Amusing yet slightly embarrassing things your DC have said in public.

[Yourinmyspot]

When DD was around 2 she couldn’t say clock properly. We were sat in a packed hospital waiting room with a really big clock on the wall. She piped up ‘look at that big cock on the wall’. On the same theme she was telling on of our friends that she got a frozen cock for her birthday my friend was howling.

Daddy’s got a tiny dick - yelled across a park

She meant stick. She had found a big stick and he… didn’t

sometimes my now four year old, if you say, can mummy have a cuddle she’ll say ‘no I’m too busy for that right now’ 🤣

Aww that's cute and apparently exactly what I said when I was 3 to a Sikh just after we'd come out of seeing Aladdin and I was so excited! My mum was mortified but he played along and granted me three wishes 😂

As for my own wee ones, my youngest piped up VERY LOUDLY when I was showering in the gym after we'd both been at the swimming (he was not quite 2 yet so I'd just stripped and stripped him to quickly wash us in the shower): why do you have poo on your bum mummy?! (It was hair!!! Argh, I'd been needing to shave but it definitely prompted me after that). I could hear the women in the next shower killing herself laughing.

Also, when he was first starting to say words, he couldn't say "blackcurrant juice" properly and well...I'm sure you can all guess what he shouted at full volume from his high chair to the waitress at a cafe. I WANT BLACK C**T JUICE. I wanted the entire floor to swallow me whole. Luckily the waitress and all the diners around us saw the funny side. Jeez.

What a nice thread…chuckling at these

After watching Bluey, the episode where she makes a video for Bingo in hospital, we got on the bus to town. The bus was packed and as we sat down my son announced "We've got bum worms!" at the top of his voice.

Not even "I" like in the show, but we. 😭

Very loudly in a quiet place with only 1 other person in sight, "mommy, why is that lady so grumpy?"

When dd1 was four we took her to a friend’s humanist baby blessing ceremony. Near the end we all joined in singing a song, which dd didn’t know so she sang Baa Baa black sheep, perfectly in tune and extremely loudly. Funny and mildly embarrassing!

This was kind of in public, DNephew 7 but he was 6 at the time. VWe’re all sitting round having lunch at my parent’s house. DNephew recently back from family holiday. Suddenly he proceeds to tell with no pauses details of the argument when SIL and DB were on holiday with their respective families, “and mummy said to uncle Richard that she hated him and was never going to speak to him ever again!” Uncle Richard came back late from a night out. We all had to explain to him that adults sometimes say things they don’t mean and his poor mum was smiling through gritted teeth.

Top deck of a busy bus, drove past an Ann Summers. DD pointed at a sign and shouted ‘look Mummy, that shop looks so much fun for you! It sells adult toys!’

(she thought it meant Lego for adults)

🤣

For some unknown reason, when I was in co -op with DD, then 2, she loudly announced 'I'm allowed wine'!
No idea why, and no, she definitely wasn't allowed wine!

I (obvs) have no memory of this, but apparently once when I was put in the child’s seat of a trolley when my mum was shopping in the supermarket I pinched the bum of an elderly lady who was bent over a deep freeze. Rather than seeing the funny side, apparently the lady KICKED OFF

My husband changing our daughter in a cubicle for swimming. 'Daddy! STOP TOUCHING ME!'

One of the staff at our local leisure centre has dwarfism, and the first time my son saw him was when he was about 4. He knew enough not to say anything while we were standing next to him, but he really overestimated how soundproof the changing cubicles were when he stage whispered 'Does that grown up little boy work here?' in an incredulous voice. 😬

On the plus side, his younger sister (also with an excessively loud voice) was watching a boy at the playground today. He obviously had some developmental delays, and he was whizzing around having a great time and being very physical with the equipment.

She loudly piped up 'Why's that boy...' paused for a couple of seconds, then finished 'so GOOD at everything?' in an awestruck tone. I think the boys mum and I were both relieved! 😅

My nephew aged 3 was with his granny at the hairdressers and all was quiet until DN shouted out “STOP THAT, to a lady under the dryer - stop picking your nose, my daddy says you shouldn’t”

’How old are you?’ Cashier to DS1
DS1 ‘five’ then pointed to me….
’mummy, 38’.

Round the dinner table with DS aged about 2 or 3, us and the (rather prim and proper) PILs.
DS said “my peas are green!” (We all said Ooh as if he was the sage of all wisdom), then, bolstered by this approval, he followed up with “and my carrot is orange, and the table is brown. And, And, MY POO IS BROWN!”
MIL was scandalised at the mention of poo at the dinner table and DS had no clue why his amazing display of colour knowledge was no longer being applauded. I was just trying not to visibly laugh.

Not my DC but overheard a few years ago:

On the bus, Granny with 2x maybe 4 year olds.
"What's that place?"
"It's the cemetary, where dead people are buried".
"Why is there a bus stop?"
"For people to go there".
"So dead people go on the bus to get there?"
Me : <snort>

Oh my goodness, your MIL would be scandalised by my now 4 year old every day then! He's going through a phase of saying poo poo face, toilet bum face, smelly poo toilet face and roaring his head off laughing at saying this, over and over, at absolutely every opportunity (including at the dinner table). Not helped by one of his favourite book series (supertato) having a birthday story which includes a silly song with poo in it. He's ridiculous but you just have to laugh along. I try and stay neutral faced and not give it air time, but it's relentless, and apparently they all do it at the nursery and egg each other on😳

In a busy but quiet Pret A Manger, DS had just had rudimentary ‘facts of life’ lessons and wanted to clear something up.

Loudly.

‘So, mummy. When daddy puts his seeds in your mouth, do you crunch them up or just swallow them down?’

"We see a lot of dog porn don't we Mummy??"

Yes darling, lots of DOG PAW PRINTS in the muddy park.

Dd1, aged 3, on seeing a man with white hair - perfectly fit looking and v likely no more than 60, at the top of her voice, ‘Oh! Just look at that poor old man!’

My favourite though, Gdd1, just under 3 at nursery, asked by staff what she was doing in the play kitchen: ‘I’m having a glass of wine.’ 😂

When my DGD was about 3 or 4 years old (she's 19 now) we were in a supermarket when she saw a man on crutches with one leg. DGD couldn't stop staring then blurted out 'Where's his other leg?'. Me and her mum didn't know where to look,but he was very nice about it saying that he'd heard it so many times from kids!

@Watchoutfortheslowaraf our youngest used to call popcorn cock porn , we used to howl with laughter over it as long as it wasn’t in public