Last thing you said out loud

[NewLion]

Ok

Get off the stairs, stop trying to kill me. To the 7 month old kitten who has a habit of stretching herself across the stairs when im trying to come down. I have a dodgy knee so difficult to step over her

Ow!

I was in hospital on Monday and I’m still recovering from the procedure, struggling to keep the pain under control today.

your Amazon parcel is in the blue bin

Just a sec.

Oooh you’re so handsome! (To the cat)

See you in a bit.

Another ten minutes. (Dogs giving me the amber eye, starving look).

It’s really windy up the front…

White is shite (in relation to white bread vs brown bread)

It might be taboo to mention that he’s orange. Just say ‘cat’.

Think I will make this the next thing I say. 😃

Iced Gems i can eat these.

Hello Lucy

Where's your turtle? (to the dog)

"A derivative is a financial contract whose value is tied to an underlying asset, index, or rate. Rather than directly owning an asset, derivatives are used to hedge against risk, speculate on price movements, or gain access to complex markets."

“For the love of all that is holy, please stop swinging on the bloody gate!!!”

Don’t call your sister a twat

Oh just fuck right off.
H is trying my patience

Becark.

Yes there is another Deadly 60!

Our house really isn’t child friendly at all you know

You’d hate it if I did that to you.

Ive had the best day ever

What the fuck, £30 on weight loss tea. Stop ordering shit online.

I totally despair of dh ordering fucking useless shit online.

It was a plastic box from wowcher last week, was supposed to be extra large to store seat cushions from the garden furniture, only holds 3 small scatter cushions. Ffs.

You need to stir the yogurt in