New neighbour is too much. What to do?

[WiseBearOrMare]

Moved in 48 hours ago.

Knock on the door within 10 minutes of arriving with the first load of boxes.

Neighbour said (something along the lines of) ‘Hi! I’m Sue from Number 9. So where have you travelled from? Where are you working at the moment? Where’s the kids, do you have any?’

All asked within seconds of each other. Seemed quite intrusive for a first meeting.

I realised straight away that she’s not my immediate neighbour that’s attached to me because of the door number. I live in a semi detached, just one other house. She actually lives across the road, a little to the right. New build housing estate so all quite close

Anyway, we were pressed for time because of DS/DD so we had to get moving. 2 hours later, she knocks again saying she’s got pizzas on the way. And to pop round for a break

I politely said thank you but I couldn’t possibly, I desperately needed to get things finished for today. She said ‘Okay raised eyebrow. Suit yourself!’ And off she went.

That evening a piece of paper with the estate’s WhatsApp group number came through. I added myself. She then must’ve got my number from that and messaged me

She said ‘Getting you a moving in gift. Anything you fancy? Preferably Amazon! I’m a Prime girl me haha’

I politely declined and said we had all we needed, but she was too kind and thank you so much. She just blue ticked that

Hours later I waved to her with a smile, and she gave me a glare and ignored me. I was packing my boot up and she made me bloody jump! She asked me if I had anyone in my phone contacts that does plumbing. I said I didn’t. The said Oh. And then said ‘We help each other on this estate. That’s just how it is’

I’ve just had a delivery man turn up at my door with a bunch of flowers. With my name on.

5 mins later, a delivery man from somewhere else asking if I’d take in a parcel for her number?! Seems strange. Why didn’t he try a direct neighbour first?

My actual neighbours have just smiled a hello and that’s been that. They’re the complete opposite and seem a bit shy, thankfully!

Small estate of about 20 houses max I think. But everyone I’ve made eye contact with has just given a smile, maybe a friendly wave and hi. That’s it

Is she just overly nice and innocently overstepping the mark? Or is this going to bring an ongoing nightmare?

lol what? A fool of myself amongst a load of people I don’t know and who don’t know me? You’re right. Absolutely fecking mortified 😂

I think the truth is you were serious and read the rest of the thread and realised you were a moron so played the whole ‘oh duh it was just a joke’ card.

I agree she should've asked and OP didn't have to accept of course as is her choice. but I think we're far to cynical about neighbours these days, I remember our neighbours being there like family in some of our shittiest days growing up. I understand people don't want that relationship now and I get it- but is it such a bad thing for her neighbour to be trying to be kind ? You all shot her down as bat shit crazy on the first sign of kindness she showed. Anyway each to their own.

This is the start of a novel/screeplay

Don't tell me it's Nottingham. When I was there it was exactly like that. Find out everything, then the next day walk past without speaking.
It's so they have the knowledge to pass on.

South East are more reserved in making friends. They stay good friends though.
I'm not in either of those places I'll add.

Lock your doors at all times and never, ever, leave your children or pets unattended.

Also, if you are living with a DH or BF be warned that he will be the weak link who will see her as a harmless lady. He may need to be sacrificed before this is over.

You and your kids (if you have any) need to make it out of this alive.

😆

This is totally off point but I am intrigued by the idea of there being a separate number for a WhatsApp group that you can then subscribe yourself to. I didn’t know this was a thing! The only groups I’m in have individuals’ numbers, and you have to have a link sent to your phone by a member to join. Please share how you set up a WhatsApp group the other way; it could be useful! 🤞

Yeah, I was serious..... 🙄

You made an eejit of yourself. Own it instead of doing what you originally did, commenting, thinking that I was serious, even though it had already been pointed out that I wasn't and then upon realising that, two more comments from you in the space of a couple of minutes doubling down. It was actually quite funny seeing your flurry of messages knowing that you'd got your knickers in a twist because you'd made an eejit of yourself 😂

Yes that’s what I am doing. There is an element of trust in giving your number though so if anyone doesn’t feel comfortable we could just keep this thread running. I just feel uneasy about sharing personal information on a public forum

That's why it should be easier to get thieving scrotes out when they refuse to pay rent.

Like a lot of people advised, hide from her if possible. You have recognized the signs of a PIA early on so you can stay clear. I've had my share of odd neighbors too. There was one who was showing me through her house and she had a dog on her dresser.I jumped when I saw it because it was so unexpected. She told me it was a pet that died and she had it stuffed.

