New neighbour is too much. What to do?

[WiseBearOrMare]

Moved in 48 hours ago.

Knock on the door within 10 minutes of arriving with the first load of boxes.

Neighbour said (something along the lines of) ‘Hi! I’m Sue from Number 9. So where have you travelled from? Where are you working at the moment? Where’s the kids, do you have any?’

All asked within seconds of each other. Seemed quite intrusive for a first meeting.

I realised straight away that she’s not my immediate neighbour that’s attached to me because of the door number. I live in a semi detached, just one other house. She actually lives across the road, a little to the right. New build housing estate so all quite close

Anyway, we were pressed for time because of DS/DD so we had to get moving. 2 hours later, she knocks again saying she’s got pizzas on the way. And to pop round for a break

I politely said thank you but I couldn’t possibly, I desperately needed to get things finished for today. She said ‘Okay raised eyebrow. Suit yourself!’ And off she went.

That evening a piece of paper with the estate’s WhatsApp group number came through. I added myself. She then must’ve got my number from that and messaged me

She said ‘Getting you a moving in gift. Anything you fancy? Preferably Amazon! I’m a Prime girl me haha’

I politely declined and said we had all we needed, but she was too kind and thank you so much. She just blue ticked that

Hours later I waved to her with a smile, and she gave me a glare and ignored me. I was packing my boot up and she made me bloody jump! She asked me if I had anyone in my phone contacts that does plumbing. I said I didn’t. The said Oh. And then said ‘We help each other on this estate. That’s just how it is’

I’ve just had a delivery man turn up at my door with a bunch of flowers. With my name on.

5 mins later, a delivery man from somewhere else asking if I’d take in a parcel for her number?! Seems strange. Why didn’t he try a direct neighbour first?

My actual neighbours have just smiled a hello and that’s been that. They’re the complete opposite and seem a bit shy, thankfully!

Small estate of about 20 houses max I think. But everyone I’ve made eye contact with has just given a smile, maybe a friendly wave and hi. That’s it

Is she just overly nice and innocently overstepping the mark? Or is this going to bring an ongoing nightmare?

I’m American and even I think she sounds unhinged! XD

Due to past experience, id avoid any WhatsApp group like the plague.
They're usually for small minded people.

Next time he calls round or messages just tell her you've moved to a quieter estate for the peace & quiet & like to keep yourselves to yourselves. Explain you had 'busy body' neighbours at your last home so you're looking forward to a more relaxed area without the hassle of batting off loopy people who overstep the next door 'neighbour friend' mark. She should get the hint from that conversation hopefully.

To be fair, you’re in dodgy territory doing something like that. If someone had done that to me, I almost certainly won’t have been able to eat them as I’m vegan, so she will have wasted her money. That would’ve been on her, not me.

I think she’s hoping to find out info so she can be the one going to others and gossiping about the new neighbour.
suspect she’s at her windows watching your every move, or watching you on a ring doorbell!
Maybe introduce yourself on the group chat, a kind of ‘hi I’m @WiseBearOrMare at number 8, I’m new to the estate but haven’t moved far as free up in… or I’m new to the area, I’ve moved from up north / down south etc…. Have 2 kids and a cat ! Let everyone welcome you to the estate and then thank them and hopefully she’ll leave you alone as you’ve told everyone all you’re willing to divulge and she’s run out of things to ask 😂😂

I think I'd ask one of the others in the street, just as you're saying hello ( don't make a big thing if it) just say Sue( whatever your name is) seems very friendly, then watch their reaction or see what they say. They may feel exactly the same, or they could give you more info about her situation. She could have been through a recent bereavement, or she could have mental health issues, but as you don't really know her at all, ask someone who does, abd you can comd to a more informed decision about how you want to handle your relationship with her. I personally think she is mainly what the others say tbh. I live in a secluded cottage in the welsh hills, for these reasons and I am a bit of a hermit. I do have a husband and we both don't like having neighbours. Except for the sheep, trees, butterflies and bees. Hope it all settles down for you anyway, and you get to love your new home and the neighbourhood. Take care

Talking to anyone about her risks it getting back to her, then you seem like the gossipy one.
Chinese whispers and all that.

People manage to start gossip when you've said nothing at all, don't give them ammunition.

I meant, simply say she seems friendly, and let them do the talking. I didn't mean enter into gossip. I just think I'd want to know more about the general consensus. I wouldn't mention how I had found her, other than friendly. After all it doesn't look like either of you are planning to move , but I can see what you're saying here 😊

Could actually be a Narc - my STBX husband always tried to ingratiate himself with everyone like this. He actually went to the funeral of our new neighbour (mum and older daughter had moved in a few months before the mother died in an accident) - we’d only actually spoken about twice. Popping in to show your respects is one thing - proceeding to then make it about him by getting up and doing a speech at the wake was completely another!)

Red apples, thsnk goodness he's your hopefully vstbx! There are so many of them about, and if this neighbour is one, she'll.be incapable of change, will lack insight and that's a worry. When you know more about her, and she does have a persaloty disorder such as Narcacistic, then you're definitely better off keeping your distance. I've had a couple of those in my life. I went no contact. Of course we're catastrophising here, and time will tell! In fact that's one of the main reason we moved from the city of my birth , across the country 200 miles away...she was my mother, and made my life hell. Anyway going off track here. that's the .mental health nurse in me!

p.s definitely not persaloty!😆 personality.