New neighbour is too much. What to do?

[WiseBearOrMare]

Moved in 48 hours ago.

Knock on the door within 10 minutes of arriving with the first load of boxes.

Neighbour said (something along the lines of) ‘Hi! I’m Sue from Number 9. So where have you travelled from? Where are you working at the moment? Where’s the kids, do you have any?’

All asked within seconds of each other. Seemed quite intrusive for a first meeting.

I realised straight away that she’s not my immediate neighbour that’s attached to me because of the door number. I live in a semi detached, just one other house. She actually lives across the road, a little to the right. New build housing estate so all quite close

Anyway, we were pressed for time because of DS/DD so we had to get moving. 2 hours later, she knocks again saying she’s got pizzas on the way. And to pop round for a break

I politely said thank you but I couldn’t possibly, I desperately needed to get things finished for today. She said ‘Okay raised eyebrow. Suit yourself!’ And off she went.

That evening a piece of paper with the estate’s WhatsApp group number came through. I added myself. She then must’ve got my number from that and messaged me

She said ‘Getting you a moving in gift. Anything you fancy? Preferably Amazon! I’m a Prime girl me haha’

I politely declined and said we had all we needed, but she was too kind and thank you so much. She just blue ticked that

Hours later I waved to her with a smile, and she gave me a glare and ignored me. I was packing my boot up and she made me bloody jump! She asked me if I had anyone in my phone contacts that does plumbing. I said I didn’t. The said Oh. And then said ‘We help each other on this estate. That’s just how it is’

I’ve just had a delivery man turn up at my door with a bunch of flowers. With my name on.

5 mins later, a delivery man from somewhere else asking if I’d take in a parcel for her number?! Seems strange. Why didn’t he try a direct neighbour first?

My actual neighbours have just smiled a hello and that’s been that. They’re the complete opposite and seem a bit shy, thankfully!

Small estate of about 20 houses max I think. But everyone I’ve made eye contact with has just given a smile, maybe a friendly wave and hi. That’s it

Is she just overly nice and innocently overstepping the mark? Or is this going to bring an ongoing nightmare?

What have I read! Wtf. Bat shit crazy 🤪

Haha, my mum always dished up our mashed potato with an ice cream scoop.

OP - I bet this woman's immediate neighbours will have some tales to tell in time. Imagine living right over the fence to her! They were probably watching from behind their curtains and laying bets on how quickly she'd be round bothering you.

Next time, invite her in with her pizzas, draw the curtains, light some black candles, sit in a circle holding hands and recite:
In nomine Dei nostri Satanas Luciferi Excelsi.

Should do the trick.

We moved into our place about 10 years ago

Next door died and the new neighbours moved in

We are polite,but very much keep ourselves to ourselves

She tried to force a friendship by talking at us if she saw us

Again,we where polite but kept it cool

Well,one day she showed up on our doorstep,screaming at us for parking outside our own house

When that failed to get a rise,she rang the police on us for not clapping on our doorstep during covid (we'd just found out my darling fil had cancer and wasn't going to make it)

She then started banging on our door to tell us she's 'gonna tell your landlord on you,get you kicked out and my mate can move in' (good luck love,we own our house)

She then went scorched earth on us to the other neighbours-i could hear her spouting her lies about us to them in the street-most just nodded at her and walked off

We just kept ignoring her and being super polite to everyone else

She still gives us dirty looks while cowering as if we're dangerous if we see her but we just ignore her and carry on

I swear she's got some personally disorder that makes her think she's queen bee and we are all her subjects to tug on her forelocks

Leave the WhatsApp’s on unread for ever!

My ‘school dinner mash’ was served with an ice cream scoop!

Funny, I've never questioned that it was an ice cream scoop, until now! 😊

Same.
Our ndn’s would just waltz in the back door and if they were singing ‘we’re all off to sunny Spain,’ we knew they’d booked their holiday. 😂
I don’t know how my dp’s put up with it.

No, nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

(film reference)

This is my worst nightmare lmao.

I had intrusive neighbours before but it quickly transpired they were the criminal kind of intrusive. Found the husband with my purse in his hands while I was moving in and then they’d knock every other day asking if I needed something, for our kids to play together, this and that.

Turned out he had left prison not long ago, then started refusing paying rent but my poor landlady was too scared. I think they ended up staying there for free 2+ years til they got a council spot.

Once you find an opportunity to chat with one of your normal neighbours, I'm sure you might find out a little more about this lady... I'd rather risk facing her scorn and disapproving look, than accept the over-the-top gifts that will ultimately open up your door to her invading your personal life on a daily basis.

It depends who else is on it, and how its used.
Ours is great - we moved here about 18 months ago & the following day a chap across the road came over, introduced himself & asked if i wanted to be added. It's proved really useful - people are v quick to help out if anyone shouts for advice or practical help - but so much depends on the people involved.

I'd go for 'polite wave & smile' with no.9 OP and hopefully your other neighbours are lovely but a little less intense!

