Amusing yet slightly embarrassing things your DC have said in public.

[Yourinmyspot]

When DD was around 2 she couldn’t say clock properly. We were sat in a packed hospital waiting room with a really big clock on the wall. She piped up ‘look at that big cock on the wall’. On the same theme she was telling on of our friends that she got a frozen cock for her birthday my friend was howling.

Shouting in a person's earshot, "IS THAT A WOMAN OR A MAN?"

We taught DS to cross at the green man. We were in Chicago where the cross walk lights are red or white. DS age 4 shouts at the top of his lungs "white man" in a very diverse area and with no context at all. Luckily no one said anything. I am American but we live in the UK, so I'd have had a hard time explaining in their same accent and trying to pull the foreigner card that I wasn't raising a little supremacist.

Another time still 4, we booked into a hotel on IOW and he was being cute with the receptionist and offered her a high five- which he promptly rescinded and told her "too slow." He had never done that before and I was mortified at the rudeness.

That woman's got no clothes on

I just spat my coffee out laughing 😂😂

1.) My eldest son then about 3 in the toilet cubicle very loudly “Mummy, why don’t you have a penis? Daddy’s is HUGE”. Cue sniggering in the adjoining cubicles.

2.) My nephew then about 4, in Elvis Presley’s house in Tupelo Ms. SIL holding him. The tour guide says “hello young man, how are you?”

DN “I think I just got a booger…” cue finger with said booger on it. SIL quickly said “he’s not mine…”

3.) My youngest son then 2, yelling in my parents’ back garden “WANKER!” Very strict and religious parents absolutely shocked. On the way over to parents house, my son’s dad had road rage and guess which word he’d used…

Another corker from my youngest - I was chatting to a mum I'd just met at the park and she was actually asking my advice. I was warming to my subject and she was really appreciative, until toddler child comes running up in a bit of a dither and waving a finger at me.

I broke off briefly to kiss her finger better and ask what happened and she LOUDLY said 'Not hurt mummy - bogey!' 🤢

I was queuing at the checkout with my shopping on the conveyor when the man in front of us turned to look at my three year old daughter who was singing. He smiled at me and then smiled at her - she then shouted in her foghorn voice 'My mummy shaves her front bum with those!' , pointing to the razors on the conveyor belt.

I didn't know where to look or what to say. I was wanting to scream 'Bikini line!' in explanation but I was so embarrassed no sound came.

The man in front couldn't stop laughing

I was often out alone with my boy when he was little.

One day, when he was 4, we were in the toilet cubicle when I had to change my tampon. As he so often did, he was watching closely and had questions.

I explained that Mummy wasn't hurt. It's just something called a period that grown up ladies had.

After several more questions, I responded to them by explaining that the white thing was called a tampon and it was a bit like a bandage for soaking up the period blood.

Anyway, the next time we were in the public toilets, my son bent down to have a 'better' look and said at the top of his voice "Mummy. Do you have your period? Do you need a tampon?" I was mortified!

But, when he did sex ed in late Primary, the teacher did say that he was very well informed and could answer all of her questions!

Said to a male shop assistant dressed (sort of) as a woman, ‘ you look like a man’ when he was serving us. Got a very withering look from shop assistant , but DC was only a toddler at the time (in fairness it was true, even though I was embarrassed).

In the toilets with my eldest when he was about 3, he loudly exclaimed ‘oh no, oh no Mummy. Your willy has fallen off’.

I don't have a child but I have been on the receiving end a few times.

My favourite was walking around Sainsburys, doing my shopping, when a youngster sitting in the trolley of a nearby family pointed at me and said "mummy, that lady is a silly sausage." Now, I can't be entirely sure what prompted this, maybe I just have silly sausage vibes, but I'd hazard a guess that it was because I had no hair and that must have not met the 'lady' template for this child! 😂

My husband's best one was probably a child who pointed at him and said 'mummy, why is that man a goat?" He had a big beard, and I guess that made him look goaty.

My niece asked a lady in the post office queue if she had a baby in her tummy. She smiled and said “no love Im just fat and old”

I think the moral of this thread is don't take dc to the supermarket or on a bus - and never, ever take them into a toilet cubicle.

Years ago when mini blondes was just potty trained so just 3

she went to the toilet with my friend who has a boy while we were out do lunch

came out and announced to all that T has a Willy and I have a vagina

with a proud look on her face

3 year old ds of DD’s friend told nursery staff, ‘My daddy's got a MASSIVE willy!’ 😂
(‘massive’ was his favourite new word at the time.)

And a favourite I read somewhere, after a granny was urging her little Gds to ‘be quick!’
‘I AM bequicking!’

My DD was into the Lion King when she was little. She was watching the hyenas scene with Scar and she asked me what kind of animal they were, so I said "Those ones at the top of the cliff are hyenas". She then said "And those ones at the bottom are Low-enas" 😂

Back in 1996 we were in a restaurant in Spain. Beards were unfashionable back then, and I don't think DD (then around 14 months old) had really seen anyone with one.
A waiter with quite a full beard approached our table.
"A monster!" wailed DD.

Hopefully he didn't understand 😬

Quite a few years ago, it was New Year's Eve, and my youngest was looking out the window when she suddenly yelled, 'Look, Mum, a horny man!' I dreaded to think what she was looking at, but it was only a man wearing a Viking helmet!

@ascothank you for making me laugh. I love your DS. I’m sure his grandad was watching him and laughing too.

When my oldest was little he used to love it when I took his nappy off before bath time and he’d kick his legs around and just love the freedom. This became (like many things in our family do) a song.

so when it was time for a bath I’d start singing “What time is it? It’s naked time! What time is it? It’s naked time!”

Anyway this continued, his little brother was born and they both had naked time and bath time often coincided their dad coming home.

One day, their dad arrived home with his friend and as he opened the door DS1 said. “Oh great, daddy’s home - it’s naked time!”

We had some explaining to do!

As a toddler, my eldest DD once pointed at a woman in the street and shouted ‘Minion!’

In fairness, the woman was wearing blue dungarees with a yellow T-shirt underneath!

This reminds me of a conversation I heard on the bus this week. A little girl of three or four was sitting with her dad.

Girl (suddenly): Oh, I forgot! Alfie had to go to hostable yesterday.

Dad: He went to hospital? Why?

Girl: Because he put beads up his snotrils.

Dad: Up his what?

Girl: His nose.

We went up the funicular at the Reichenbach Falls ins Switzerland when dd was about 4. At the top was a woman wearing niqab. Dd shouted as loudly as possible - oh look mummy, a ninja!

4 year olds... School playground... Ds friend suddenly stated very very precisely and quite loudly to another child...'my mummy says your mummy's got a mouth like a fog horn' ... Oops!

Oh and did feel very sorry for a dad in the supermarket yesterday... Small girl chatting away about how she's going to change her name to be like the lady on the video.. dad says 'what lady' child ' I really like the name delectable daisy'.... Dad was muttering about never letting her near YouTube again..