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Fiancé paid for topless/ nude pool in strip club

213 replies

Coppelia74 · 27/01/2026 20:28

My partner is younger than me and likes a drink. He went for a few drinks at a friend's house to watch football and said he'd get the bus home. I got a text after 8pm saying he'd missed the bus and would get a cab. .Turned up after 3am (I was asleep so unsure exactly when he returned). He was apologetic and said he stayed at his mates. What he didnt realise is that I found a cloakroom ticket in his bag saying date and time- the night in question. I asked again the next day....looked me in the eye when I asked if he only went to his friend's. He went sniffling upstairs saying he couldn't stand the silence. I followed and shoved the ticket under his face. He started crying and said he went to the very strip club again that he swore he'd never return to a year or so ago. I went ballistic and cried and called him a sick little creep going there let alone on his own. Two days later I asked what happened. He played pool in the games room. Paid £200!!!!! Seems sketchy on the details and feigned ignorance when I mentioned Twister and the VIP toilet. 3 games of pool at 50 quid each for topless according to the website. He paid 200 which would be the cost for naked. Said he "just wanted to play pool and they said it had to be topless". What the hell else did he do? And why is it so expensive?! And why does he have amnesia over the VIP loo??! I feel sick just looking at him. Always emphasises the no touch rule which I know is a load of crap in those dives. Plus extras at the right price. He went to another night club afterwards but paid entry and came straight out again. But until 3am???!! I now cant believe anything he says to me. So distraught. Still not over the first time. He used to go a lot apparently, back in the day. What to do?

OP posts:
bbcnewsboos · 13/02/2026 14:59

I would leave, sorry but he isn’t going to change. There’s ones thing going as a young lad for a laugh, that can be forgotten but not as a grown man with a partner and possibly kids, he should know better

SimplyBedeviled · 13/02/2026 14:59

Sidebeforeself · 13/02/2026 13:51

Why are you believing to chose some things when you know he has repeatedly lied to you? What the balance of probability here? Trust doesnt work like that . Trust means you have no reason to believe something ….you have multiple reasons!

I’m not going to post anymore OP. I shared my experience in good faith hoping you would take some strength from that but you seem determined to stay with a loser , be a victim and blame others for your own shortcomings.

This! Why on earth don’t you just dump him??

Blondeshavemorefun · 13/02/2026 15:00

Coppelia74 · 13/02/2026 11:50

I do blame the women as he told them he had a fiancee and they still go in for the kill. So much for the sisterhood. It's also a fact that many sex workers have been abused in the past and in some warped way they think they're now in control. A friend of mine knows the guy who runs that place as she said hes a creep too. Must go with the territory.

He told them he had a fiance ie you - but he still went an saw /looked

you are mad to put up with this

Yestocoffeeatnight86 · 13/02/2026 15:01

Coppelia74 · 13/02/2026 11:50

I do blame the women as he told them he had a fiancee and they still go in for the kill. So much for the sisterhood. It's also a fact that many sex workers have been abused in the past and in some warped way they think they're now in control. A friend of mine knows the guy who runs that place as she said hes a creep too. Must go with the territory.

I’ve lost sympathy for you now. Blaming the women?! Jesus.

pinkdelight · 13/02/2026 15:12

Yestocoffeeatnight86 · 13/02/2026 15:01

I’ve lost sympathy for you now. Blaming the women?! Jesus.

Quite! The 'sisterhood' is meant to cross its legs while the married/engaged men tumble helplessly into stripclubs with their wallets open. And that take on the 'warped' mindset of abused women shows zero insight. It's all contorted to let OP keep hold of her delusion that there's anything worth saving with this sleaze.

Skybluepinky · 13/02/2026 15:58

Kick to kerb and move on.

BlimeyOReillyO · 13/02/2026 19:39

Coppelia74 · 13/02/2026 11:50

I do blame the women as he told them he had a fiancee and they still go in for the kill. So much for the sisterhood. It's also a fact that many sex workers have been abused in the past and in some warped way they think they're now in control. A friend of mine knows the guy who runs that place as she said hes a creep too. Must go with the territory.

Jesus fucking Christ!!

You need to get a fucking grip.. you blame the women!!

Acommonreader · 13/02/2026 20:32

Coppelia74 · 02/02/2026 07:41

He's not mentioned anything more about it even though I still have questions. I know what he CAN be like but if I'd known the half of what he did when I met him I wouldn't have allowed myself to embark on a relationship with him.If he was always a piece of shit it would be easy to walk away. But comments telling me to grow up etc don't help. I'm not a silly little girl. I'm in my early 50s and have gone through a lot if grief this year and really can't face going it alone after the year I've had.

I cannot fathom how going through life alone could be worse than your current set up. Leave him. You deserve better and will manage just fine without the lying sleaze bag.

Acommonreader · 13/02/2026 20:34

Coppelia74 · 02/02/2026 08:08

It would, but I guess I'm still attached to the version of him that I fell for. I'm an idiot. Believe me, he knows I'm still sickened by his behaviour. But the gamble is, will he repeat this cycle of hedonistic escapism whenever things get tough? He's been there twice in the 2 and a bit years we've been together which isn't exactly a habit, but nonetheless, the frequency does in no way eradicate the hurt caused on both occasions.

There is no gamble whatsoever. He has shown you exactly who he is. He also now knows that you will accept being treated like this. Expect worse. Leave him and have a better future.

throwawayimplantchat · 13/02/2026 20:42

Think about all the nice stuff you could have done for yourself in the time you’ve been obsessively (in your words) researching what happens in these seedy places and how sex workers are treated by men like your boyfriend. You could have done such nice things, pampered yourself, seen loved ones, been to new places…

Life is too short to be with someone you (rightly) have lost respect for, with someone who has a different moral framework to you or with someone you don’t trust. This guy ticks all three of those boxes.

Don’t waste any more of your one, precious life with a creepy, pervy liar. You can’t salvage this relationship. It’s not going to be a healthy one, ever. So it’s better to be single than with someone making you use up so much time and energy on something toxic and dysfunctional.

Ending it is the only healthy choice.

dairydebris · 13/02/2026 20:43

I'll never understand why women post on here about the shit things their partners do, then talk themselves into staying with them despite all that. It's thoroughly depressing.

somanychristmaslights · 13/02/2026 20:54

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somanychristmaslights · 13/02/2026 22:28

See you back here soon complaining about him again 🙄

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