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Original poster

New neighbour is too much. What to do?

261 replies

WiseBearOrMare · 31/05/2025 19:45

Moved in 48 hours ago.

Knock on the door within 10 minutes of arriving with the first load of boxes.

Neighbour said (something along the lines of) ‘Hi! I’m Sue from Number 9. So where have you travelled from? Where are you working at the moment? Where’s the kids, do you have any?’

All asked within seconds of each other. Seemed quite intrusive for a first meeting.

I realised straight away that she’s not my immediate neighbour that’s attached to me because of the door number. I live in a semi detached, just one other house. She actually lives across the road, a little to the right. New build housing estate so all quite close

Anyway, we were pressed for time because of DS/DD so we had to get moving. 2 hours later, she knocks again saying she’s got pizzas on the way. And to pop round for a break

I politely said thank you but I couldn’t possibly, I desperately needed to get things finished for today. She said ‘Okay raised eyebrow. Suit yourself!’ And off she went.

That evening a piece of paper with the estate’s WhatsApp group number came through. I added myself. She then must’ve got my number from that and messaged me

She said ‘Getting you a moving in gift. Anything you fancy? Preferably Amazon! I’m a Prime girl me haha’

I politely declined and said we had all we needed, but she was too kind and thank you so much. She just blue ticked that

Hours later I waved to her with a smile, and she gave me a glare and ignored me. I was packing my boot up and she made me bloody jump! She asked me if I had anyone in my phone contacts that does plumbing. I said I didn’t. The said Oh. And then said ‘We help each other on this estate. That’s just how it is’

I’ve just had a delivery man turn up at my door with a bunch of flowers. With my name on.

5 mins later, a delivery man from somewhere else asking if I’d take in a parcel for her number?! Seems strange. Why didn’t he try a direct neighbour first?

My actual neighbours have just smiled a hello and that’s been that. They’re the complete opposite and seem a bit shy, thankfully!

Small estate of about 20 houses max I think. But everyone I’ve made eye contact with has just given a smile, maybe a friendly wave and hi. That’s it

Is she just overly nice and innocently overstepping the mark? Or is this going to bring an ongoing nightmare?

OP posts:
Lindajonesjustcantlivemylife · 31/05/2025 20:34

Bloody hell nightsurgeon.. that's nuts
Perhaps she was the drinker or manic behaviour like that drug's.

CherryBlossom321 · 31/05/2025 20:35

Don’t take in any parcels - it’s a slippery slope with characters like that. A previous neighbour actually nominated me as an alternative delivery address with Royal Mail. I had to awkwardly explain to the delivery driver that I had not consented and wouldn’t be taking any more.

Feelingstrange2 · 31/05/2025 20:40

Back in the 70s I lived on a terrace. We used to all have open doors in summer and kids all ran in and out. We had one neighbour who was ALWAYS coming in shouting to my Mum as she passed over the threshold "Pam-la, Pam-la".... reading this thread I can hear her now- 50 years later!!!

Goingoutofmymind25 · 31/05/2025 20:42

I wouldn't think she's on drugs or "unwell"... there are people out there that are just too much

HiRen · 31/05/2025 20:43

Start as you mean to go on. Back in the day women like this self-appointed as sheriffs of The Neighbourhood Watch. They’re all the same. Stay on the WhatsApp to remain informed, but never say anything.

Foodoverload · 31/05/2025 20:50

Nip that in the bud. I like to friendly with my neighbours but not socialising. would be awkward if we fell out.

I live in a new build estate in a semi. My neighbour is same age as me and also lived alone. We met on the first day as moved in same time. She is nice and we chat, take parcels in and general help. But is in the same page as me.

however there is someone moving in who has knocked on my door many times to chat. We both feel she will be like yours

TomatoSandwiches · 31/05/2025 20:52

I can't be doing with people like this, you have my sympathy op, I'd rather have a rat infestation to deal with.

Slatterndisgrace · 31/05/2025 20:56

TomatoSandwiches · 31/05/2025 20:52

I can't be doing with people like this, you have my sympathy op, I'd rather have a rat infestation to deal with.

Edited

😀 but me too.

Gardeninging · 31/05/2025 20:57

TheNightSurgeon · 31/05/2025 20:30

Oh god, I had a neighbour like this once.

