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Fiancé paid for topless/ nude pool in strip club

213 replies

Coppelia74 · 27/01/2026 20:28

My partner is younger than me and likes a drink. He went for a few drinks at a friend's house to watch football and said he'd get the bus home. I got a text after 8pm saying he'd missed the bus and would get a cab. .Turned up after 3am (I was asleep so unsure exactly when he returned). He was apologetic and said he stayed at his mates. What he didnt realise is that I found a cloakroom ticket in his bag saying date and time- the night in question. I asked again the next day....looked me in the eye when I asked if he only went to his friend's. He went sniffling upstairs saying he couldn't stand the silence. I followed and shoved the ticket under his face. He started crying and said he went to the very strip club again that he swore he'd never return to a year or so ago. I went ballistic and cried and called him a sick little creep going there let alone on his own. Two days later I asked what happened. He played pool in the games room. Paid £200!!!!! Seems sketchy on the details and feigned ignorance when I mentioned Twister and the VIP toilet. 3 games of pool at 50 quid each for topless according to the website. He paid 200 which would be the cost for naked. Said he "just wanted to play pool and they said it had to be topless". What the hell else did he do? And why is it so expensive?! And why does he have amnesia over the VIP loo??! I feel sick just looking at him. Always emphasises the no touch rule which I know is a load of crap in those dives. Plus extras at the right price. He went to another night club afterwards but paid entry and came straight out again. But until 3am???!! I now cant believe anything he says to me. So distraught. Still not over the first time. He used to go a lot apparently, back in the day. What to do?

OP posts:
Coppelia74 · 28/01/2026 16:47

unbelievablybelievable · 27/01/2026 22:02

Omfg! I've just worked it out. A VIP toilet is so you can wank without being disturbed isn't it? 🤢

Apparently it's like the private booths where the evening can be more intimate.

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · 28/01/2026 16:49

Ugh. How old is he like 20?!

Mischance · 28/01/2026 16:55

Stop agonising over what might or might not have happened and get this travesty of a man out of your life.

Coppelia74 · 28/01/2026 19:38

fashionqueen0123 · 28/01/2026 16:49

Ugh. How old is he like 20?!

Nearer 40

OP posts:
EachotherAndAnother · 28/01/2026 19:49

Coppelia74 · 28/01/2026 16:47

Apparently it's like the private booths where the evening can be more intimate.

Right. And what do you think could possibly have been transpiring between this prince of a man and his purchased woman (women?) that necessitated a private / intimate space?
And where does the toilet come into it?

rageconsumesme · 28/01/2026 20:05

Run.

ThePrecisionsifthisislove · 28/01/2026 21:33

Had to laugh at his earlier excuse 'only wanted a game of pool'and that just so happened to be with a half/naked woman that you paid big bucks for.
What an idiot.

MrsLizzieDarcy · 28/01/2026 21:36

That's grim. I couldn't ever look him in the eye again.

NoYourNameChanged · 28/01/2026 21:39

Fucking hell, just yet another man doing gross, inadequate man things 🤢 don’t tolerate this bullshit op, he’s a sleazy little creep with no respect for you or, on a wider level, for women generally.

Wemdubz · 28/01/2026 21:48

What are you going to do OP?

fashionqueen0123 · 28/01/2026 22:03

Coppelia74 · 28/01/2026 19:38

Nearer 40

🤢 you can do so much better

Coppelia74 · 02/02/2026 07:41

He's not mentioned anything more about it even though I still have questions. I know what he CAN be like but if I'd known the half of what he did when I met him I wouldn't have allowed myself to embark on a relationship with him.If he was always a piece of shit it would be easy to walk away. But comments telling me to grow up etc don't help. I'm not a silly little girl. I'm in my early 50s and have gone through a lot if grief this year and really can't face going it alone after the year I've had.

OP posts:
Pedallleur · 02/02/2026 07:46

Just give him the free pass then. You know what he has done and will do again. You are unhappy about it but not enough to call it quits.

Judgejudysno1fan · 02/02/2026 07:47

unbelievablybelievable · 27/01/2026 20:50

I don't know what a VIP toilet is, but it sounds like something worth ending the relationship over.

Honestly, naked twister? Is that paying to watch naked women playing twister so you get a good look up there? That doesn't sound like a normal strip club, it sounds like a brothel.

Sounds vile.
The whole thing.

What on earth is a vip toilet.
And I guess if youre paying for naked pool youre paying to play snooker with naked women who hook a leg up on the side of the pool table before potting a ball. With everything on display.
I would kill my husband.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 02/02/2026 07:53

Coppelia74 · 02/02/2026 07:41

He's not mentioned anything more about it even though I still have questions. I know what he CAN be like but if I'd known the half of what he did when I met him I wouldn't have allowed myself to embark on a relationship with him.If he was always a piece of shit it would be easy to walk away. But comments telling me to grow up etc don't help. I'm not a silly little girl. I'm in my early 50s and have gone through a lot if grief this year and really can't face going it alone after the year I've had.

