Amusing yet slightly embarrassing things your DC have said in public.

[Yourinmyspot]

When DD was around 2 she couldn’t say clock properly. We were sat in a packed hospital waiting room with a really big clock on the wall. She piped up ‘look at that big cock on the wall’. On the same theme she was telling on of our friends that she got a frozen cock for her birthday my friend was howling.

My sister took us to the theatre, odd choice of play tbh considering my kids were teens and my profoundly autistic niece (not her DD) went too, but it was billed as family friendly. Anyhoo at one point the two leads were arguing and one falls to the floor. Silence in the theatre and my niece says loudly one of the few phrases she’s knows: ‘Are you ok’? Everyone laughed and it kind of ruined the moment but it was so sweet of her to be worried about this guy!

Where's that very fat man going? Really loudly as he passed by, aged 4. Apologies to that man,

This reminds me how my 3 year old always says “dick man” instead of “stick man” in the Julia Donaldson book 😂

A plumber had been round to fix the radiator in the bedroom. He had low-slung jeans on. When my husband gor home from work, my son proudly told him that 'Mummy has been looking at a man's bottom in the bedroom.'

In the publuc toilets and my 3yo decided to be very supportive "That's a very big tinkle mummy, do you think its going to stop? Well done mummy, you did a good job. Ooo, there's a bit more..." I could hear a snigger from the next cubicle as I tried to suggest she didn't need to shout...

My eldest daughter when aged about six and a half decided that sitting in a reasonably busy café was the optimum time to ask "didn't mummy complain when you put me inside her"

No, but she definitely had a few choice words when you came back out.

Lady walks past in a white headscarf. Ds (3) says “look mummy there’s an astronaut’ 🤣

Youngest about 2 at the time and elderly female relative visiting that I privately called Hyacinth Bucket. I know where eggs come from, elderly lady says where obviously expecting him to say the supermarket .............hens bottoms!

My niece absolutely loves currants or raisins. Unfortunately she can’t pronounce either word properly yet. We were in the middle of Asda and went past the dried fruit when she decided to shout very loudly, “Cunts! Cunts! Want cunts, I love cunts!”

When she was about six, my sister asked a friend’s mum at the school gate “Are you EVER going to have your baby?” You can guess why her “pregnancy” had been so long.

I was on a bus with DD, who was about two, when a diminutive Indian lady got on and stood in front of us. DD said, “Why does that girl have a spot on her face?” I explained that she wasn’t a girl, she was a lady, and she had a red dot on her forehead because she was married. To which my daughter shrieked, “She’s not a lady she’s a girl, she’s too small to be a lady…” Embarrassing all round.

My niece used to go swimming with with her Granny (my MIL) when she was a toddler. My SIL is very much not a 'naked at home' type of person.

DN was very surprised that 'Granny has a hairy bum' and was happy to tell everyone that she met 😆, it was her main topic of conversation for weeks!

Just at the point when the audience goes silent before the start of a show DC1, aged 2, noticed the balding man in the row in front of him and shouted, “That man’s got a hole in his head!”

This is……..epic! Hippo! Bless her 🤣🥰

My two friends DD’s were around six, and had show and tell at our (small, local) primary school.
one DD said ‘my mum can’t drive because she’s had her womb cut out’
next DD adds’my mum couldn’t drive because she drank too much wine the night before’

my own DD aged 3 asked the supermarket cashier ‘ have you got hairs on your foof like my mummy?’

and with DS at the beach aged 3. There was a very large group of Sri Lankan people and we stood back to let them all pass in the path.
DS ‘those are the chocolate people! Look mummy chocolate people! Look mummy! ‘
mortified

In the swimming pool on holiday with toddler DD and a very overweight man starts getting in the pool near us.
DD points and says “Ooh Mummy, that’s a…”

I cringed and braced myself

“…STRONG man”

Phew!

these are very funny! I've had one say loudly in the co-op age about 4- "You know what I don't like, mummy? What I really really don't like to look at? .....BLACK PEOPLE'S FACES"

Just awful!!!

I was taking DD3 to have her face painted at a kid's birthday party. Her mixed race friend, Sara, was standing next to us, and she'd already had her face done.

DD gets to the front of the queue and says loudly, "I WANT TO BE A BLACK GIRL."

I said quickly, "No, DD, we don't do that. Maybe something else instead?"

DD said, "It's not fair, Sara is!"

I was mortified. Until it turned out that Sara had been painted as BatGirl.

I was out in town with DS and his friend Oliver, they were both 6. There was a bloke having a cigarette break in a doorway as we walked past. DS stopped, turned to his friend and said "Oliver, that man is smoking, so he's going to die young" And friend nodded gravely and said "Yes, sadly he is". Cue much ushering on from me!

I’ve said this one on here before, we were at an outdoor museum and my youngest was walking about pointing and naming what he saw so “chair, cup,table” then he pointed to the staff and said “big fat man”. He was rotund to be fair. It was mortifying. For us and him.

We were on a train, at a four people -seater, with a table. My DD, aged 2.5 asked me, very loudly, why the man opposite had ( and proceeded to imitate) tics, but imitated them in the most extravagant way. He was, horribly afflicted, poor man, but had the grace to explain to her; she was v satisfied and then continued to do them, saying she could do them better than he could. He was a very, very gracious man, and i will never forget his humour and generosity and dignity, but often wonder, how absolutely horrible it must have been for him.
She is 29 now, and says I should have given her a clip round the ear.

Not my child but if you’re on here I feel your embarrassment…..I was in M&S ladies toilets on a busy Saturday, you know the sort where the queue is out of the door and along the corridor, when a child aged around 3 or 4 said loudly in the next cubicle “mummy, why don’t you wear nice knickers like ones with flowers on?” 😳
I assume mummy made the lingerie department her next stop

One time in Toby Carvery, went for the all you can eat breakfast. Our daughter who was 3 or 4 had a good look around and announced delightedly "there are SO MANY BIG PEOPLE here". I shushed her but she continued indignantly "but there ARE, look at them, they are big, and that man there, he's REALLY big". Mortifying.

My friend's son seeing some Arabic gentlemen in traditional dress in London "mummy why are there shepherds here?" ( They laughed politely.)

Another friend's daughter had heard in school assembly about people in some African countries who didn't have clean water and how the school was fundraising to help them. At the weekend friend was driving through town and daughter spotted a black man walking along and demanded her mum stop the car so she could give him her bottle of water. He was smartly dressed and would no doubt have been baffled or offended but daughter was furious with mum for saying no.

My son was about to two. It was just after 7/7 and security had been upped at airports. There was a long queue to get through security and we were all crushed in the long queue bound by a waist high barrier on either side but with a space underneath. My son had a little jungle book pull along suitcase that was slightly under the barrier rather than within its confines. A big burley security man came up and carefully moved the suitcase a few inches so it was back within the barrier. My son,complete with pointy finger, snapped, ‘No! No touch. Mine’! Security man was very taken aback, as we all were, but did start laughing.

Another thing dd1 came out with at nursery - ‘Heil Hitler!’ complete with raised arm!

However since she was also endlessly singing about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, doe, a deer, etc. staff had very soon twigged what her current TV favourite was!

DS and i made a trip to see my Dsis who had been having cancer treatment. We lived overseas and DS was nearly 4 and couldnt remember having met auntie and cousins before. At first meeting Dsis was wearing her wig. When we called to their house folllowing day, she answered the door without it. DS looked at his 6yo cousin and asked “Wheres your mum?”.
Cousin looked a bit confused and said “right here” pointing at Dsis. DS proclaims “No, wheres your other mum?” (giving Dsis the side eye). The penny then dropped 🫣