I was a young single parent, she had kids my age and older.

She was a little overbearing but well meaning to start with, and then she became more and more intrusive.

I had the blinds in my kitchen half closed all the time, her husband would go out with the dog at 11 at night, if he saw me in the kitchen with a drink of anything she would be hammering in my door at 7am to make sure I wasn't hung over and could get the kids to school. She had zero reason to think I was drinking alcohol since it was a very rare occasion I did and I never had issue getting my kids to school.

She would tell me how she walked 4 miles a day with her kids, and did all these special magical things with them, when I met her kids it turns out they were in and out of Foster care because she was a shit mum who chose a succession of men over her kids.

One day she decided that my kids having cereal or toast in the morning wasn't good enough and did a meal plan for my household and just showed up with it, as if I was going to make pancakes, waffles and full on fry ups before school every day.

One day she came over with her daughter and told me that I could do with losing some weight (I was a size 12) so I could look like her daughter and offered me a photo of her daughter to put on my fridge to motivate me not to snack.

There were loads of other things she did, like borrow money and then buy me things she felt I needed rather than paying me back, it was such a weird dynamic.

After she called me fat I just stopped answering the door and hid from her, then moved 6 months later.

W.T.F!

You and OP have made me feel very grateful that I have normal people for neighbours!

TheSilentSister · 31/05/2025 21:00

My home is my castle, my sanctuary. I would not want someone like that next door. She's not next door to you though so hopefully it wont be so bad, dodge her when you can. She'll get the message and no doubt your other neighbours will have experience of her to share.
My current neighbours are lovely, thank god, as I've had my share of shit ones.
Friendly, helpful but not overbearing. It's made my move as a single Mum so much more enjoyable. I can enjoy my garden without worry. Yep that should be a given but hasn't always been for me.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 31/05/2025 21:02

Ongoing nightmare. 🪓

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 31/05/2025 21:03

PMSL at It's basically the same rules as for vampires. Avoid eye contact & don't under any circumstances allow it over your threshold. So true @CorvusPurpureus

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 31/05/2025 21:15

CherryBlossom321 · 31/05/2025 20:35

Don’t take in any parcels - it’s a slippery slope with characters like that. A previous neighbour actually nominated me as an alternative delivery address with Royal Mail. I had to awkwardly explain to the delivery driver that I had not consented and wouldn’t be taking any more.

Yep, this happened to me. But I wasn't the new neighbour, the neighbour who just moved in was! She had shit from Amazon and Ebay quite often, and deliveries from the Body Shop - like £200 worth at a time (she was a rep for the online company for a while!) I kept getting the bloody courier(s) knocking my door, catching me on the driveway etc, and piling these bloody items on me because the neighbour was out - or just not opening the door! After about half a dozen times I said 'it's not for me, it's for them!' Whilst pointing at their house. He said 'but they're not in and this is an alternative delivery address if they're not in or they don't answer.' I refused the package and said I had not agreed to this. He reluctantly took the package back.

At LEAST another 5 or 6 more times, vans pulled up in the road, knocked on her door once, got no response, and then trotted over to mine and knocked on MY door. Several times, this neighbour was in, she just couldn't be bothered to answer the door/didn't hear it/was asleep. And she never came for the packages. I had to go there! Hmm

I stopped answering. This one time, one courier knocked and knocked and bloody KNOCKED. I was getting so fucking angry. My DH was in bed asleep as he was on late shift. I dug my heels in and continued to stop answering. After a few more weeks they stopped coming.

And some posters wonder why some Mumsnetters don't want to answer the door! Probably because there's a strong possibility that some twatty entitled neighbour is trying to offload their packages onto you because they CBA to find a safe place for it, (and sometimes it's purely because they CBA to answer the door!)

By the way @WiseBearOrMare did your clingy new neighbour send you a Welcome To Your New Home card, and get salty and sniffy when you didn't thank them for it? Just curious.

.

Threepiece · 31/05/2025 21:16

TheNightSurgeon · 31/05/2025 20:30

Oh god, I had a neighbour like this once.

I was a young single parent, she had kids my age and older.

She was a little overbearing but well meaning to start with, and then she became more and more intrusive.

