Would you date a bisexual man?

[Seymorbutts]

Just that really. A man who you believed to be genuinely bisexual, not a gay man on his way out of the closet. Someone who’d had long-term relationships with both men and women and who you’ve never known to sleep around with either men or women. If not, why would it bother you?

I don't have any problem with women not wanting to date bisexual men.

I do have a problem with the staggeringly ignorant homophobia-rooted reasons some people on this thread have given for that, though.

Plenty of gay people don't date bisexuals so its probably a bit too early in the day to throw about accusations of homophobia.

In the case of my husband, no it wouldn’t bother me, although it would surprise me , especially as he never went to university 😉 But 1) I have been with him for many years and have an existing deep and strong relationship, I don’t know if I’d have felt the same early on in our relationship and B) just because I feel this way doesn’t prevent me being able to understand that other women might feel differently, and their feelings are just as real, reasonable and acceptable as mine.

What a load of crap. I’m not really into very masculine men and I still wouldn’t want to date/have sex with bisexual men. There are some sexual activities that don’t appeal to me and I wouldn’t want a partner to have done them. If they had, I wouldn’t want a sexual relationship with them. These aren’t only things bisexual men would do but they do include things bisexual men would do.

Some bisexual people don’t date bisexual people. Thats ok!

There is a whole demographic of (woefully misogynistic) lesbians who are exceptionally derogatory about gay women who have slept with men - to the point that they refuse to accept that they are lesbians and chant "just call yourself bisexual"
I don't like them, but they do exist.

Yes, it is!
I'm firmly in the draw your own boundaries camp.
Nobody should be coerced into relationships they're not 100% comfortable with becuase they're afraid of being barracked for being exclusionary or phobic.

It's rooted in your social conditioning that gay men are less masculine than straight men - not real men, in fact. It's not that hard to work out.

This is your opinion, not fact.

There’s been a lot of arguing from the basis of assumptions which are opinion as if they were fact on this thread. (Is there a specific word for this type of argument?)

It's rooted in your social conditioning that gay men are less masculine than straight men - not real men, in fact
I can very strongly assure you that it is not.

Actually, come to think of it, I was in a relationship with a bi man for many years, although he only came out as bi after we'd split up. He was extremely hot and very "masculine" - he attracted a lot of attention. He was also a bit fucked up. For complex childhood reasons, he was compulsively driven to keep seeking validation from sex, so being "bi" conveniently expanded the pool quite a bit.

I'm not implying that all bi men have similar motivations, just pointing out that I have actually ticked that box (albeit accidentally) and have no narrow-minded preconceptions about what "masculine" looks like.

He was probably shagging around while with me, so I guess ignorance was bliss! I dumped him because he was just too chaotic for me.

No I wouldn’t. I just wouldn’t want to have sex with a man who sleeps with men.

It’s not homophobic or biphobic to have sexual preferences.

Somewhere along the way (thanks to the trans-movement), it became acceptable to be called a bigot for your own sexual preferences. And it’s BS.

I reckon a significant number of straight men have had some same-sex experience.

Even the ‘ew’ responses, people are allowed to think ‘ew’ about some sexual acts. Anal sex between anyone is ew to me, other sexual things between men aren’t ew to me, but they’re also not a turn on so I don’t want a partner who has done sexual things with men. People don’t have to be ok with everything, especially with something as intimate as sex and it doesn’t mean they’re phobic.

Absolutely agree

We set our own boundaries with what we are comfortable with and that should be respected

We are women's boundaries always being pushed maybe that's what needs to be asked not asking not telling is we are wrong

As women. real women - females we are still being told to put men's - males, feelings before our own in 2026

and this is a site that is primarily to supports Mums

shame on Mumsnet

'Lurid language'??
Presumably we are all adults, and the language I use describes exactly what we are talking about.

I find nothing disgusting about gay sex, or anything that involves two willing participants...what anyone else does or doesn't do is no concern of mine.

You (and others) are reading what the majority of women on this thread are saying, and interpreting it to mean something entirely different.

I agree with all your posts in this thread...(the ones that I have seen because haven't been wiped out)

It seems free speech is only tolerated for some.

They’re in talks about selling a stake in their business, which I think could explain a lot about the ‘interesting’ moderation seen more lately.

If you are banned I think that's terrible because as far as I've seen of your comments on this thread before they've been deleted is that you stand up for women being able to assert their own boundaries and clearly state what is acceptable to them sexually.

On this thread there are several posters who take issue with and criticise women who have actual sexual preferences, who are doing everything they can to make those women feel bad about having those preferences.

Maybe the moderation needs moderating, it seems to be a bit topsy turvy on this thread.