored those of the OPs husband. Sepsis is commonly mistaken for a virus, vomiting bug or food poisoning. Please read up on the symptoms.

Please don’t worry, some of these replies have been very strange and harsh.
the paramedics will not have been concerned about some clothes and toys lying around.
The paramedics were obviously concerned that he is showing signs of sepsis and likely delirium also which would account for the confused way he was talking.
I hope he responds well to treatment in hospital and you can get some rest too, it must be a worrying time. Take care💐

This is terrifying..we have been video calling him while i am cleaning and feeding baby (who is sound asleep now). He can talk but very tired.. he has been ill for a week.

Trust me, paramedics have undoubtedly seen much worse, and they wouldn't be concerned about a messy home.
Please dont worry about that.

A very worrying time for you. I'm so sorry 😔

Some call it allowing a baby to dictate, some call it basic maternal love and care.

And that is fine. You are doing a good job. Some babies like breastfeeding more than others. It brings him great comfort in sure.

Feeding a 9 month old all day long is going slightly beyond basic love and care 🤪