Would paramedics refer me to social services if they didnt ask me anything

[Sophie2082]

Flat is very messy as husband is extremely poorly. Kitchen has dirty dishes. I am doing it on my own and baby is a velcro 9 month old and breastfeeds on demand. Typing this while he is suckling from me. Husband is so poorly he keeps vomitting into a baby potty (obviously never been used by baby, i just got it in advance)

He called the ambulance v early in the morning. He is sleeping in the spare room which has the baby changing table, baby wardrobe and a playmat with toys on the floor (noticed after paramedics left there was a cable on the floor). Honestly baby moves v slowly and i am usually with baby so will carry him off when he touches anything he shouldnt. He cosleeps with me in the master bedroom and the cot is full of clean clothes ( i put away some when i get a moment). Baby has never slept in it as he cosleeps (of course the ambulance staff dont know that but i think they saw it while standing in hallway).

They took husband away in ambulance, he honestly wasnt very lucid and kept saying he has a learning disability which means he cant reach his GP so no records of thr GP appointment. Truth is he has private health insurance so usually goes for private medical care do a & e staff can't see any records. He doesnt have a learning disability but has been diagnosed with adhd and he got a private antibiotics prescription yesterday.

They took my husband and left me with baby. No questions asked about baby but they did see baby as i was carrying him while talking to them.

Well the Gp tells me to take him to paedaetric a & e when i call so i do that. 111 also tells me to do that.

Last time i went, he had a temperature of 39 degree celsius and they said we were absolutely right to take him in.

You can always get a GP appointment if you need one.

Thats not always true. I rang last week and the receptionist told me there was nothing available and to ring 111. I told them I just needed to send them a picture and get a GP to look at it but was again told to ring 111. So I did. 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's not quite right, he might have a learning 'difficulty', but a learning 'disability' affects a person's overall intelligence and usually means an IQ of under 70. These are some of the most marginalised and disadvantaged people in society.

If he is of average intelligence with a job in an investment bank, going round telling people he has a learning disability he is going to really confuse matters!

They told me he is going to stay overnight.

I can type while breastfeeding and i have cleared up somewhat

Yes. He is in a dark room and can barely open his eyes. I had to go there to find out whats happening.

Oh, in England ADHD, dyslexia etc are called specific 'learning difficulties'. Learning disabilities is a term used exclusively to describe people with significant cognitive impairment in the form of an IQ under 70. Many people with learning disabilities cannot live independently.

People do get them confused all the time, so the paramedics possibly realised he was just using the wrong term.

Quite early in the morning. I was asleep.

No dealings hence i was asking.

She's got a small baby and an extremely ill husband who got taken to hospital in an ambulance today. That's not "little excuse" for chaos.

Ah i see.

The paramedics also wouldnt know dh's job and degrees, only he uses private medical care. But it would be quite clear to them he isnt low IQ.

He just came across as extremely weak and confused. Hence why they took him to hospital and keeping in overnight.

Well on his nhs records now are the fact he has a learning disability. As a learning disability means, according to the NhS website that a person can struggle to live independently or care for themselves and may struggle to understand complicated information then it may trigger a referral if he was a single parent or solely responsible for a child - as that is what he has told them.

Exactly! It doesn't even sound that bad, compared to many.
True, co-sleeping is not recommended (mine are past the baby stage, so happy to be corrected, but that's what I was told a few years back), but it doesn't sound like this was even discussed.
I'd be worried about why a youngish man was suddenly not lucid, assuming this was new, so OP I hope he and you are ok. From what you have said, this is what I would focus on. Do you have family that could come round to support you, and him, right now? Or friends?

Hmm maybe, but only on his hospital records, if that (only if Paramedics believed he did indeed have an LD and relayed this information to the hospital).

The GP records (on a different system) are the important bit for getting LD recorded, and GP practices can be quite cagey selective about who they put on the LD register.

why didn’t he say tha?

I usually go private. Private notes can go to nhs notes.

why did he lie about a learning disability?

and yes. It can be seen as a safeguarding risk if your house is so untidy it is not safe for a baby.

They definitely knew he was living independently as it was just us and baby. We live in a leafy suburb of north london. They dont know we own the flat but market rent for my flat is 2k. Its not a council flat either. It does take 2 incomes to afford though when we bought it for 392k in 2019 it was mainly on the basis of dh's income as i didnt have ilr then so there was a smaller weight on his income..

What are you really worried about OP? Just the mess? or something else.

Why are you disclosing so much personal information that isn't relevant? You sound almost manic.

My son was like the OPs husband last year. He was in a side room. Intravenous drugs, they thought meningitis. He was in for eight days.

@Sophie2082 must be very worried about her DH and managing a baby. I suggest she uses her friends network so she can visit her husband and get some answers leaving baby with a friend.

Seriously OP if your baby is at all independently mobile, either crawling, shuffling or rolling over, you need to look at your living spaces critically and sort them out.

It only takes a second for a hand to grab something tiny, like a small flat battery, a dropped grape, a pill, for you to be looking at a dangerous situation. Put the baby somewhere safe a cot, playpen, a bouncy chair and spend 10 minutes being proactive. Do another room tomorrow.

Gosh, yet another medical mystery 🤔

To answer your question, @Sophie2082, paramedics are definitely trained to identify safeguarding concerns and will make referrals to social services if they consider it necessary.

However, it is impossible for anyone here to know whether your circumstances meet their threshold.

Your husband is clearly quite unwell if he's been admitted to hospital, and I wonder if perhaps you're finding it easier to focus on the possibility of a referral (and even house prices and rental costs) over thinking about that reality?

Do you have anyone you could chat to face to face or even over the phone? It might be a good idea to get in touch with someone in real life.

Wishing you and your husband, and baby of course, all the best.