Oh jeez. Most estates have someone like her. Sounds like she’s bored and doesn’t understand boundaries. Popping over to say hello would be enough. Pizza’s, flowers, just all OTT. Keep friendly, but also keep a distance.

Stay polite but distant.
stay in the WhatsApp but don’t post.
Dont be afraid of offending a stranger to protect your peace !

Set boundaries! Be polite but aloof. Some people like being close with their neighbours, others don't. But start as you mean to go on.

When I moved in, my immediate neighbour shouted for me to go round and have a cup of tea straight away. The neighbour opposite shouted that he'd get his chainsaw out at the cars sounding their horns at my removal van!

Neighbour opposite turned out to be a sweetheart and he's passed away now. Immediate neighbour drops the free paper through my door each week, yesterday she also gave me a fresh loaf and a cream éclair.

I've been here six years now and it's just like living on Coronation Street! A drawer in my kitchen has at least half a dozen keys for neighbours' houses. Personally, I love it. Makes me feel safe.

• headphones/airpods whenever you leave the house and if she tries to talk to you politely tap them and say you can’t talk right now
• don’t accept parcels on her behalf, I had to put a notice up on our door to stop the slew of delivery drivers knocking.
• if she knocks grab your phone and answer whilst “on a call” so can’t chat
• never accept food of any kind, fake intolerances if you have to if you’re trying to be polite
• dont start swapping Christmas gifts whatever you do, she will likely show up with something for you, a polite thank you but I really don’t want to get into swapping gifts with neighbours as it gets a bit much.
• when you put balloons or banners or anything out indicating a birthday, be prepared for to take note and use this info to either start showing up yearly with gifts and a card, knocking asking what you/the kids/dh would like, baking a cake.
• consistently polite, firm boundaries. Smile and nod but always be aloof and busy and doing something, too busy to stop.

signed
someone who attracts these psychos like I’ve got a bloody homing beacon attached to my head 😭

the stories I could share 😂

@Bagwyllydiart - one of my all time favourite films!

didnt you get ice cream scoops of potato at school?.we did and my husband would do it now if he could !

You're fresh blood. The other neighbours probably have the measure of her and are keeping back, watching to see how this all pans out.

I suspect she is quite lonely but her looniness has meant others keep her at arms length. But boundaries will be key here...establish them early.

We had a similar experience when we moved but it was a man…………he is married but he is the most obnoxious, overbearing busybody!
The day after we moved in he knocked on our door and introduced himself - got no problem with that - but he then went on to say that we needed to get the garden sorted as there was an annual competition on the street where the residents voted the best garden (there wasn’t) .
He then asked what brand of coffee we drank and did we have xxxx biscuits because he didn’t like cheap ones and would be coming for coffee at such and such time every day!
Feeling a bit caught off guard I told a little fib and claimed that we didn’t drink coffee and never bought it he then went on to say ‘well, you can buy some in for us’. All the time I am trying to close the bloody door and he is getting closer and closer, he really was quite intimidating.

Years later, we watch this couple and their routine of visiting particular neighbours on certain days at specified times and think……….that could have been us!

Absolute bloody nightmare @MyDeftDuck , and it is incredibly disturbing because it's such a massive violation, doing it on your own doorstep. Bloody loon.

How you go on now for the next six to eight weeks will set the tone for your entire tenure.

Keep doing what you are doing. Smiling and nodding but nothing much beyond that.

She will likely have no friends at all because she is so full on and that is why you are seeing what you are seeing.

Normal people get to know their neighbours organically but she is one pushy mare desperate to claim you from the outset as a friend when friendships don't work that way.

I'm on the extreme inner end of invertedness and this sort of thing would make me ill with stress.

When we'd bought our first flat , we moved in ok , no problems .
About a week later , dh was putting up a shelf ( we were very young , and it was probably his first time of having a drill in his hand )
When a knock at the door , and the neighbour next door had her little dog in her arms saying the noise was scaring him and could they come in and watch so he could see nothing to be scared off . Reader we let her in ! 😂
This was years ago and we no longer live there and these days I'd be laughing at her and shutting the door !

She's just trying to be nice OP. She'll come in handy if you go on holiday and need someone to keep an eye on the house. I think you should pop round and give her a spare set of keys for this purpose or if you get locked out etc.

I have one of these too.

When we moved in, he turned up at our house with a bottle of wine and flowers.

My mum said "you've got to be careful of people who are too friendly straight away. They usually turn out to be awful."

She was right. We're in a terrace and he alienated his neighbour on the other side so badly by complaining about household noise and her children that she's stopped talking to him.

We have young kids and he writes us long emails in which he invents entire scenarios based off a few noises that he must be concentrating to hear through the wall.

Most of his scenarios imply we're abusing our kids. For example, one morning, my youngest was singing "Row Row Row" (your boat) and then my eldest dropped his sippy cup downstairs. An hour later, our neighbour emailed complaining that our eldest was screaming "No, no, no" in terror and then "there was a loud bump down the stairs"...

Honestly, OP, the red flags are waving.

Avoid... avoid.... avoid...

Have you seen the Inside Number 9 episode with the new neighbours, OP? Just saying …