Amusing yet slightly embarrassing things your DC have said in public.

[Yourinmyspot]

When DD was around 2 she couldn’t say clock properly. We were sat in a packed hospital waiting room with a really big clock on the wall. She piped up ‘look at that big cock on the wall’. On the same theme she was telling on of our friends that she got a frozen cock for her birthday my friend was howling.

“That woman’s got one leg! Look! One leg! Where’s the other one?”

I wanted to die on the spot.

ETA it wasn’t actually amusing, just very embarrassing.

I've had something similar with my 2 yrs old, in London at the Natural History Museum.. we were looking for Andy's dinosaur adventure clock and when we found it, my DC shouted : Andy's cock!! Also dick instead of stick🤭

My DS loved the Madagascar movies as a little boy.

On a particularly bumpy flight/landing (he would have been 4 yo) he shouted out 'Mayday, Mayday, We're Going Down' in the voice of Skipper. It added a smile to the faces of quite a few people around him. Except to the one poor, obviously terrified passenger who was white knuckling it 😂

Having a coffee with MiL after watching DD swim. She proudly told MiL that she would be in the Tadpole group now.

MiL asked which group she was in before and DD shouted out, I was a sperm Granny!

Shouted loudly down the street much to the amusement of the builders working next door
"Mummy, i found you a dick. It's a nice dick. You love dicks don't you mummy?"

Took my daughter to the bathroom in the museum.

On the way out she shouted ‘ewww it stinks’
To clarify, it was her who’d used the toilet not me!!

We'd recently moved house and the weather was good so my 2 year old and 5 year old were in the garden playing with a ball. My elderly neighbours were also outside. Unfortunately my 2 year old couldn't manage the 'ch' sound so was shouting 'fuck it' (chuck it) at his brother.

Sister-in-law wedding. Boring for little ones (about 3). DH was making silly faces to try and keep our son amused (and quiet) including poking his tongue out. In the quiet bit about 'anyone who knows of any just cause or impediment that these 2 should not be wed' a little voice pipes up 'put that away Daddy, that's rude'. You could see the shoulders of people in front shaking.

We were having Sunday lunch at a Beefeater when DD was about 18 months and just starting to put two words together. She was getting frustrated seeing food being served to other tables before us and shouted out her demand to the waitress, ‘Lady! Food!’

My eldest age 3 when visiting his great grandma in a home, in the main lounge room looking around "you are all REALLY OLD, that means you will DIE SOON."

I mean he wasnt wrong 🙈

Same child a bit younger,age 2 on the bus "that person is SO big their bum takes up TWO whole seats."

He spoke before he was a year, sentences before 18 months, was always like an old man in a toddlers body. He is now in his 20's exceptionally polite and doing very well in life.

Tbf it helped prime me for my youngest, autistic, pda , shock language and tourettes. Nothing that boy says phases me.

My eldest age 3 when visiting his great grandma in a home, in the main lounge room looking around "you are all REALLY OLD, that means you will DIE SOON."

I mean he wasnt wrong 🙈

Same child a bit younger,age 2 on the bus "that person is SO big their bum takes up TWO whole seats."

He spoke before he was a year, sentences before 18 months, was always like an old man in a toddlers body. He is now in his 20's exceptionally polite and doing very well in life.

Tbf it helped prime me for my youngest, autistic, pda , shock language and tourettes. Nothing that boy says phases me.

Hahahaha these are amazing.

I saw a post on here of a toddler in a queue sighing loudly and saying 'I love daddy's peeny' 🙄

Mine is only 6 months so no doubt we have all of this to come but my Dniece, 3, has said:

(Sigh) 'When I'm older I'm going to make my own way in life'

(When all having a group hug the 5 of us and asking her to join in) 'I've only got two hands!'

Said to my mum who was proudly going on about her weight loss (also an issue in front of kids but anyway):

”yes granny you look very slim apart from your bum which is enormous”

my mum has secretly been known as “The Bum” in our family ever since…

on a similar theme:

‘mummy you like cock porn’

this was at the cinema. When I was buying popcorn.

This is mine. DNephew about 5 or 6, yelled loudly “you’re hurting me daddy!” And screaming and crying loudly. His dad was hardly touching him, DNephew is a bit of a diva. This was near the entrance to a park/museum.

This is so funny

Not the point of the thread, but I didn't realise they actually had this at the NHS!! My kids would love that!

My young dd and i were in a toilet cubicle in a museum where there was a statue of a bull, when she decided to explain, at full volume, how calves are conceived. We farm, so she was very familiar with the process and used all the anatomically correct words. I knew there were people either side of me in the cubicles so i decided cowering in the cubicle was preferential to facing these ladies at the hand washing sinks.

Visiting a church with my nephew when he was 2. A guide asked him if he went to church and if he know any priests. He shouted very loudly ‘I do not go church and Priests are very bad men’. I thought it was hilarious, the little old lady volunteer not so much.

This reminds me of me of when I used to nanny pre-kids. I went to lunch with toddler twins and their mum. One of them stood on her chair and shouted ‘Man, more!’ To demand more mayonnaise for her chips 🤣

Man, more! Is still used in our house in reference to condiments more than a decade later.

He’s not wrong about the priests!

DGD 7 asked my poor sister who has cancer. is cancer contagious and are you going to die😬. Poor woman!

A friend at work told me about her nephew who when he saw a Sikh man wearing a turban for the first time shouted ooh look, it’s a genie!

DD -about a year old - signed before she talked. On the tube one day she was signing “hippo”.

I said loudly, thinking there must be a cartoon somewhere, “Where’s the hippo? Where is it? Where is the hippo?”

DD pointed at a very large lady in a grey tracksuit.

Ditto “cock” at anything round, notably the tube roundel when - I shit you not- a group of actual nuns got on the train. COCK COCK COCK!

My now 20 year old son, loved Wallace and Gromit when he was little and particularly the ‘Curse of the Were Rabbit’ movie.

I remember being in the local Morrisons with him and my mum and he shouted very loudly ‘Kiss My Artichoke’. We still remind him of it 🤣