I suspect she might be trying to force her generosity and kindness on you early on, so you will feel in her debt. The idea is, she’ll then start asking for favours that you feel you have no choice but to grant. Based on previous experience, I’d suggest you just give her a wide berth, be friendly but distant, just avoid giving her any reason to be difficult.

don’t accept parcels on her behalf, I had to put a notice up on our door to stop the slew of delivery drivers knocking.

I once took a misdelivered letter round to a house a few doors down and spotted a notice on their door 'We do not accept parcels for other addresses', fair enough except that a couple of days later a delivery driver rang our bell asking to leave a parcel for them. When they came to collect it I made a point of referring to the misdelivered letter, which would mean I saw their note to delivery drivers, but she said nothing.

Ditto

She latched onto me to the point she went mental if I dared to speak to anyone else

She was forceful,thick skinned and thick as mince

It all came to a head when she left her husband (who we worked with) and she tried it on with me and another lass we worked with

(She ended up shagging yet another lass who ended up marrying her ex husband-i really wish I was making this up)

She seriously told me to leave my dp and start up with her (I'd rather chew on my own liver) and her feral kids in her shithole of a house (she asked the other lass to do the same)

We both turned her down and she went scorched earth on us-I've never had such a smear campaign in my life

It was so uncomfortable going to work to be faced with her face and her bile (I acted like it didn't bother me but it did-i didn't deserve that just because I'm not gay)

It got to the point work had to step in and deal with her (she left not long after)

It was like she'd written a script in her head and I copped it when I didn't react the way she wanted

Last I heard,she married a woman who looks like her mother

Oh dear !!!! Get yer ring doorbell up hun.

OP start as you mean to go on and keep saying no. She will get the message eventually.

Similar where I live, if it's immediate neighbours I introduce myself and say if they need to know anything knock my door. Some did some didn't, we also have a watts app which is useful, someone needs ladders, they ask if anyone's got any they can borrow, etc etc. don't go in each others houses but there to help if needed. If she keeps coming to your door just ignore it or say, sorry can't stop to talk I'm really busy. Or go to door with phone in your hand and say sorry important private call.

Genuinely never known anyone so offended that their ‘joke’ didn’t land 😂

The only way to deal with these kinds of people is to freeze them out, they get bored and move onto the next thing and she won’t even give you the time of day six months from now. You need to be a bit rude, but at the end of the day it’s of no consequence to her life. If you try to be nice it will only get worse, trust me.

Honest to god woman I couldn’t give less of a shit 😂 I have read the posts (every single one, I’m enjoying the stories) so I replied to your post, then read others replies, then yours, and so on and so forth. There is no ‘doubling down’, I’m replying as I come across the posts; you aren’t actually funny, I have not made an eejit of myself and even if I had who gives a shit? You don’t know me, nobody here knows me, so what’s to be embarrassed about? That a group of women on an anonymous forum think I’m apparently a moron for not getting a joke which wasn’t remotely funny? Good grief I better move house and change my name… 🙄😂

An introduction and friendly offer for help is what we do in rural America. A good neighbor is better than a far away friend, as they say. I’ve heard of people bringing a fruit basket, pie or other dish. Maybe you’re the same age and she’s lonely? 🤷‍♀️

In the UK it can be very different and some people avoid their neighbours at all costs.
What you have in rural America sounds like something from a bygone era in the UK.

We have an over the road neighbour like this. As we were moving the big items in (we only hired a van for a short time and were in a rush) they came over to chat. (Be nosey). Luckily my partners parents who are more their age stood and talked to them the whole time we were going in and out thr house with all the stuff. He'll go out the house and totter around doing nothing just to watch what people are doing. My friend was up and we were going in our car late at night to swap out some shoes as he had left them in there and he comes up to us just to ask "what are you doing?". He cant help himself. My friend decided to be funny and say that we were just hiding a body xD. He's quick like that and was gobsmacked at his noseyness. Although we were used to it. He used to knock on our door constantly for minor things early in the morning. Like moving the car so the road sweepers could sweep everywhere. It's handy as he must be a major window twitcher so when we are not home our house is watched for us. So thats one thing.

Absolutely kid , fortefiey you're self from all living things especially if they have a bloody hart. They are the worst , rotters
Ps. beware of hansom postman/women.
Don't be sucked into that old ploy ' sign here love'
It's a one way trip.....

Meanwhile back on planet Earth 🌏

💯 agreed