Wouldn’t being on your own be a lot less stressful?
Relationships are supposed to enhance your life not cause you this level of stress and upset.

CrikeyNumpty · 02/02/2026 07:54

Sorry to hear about your grief this year. But he is adding to it and will continue to do so. He is a liar and a creep. You can’t change him, you shouldn’t want to, but you are clinging on. There is no point trying to ascertain the truth of his visit, it is who is he and will continue to be. If you want to keep him just accept he will keep on lying, he will keep on paying for women sexually, he will keep on treating you with contempt. That’s the deal. Stay and accept he is a creepy liar in some kind of fake relationship or leave and try and find the strength to be on your own for a while or possibly for ever. It is hard to change in middle age, but do you really want this forever?

somanychristmaslights · 02/02/2026 07:54

Coppelia74 · 02/02/2026 07:41

He's not mentioned anything more about it even though I still have questions. I know what he CAN be like but if I'd known the half of what he did when I met him I wouldn't have allowed myself to embark on a relationship with him.If he was always a piece of shit it would be easy to walk away. But comments telling me to grow up etc don't help. I'm not a silly little girl. I'm in my early 50s and have gone through a lot if grief this year and really can't face going it alone after the year I've had.

If you’re not willing to walk away, then you’ll have to accept that this will continue to happen.

Wintersgirl · 02/02/2026 07:57

Coppelia74 · 27/01/2026 20:40

He acknowledged its cheating which he'd never really thought of that sort of thing as before. So now of course I'm wondering if more went on than he's admitting to. Enough detail to make him seem honest, but enough to leave me with questions.

I honestly wouldn't bother finding out the details, you have enough to go on, just leave.

Judgejudysno1fan · 02/02/2026 07:58

Coppelia74 · 02/02/2026 07:41

He's not mentioned anything more about it even though I still have questions. I know what he CAN be like but if I'd known the half of what he did when I met him I wouldn't have allowed myself to embark on a relationship with him.If he was always a piece of shit it would be easy to walk away. But comments telling me to grow up etc don't help. I'm not a silly little girl. I'm in my early 50s and have gone through a lot if grief this year and really can't face going it alone after the year I've had.

You cant face going the year alone ? He's added to your stress. Come on, op. Bin him.

Coppelia74 · 02/02/2026 07:58

He usually tells his dad of any wrongdoings. All he said was that he stayed out all night but omitted the crucial detail,although he did tell him the previous time he went. The fact t he hasn't been honest with his dad- who he idolise - this time, speaks volumes. Either he did more than just play pool, or he's ashamed about the money spent, or he doesn't want his dad to think less if him.

OP posts:
Coppelia74 · 02/02/2026 08:03

Judgejudysno1fan · 02/02/2026 07:47

Sounds vile.
The whole thing.

What on earth is a vip toilet.
And I guess if youre paying for naked pool youre paying to play snooker with naked women who hook a leg up on the side of the pool table before potting a ball. With everything on display.
I would kill my husband.

Oh god I hadn't even thought of that. I just thought they'd bend over a bit more obviously. Ewww. How utterly crass. He made out he was sexually quite shy in the beginning. How can men not even creep themselves out going to those places?!

OP posts:
bigboykitty · 02/02/2026 08:05

You describe a whole load of horrendous behaviour that would be a complete dealbreaker in 95% of relationships and tag on at the end of that description 'what to do?', as if that's even a question. Are you hoping people here will make excuses for him so you can feel validated in your decision to stay with him? You know you have no intention of leaving him. He knows this too. He will treat you like this until you stop him.

DaisyChain505 · 02/02/2026 08:06

He’s repeated awful behaviour. This is who he is, he’s showed you so believe him.

He’s a dirt bag and isn’t going to change.

He has no respect for you as his partner and no respect for women in general if this is the sort of place he enjoys going to.

Have respect for yourself and leave.

If you don’t too spend the rest of your life not trusting him, resentment will build and you’ll just be waiting for the next time it happens and believe me that time will come.

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 02/02/2026 08:06

Women who can’t be alone (emotionally, practically, financially) are doomed to bad relationships with pointless men.

You need to reframe this as a positive choice - you’re getting rid of rubbish, not suffering another loss.

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 02/02/2026 08:07

Coppelia74 · 02/02/2026 08:03

Oh god I hadn't even thought of that. I just thought they'd bend over a bit more obviously. Ewww. How utterly crass. He made out he was sexually quite shy in the beginning. How can men not even creep themselves out going to those places?!

Because men like this don’t see women as real people.

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