Would you date a bisexual man?

[Seymorbutts]

Just that really. A man who you believed to be genuinely bisexual, not a gay man on his way out of the closet. Someone who’d had long-term relationships with both men and women and who you’ve never known to sleep around with either men or women. If not, why would it bother you?

She's called other posters groomers, paedophiles, "sanctimonious cow", and so on.

Really the only suprise is it hasn't happened before. I mean come on, everyone knows personal attacks are a no-no.

Taking an odd word out of context is a very poor way to make a point.
I think the women on here who have answered the OP's question with a NO, have been called quite a few names too.

Then report them, by all means.

Insulting other posters isn't allowed.

People who forever have their finger on the report button tend to disjoint threads, but if that's what you do, and it's allowed, carry on.

You can dress it up however you like, but calling another poster a paedophile just isn't reasonable behaviour in any book. I don't really know how it can be defended.

And what homophobic reasons have you actually seen on the thread?

I've been on it since page 1 or 2 and I haven't seen any homophobic or biphobic reasons why women don't want want to date bisexual men.

No one, as far as I'm aware, has said that homosexuals or bisexuals are dreadful people that they avoid in all aspects of life. That would be homo/biphobia.

Plenty have said they are not attracted to men who are attracted to men and simply don't want to date men who also may have or want to date men - not homophobic.

Some have said they do not like the idea of having sex with a man who has had anal sex( with a man or woman) and do not want to have anal sex themselves - not homophobic.

Plenty have said they only want to date heterosexual men full stop - not homophobic.

All have said that they couldn't care about other people doing whatever they want with whoever they want, but when it comes to who they personally want to date and have sexual relations with, they find certain practices and types of people extremely unattractive, so would not date them. That certainly isn't homophobic, on the contrary, it's called setting boundaries, having standards and being discerning. Surely that's the ideal for choosing a sexual partner, not feeling you have to have sex with anyone that asks so as not to appear a bigot.

I think the whole conversation would have to be quoted for someone to know whether it was a reasonable comment or not.

Things do get twisted sometimes.

I ran a bar in the gay village in Manchester in the 1990's so I have a fair bit of lived experience of gay and bi men and am well versed in how they think.

Most gay men I've spoken to about this swerve bi men like their lives depended on it, probably for the same reasons that a lot of the posters on this thread have stated, because they don't find someone who has sex with both men and women attractive.

Gay men do NOT want a man who is also having sex with a woman.

And actually bi women weren't all that popular with lesbians either.

So although you may not have met a gay man not attracted to bi men, let me tell you they absolutely exist.

It seems women aren't allowed to choose who they have sex with because unless it's who 'society' says they must sleep with then they are bi-phobic or racist or prejudice.

There are posters on this thread throwing out names left right and centre (which become meaningless when they're not even correctly applied) who would clearly be happy if women had no choice in who they're attracted to.

If this attitude is displayed outside in the real world, not just on a forum where mature women can hold their own point of view and stick to it without being browbeaten, I dread to think how younger, inexperienced women could be coerced into thinking it was not only right, but actually wrong to not want sex with bisexual men.

And how women are being told that unless they accept a trans 'lesbian' then they are prejudiced. Crazy!

If you look on r/askgaybros, you'll see most of them wouldn't seriously date a bi man though. Although it's different in the fact that men are less discerning in who they have sex with anyway.

And plenty of lesbians only want gold star lesbians, or swerve bi women.

Meanwhile if you asked a gay man what he thought of a man having sex with a woman, they'd probably mostly be very grossed out and crude about it.

I think gay and bisexual men are just as masculine, and I've dated bisexual men. But I wouldn't want a serious relationship with one now for several reasons, including the fact that I'm not a man, so couldn't perform some of the sex acts he would enjoy. Is that biphobic?

Probably but that’s not the same thing as men who are into both and that’s it.

That's a good point!

Sexual attraction to someone is just that, however, lots of factors can make you not sexually attracted to them, be it personality or humour or hygiene or politics or sexual preferences or kinks, all of which can be discerned through getting to know someone. Some people you may not be attracted to initially but they grow on you. Some people would be open to dating someone who is bisexual, others wouldn’t, preference is fine. If we all fancied the same thing then we’d all be disappointed. Also, the amount of people on this thread who have said they aren’t attracted to blond men did make me giggle.

That's really interesting - for what reason?

Heterosexuality and homosexuality are two different worlds.
Having a foot in each camp can feel strange to the gays.

As I understood it from the many, many men I spoke to about it (and it would come up frequently) gay men see women's bodies as something disgusting.

I was described and called 'Fish' as women generally were around the village. Constant myths about women having green discharge etc. The misogyny was off the charts. One man told me he wouldn't soil his body by sleeping with someone who had soiled theirs by sleeping with a fish. 🙄

There was a feeling in general that bi people were kidding themselves and needed to 'make a choice'. The epitome of biphobia! On the gay scene of all places.

And the lesbians also didn't want a woman who slept with men because they felt similar.
I don't know if these ways of thinking are different nowadays because I haven't been round that part of Mcr in years.

Working in the gay village destroyed my self esteem for a long time. It's not easy when you're experiencing misogyny day in day out from people whose rights you marched for and alongside.
I still have lots of gay friends but I cut a lot out of my life when I realised how much they despised me just for being a woman.

Yes, this!

Anyone doubting it has only to go to e.g. Brighton Pride where this attitude is not only bandied about generally but even broadcast from stages as part of the "entertainment."

My heart used to ache for my lesbian friends who would put a brave face on it all in their efforts to belong under that so-called "inclusive" umbrella of "pride."

Oh my goodness - thats horrific!!

Especially when there’s always this stereotype of gay men (usually the ones who are more camp) wanting to be around women all the time and be seen as “one of the girls”.

I’m sorry you’ve had to experience that, but strictly from a human psychology angle, I find things like this fascinating….. the deep rooted thoughts that underpin and shape human behaviour. It’s all so complex and something I wish I could understand.

Its like all of mankind, some gay men are switched on and very pro women - others are vile misogynists.
Just the same as the straight versions.

No.

It needs clarifying that it's 'not all gay men' but it's a fair amount of those that I encountered over the years. It wasn't always evident either but eventually it came out. It was always shocking.

I guess the takeaway is a fair percentage of men whether gay, straight or bi hate women and I never saw that coming because I thought me and my gay friends were 'on the same team' or something.

But we're not. It's like because they had no use for women as they didn't want to shag them therefore we were nothing to them.

I also thought that gay men would be less likely to get physically violent which was was of the reasons I worked around there so I felt safer initially.

I lost count of the amount of times I was assaulted though.

I once had a man beat the shit out of a lesbian in my bar for no reason at all. That poor lady lost her sight in one eye and her nose was smashed to pieces. He went to prison for it. There were other incidents.

I should add I do have some very lovely friends who happen to be gay and would 100% step in and protect a woman (and have done) and they do love women and I'm very lucky to have them as friends.

Yes absolutely. The stereotypes don't help.

It seems it's a man thing.

NAMALT obvs 🙄