Last thing you said out loud

[NewLion]

Ok

Oh poor tiddler

Can't be arsed to log in again today.

Scampi and chips please

Fucking hell, I’m really hot 🥵

I’m menopausal on top of the heatwave! Hot flushes are horrific right now!

Why did I eat the scotch egg - I did because they are lush

You’ll survive until you’re home.

I think there are some in the bottom drawer (kids looking in the freezer for choc ices)

I’m not sure we should be condoning pigeon sex…
(in response to my partner saying there’s some bird shenanigans happening on my garage roof!)

She's such a fucking twat.

Are you sleep already? Hello…?

Fancy some toast?

I have booked to go to x for two nights. I am made take that week off so decided to not waste it. I got a really good deal at y and z stayed there recently and loved it.

“She did Bill Bailey!”

You’re going on a diet, fatso!

(Said to Junior cat, who is definitely starting to look a tad chunky.)

Now they will believe her

What d'you mean you haven't put it in yet?!

Oh for fucks sake

Hahah don’t do that it tickles

Don’t bark at the cat.

Are you reading Five Red Herrings AGAIN? (to DH - Dorothy L. Sayers fanatic)

Its in the thingies at the bottom, on the app

No (to my dog who is desperate to go in the garden to hunt the rabbit that's in the bushes).

It was 33.6 degrees on the ward tonight

Let’s wait for the next one (Indian Traitors)

Are you ready to be tucked in and can you stop whistling please.