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Fiancé paid for topless/ nude pool in strip club

213 replies

Coppelia74 · 27/01/2026 20:28

My partner is younger than me and likes a drink. He went for a few drinks at a friend's house to watch football and said he'd get the bus home. I got a text after 8pm saying he'd missed the bus and would get a cab. .Turned up after 3am (I was asleep so unsure exactly when he returned). He was apologetic and said he stayed at his mates. What he didnt realise is that I found a cloakroom ticket in his bag saying date and time- the night in question. I asked again the next day....looked me in the eye when I asked if he only went to his friend's. He went sniffling upstairs saying he couldn't stand the silence. I followed and shoved the ticket under his face. He started crying and said he went to the very strip club again that he swore he'd never return to a year or so ago. I went ballistic and cried and called him a sick little creep going there let alone on his own. Two days later I asked what happened. He played pool in the games room. Paid £200!!!!! Seems sketchy on the details and feigned ignorance when I mentioned Twister and the VIP toilet. 3 games of pool at 50 quid each for topless according to the website. He paid 200 which would be the cost for naked. Said he "just wanted to play pool and they said it had to be topless". What the hell else did he do? And why is it so expensive?! And why does he have amnesia over the VIP loo??! I feel sick just looking at him. Always emphasises the no touch rule which I know is a load of crap in those dives. Plus extras at the right price. He went to another night club afterwards but paid entry and came straight out again. But until 3am???!! I now cant believe anything he says to me. So distraught. Still not over the first time. He used to go a lot apparently, back in the day. What to do?

OP posts:
Jellybunny56 · 27/01/2026 20:30

Honestly, leave. Too much hassle, life does not have to be this hard.

Wickedlittledancer · 27/01/2026 20:30

What do you mean what to do, he’s cheating on you and lying to you. You either accept that in a relationship or end it. I’d recommend the latter.

EachotherAndAnother · 27/01/2026 20:32

What to do? That's easy enough. Get rid of him now, before you're legally tied to him. He's not going to change , and it's a whole lot harder to split after marriage than before. There are decent men out there who won't treat you with absolute contempt - don't settle for this misogynistic twat.

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 27/01/2026 20:33

If it’s a dealbreaker for you (and it should be), you break up. If it’s not, you don’t. Those are your options.

somanychristmaslights · 27/01/2026 20:36

Absolutely a deal breaker for me. I couldn’t even have his hands touching me. If you stay with him, you’ll have to put up with this behaviour forever. You’re worth more than that.

ChaToilLeam · 27/01/2026 20:38

Just ditch this lying loser. You won't regret it.

Goldluckcharm · 27/01/2026 20:40

Honestly speaking? Cut your losses and get rid. Imagine having to deal with this when you're married with kids.

Coppelia74 · 27/01/2026 20:40

He acknowledged its cheating which he'd never really thought of that sort of thing as before. So now of course I'm wondering if more went on than he's admitting to. Enough detail to make him seem honest, but enough to leave me with questions.

OP posts:
ResusciAnnie · 27/01/2026 20:41

You mean ex-fiance right? Too much drama, find someone else!

Userengage · 27/01/2026 20:42

By letting him get away with it the first time, you’re saying it’s ok with you - why would he change? You’re cool with it, no?

ResusciAnnie · 27/01/2026 20:42

Coppelia74 · 27/01/2026 20:40

He acknowledged its cheating which he'd never really thought of that sort of thing as before. So now of course I'm wondering if more went on than he's admitting to. Enough detail to make him seem honest, but enough to leave me with questions.

There’s so much wrong with that post tbh. He’s not honest if he’s cheated. Don’t stick around for it to happen for a third time FFS.

canuckup · 27/01/2026 20:42

Just leave this guy and move on

Coppelia74 · 27/01/2026 20:43

I'm too old for kids and never wanted any and neither does he. But even so.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 27/01/2026 20:45

He's a greasy slimeball wanting to ogle nude women on show. How can you stoop so low, you can't be that desperate to have a man surely??

Goldluckcharm · 27/01/2026 20:48

Coppelia74 · 27/01/2026 20:43

I'm too old for kids and never wanted any and neither does he. But even so.

Fair enough - even more reason why you do not need this dead weight in your life. Go out and enjoy your life instead.

Deadringer · 27/01/2026 20:49

Dump him he is a creep.

unbelievablybelievable · 27/01/2026 20:50

I don't know what a VIP toilet is, but it sounds like something worth ending the relationship over.

Honestly, naked twister? Is that paying to watch naked women playing twister so you get a good look up there? That doesn't sound like a normal strip club, it sounds like a brothel.

Sugarsugarcane · 27/01/2026 20:52

Christ you both need to grow up, what a shit show of a relationship

AwfullyGood · 27/01/2026 20:52

You can be as angry, sad, disappointed, disgusted as you want (& rightly so) but it won't change a thing.

You're not married and fon't have kids wiyh him so why are you still hanging on to a deadbeat man who behaves like this.

He won't change and a wedding is no cure for a bad relationship.

MightyGoldBear · 27/01/2026 20:54

He thinks so little of women (that includes you op)he believes he is entitled to pay them to access them like a commodity.

You deserve sooooo much better. Get some counselling and figure out why you don't beleive you do. I wouldn't waste another minute on this little boy.

pikkumyy77 · 27/01/2026 20:59

Coppelia74 · 27/01/2026 20:43

I'm too old for kids and never wanted any and neither does he. But even so.

You don’t really know him at all. Whether he wants kids or not. Or whether he doesn’t want them with you. You don’t know him at all because you refuse to accept him for who he is: weak, promiscuous, spendthrift, a liar.

canisquaeso · 27/01/2026 21:01

While I don’t necessarily see it as cheating (unless there was more going on), I find it so cringe and sleazy I think I’d struggle to look past it, really.

Is he still immature? Hanging out with “bro” types?

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 27/01/2026 21:18

What’s a VIP toilet??

Fullmoan · 27/01/2026 21:19

How is he not your ex yet? Grim

Barrellturn · 27/01/2026 21:20

Sounds like an exhausting relationship. It's not supposed to be this difficult.