I had the blinds in my kitchen half closed all the time, her husband would go out with the dog at 11 at night, if he saw me in the kitchen with a drink of anything she would be hammering in my door at 7am to make sure I wasn't hung over and could get the kids to school. She had zero reason to think I was drinking alcohol since it was a very rare occasion I did and I never had issue getting my kids to school.

She would tell me how she walked 4 miles a day with her kids, and did all these special magical things with them, when I met her kids it turns out they were in and out of Foster care because she was a shit mum who chose a succession of men over her kids.

One day she decided that my kids having cereal or toast in the morning wasn't good enough and did a meal plan for my household and just showed up with it, as if I was going to make pancakes, waffles and full on fry ups before school every day.

One day she came over with her daughter and told me that I could do with losing some weight (I was a size 12) so I could look like her daughter and offered me a photo of her daughter to put on my fridge to motivate me not to snack.

There were loads of other things she did, like borrow money and then buy me things she felt I needed rather than paying me back, it was such a weird dynamic.

After she called me fat I just stopped answering the door and hid from her, then moved 6 months later.

Oh my god…

Threepiece · 31/05/2025 21:19

Don’t give her an inch, honestly, she will definitely take a mile. I think you’ve done really well so far just saying no to everything. The other neighbours are probably desperate for fresh blood to get her off their backs, if they haven’t already run a mile. If you do actually show any signs of being friendly with her, then you’ll be tarred with the same brush.

Genuinely, someone like this is not going to let go lightly, don’t decide to do one in five of the things she suggests to be nice because the onslaught will intensify.

Oh, and you asked if she was just being nice? I would bet my house on the fact that she is totally batshit and not at all nice.

WileyCyrus · 31/05/2025 21:24

@WiseBearOrMare she’s not called Jill, is she?! 😂 This sounds scarily like someone I used to work with!

PluckyBamboo · 31/05/2025 21:26

She sounds unhinged, definitely one to keep at arms length and absolutely no more taking in of parcels as she's trying to wing her way into your house under the pretence of a quick coffee & chat.

Does she have Pampass grass in her garden or upside down pineapples in the window by any chance? Could also be one of those MLM scam sellers looking for a new victim.

Musclewoman · 31/05/2025 21:26

She sounds a bit creepy to be honest, only because she seems offended when you don't take up one of her offers....seems a bit off and almost sinister!
I had a neighbour just like her years ago and she ended up being a total nightmare.

Slatterndisgrace · 31/05/2025 21:26

WileyCyrus · 31/05/2025 21:24

@WiseBearOrMare she’s not called Jill, is she?! 😂 This sounds scarily like someone I used to work with!

All the Jill’s currently reading mumsnet are feeling a little bit paranoid right now. 😀

Slatterndisgrace · 31/05/2025 21:28

PluckyBamboo · 31/05/2025 21:26

She sounds unhinged, definitely one to keep at arms length and absolutely no more taking in of parcels as she's trying to wing her way into your house under the pretence of a quick coffee & chat.

Does she have Pampass grass in her garden or upside down pineapples in the window by any chance? Could also be one of those MLM scam sellers looking for a new victim.

Oh god, I’m cracking up here. So funny.

Caterpillarmama · 31/05/2025 21:30

I would avoid all you can. Try and not share any personal info with her and don’t take parcels in for her as it sounds like another excuse for her to interact with you.

If you think the flowers are from her, post a pic on the neighbours WhatsApp group and say you’ve got too many and would anyone like them!!

Tbrh · 31/05/2025 21:32

A bit much, but sounds nice. Really kind to ask you if you wanted some pizza. Chill out, she might end up being your best friend

ArtTheClown · 31/05/2025 21:38

That isn't best friend material, more like potential stalker. Never let people like that near you.

Kathbrownlow · 31/05/2025 21:41

Many years ago when I was young and naive, I had a neighbour something like yours, OP. I didn't mind being a bit friendly but... O My GOD she turned out to be a nightmare. Then the inevitable happened: I had to freeze her out and she turned against me. Never again will I get too involved with a neighbour. Start freezing her out now, OP or you'll regret it a lot.

Lindajonesjustcantlivemylife · 31/05/2025 21:43

Some wise advice from pp who've lived experience of nutty neighbour behaviour.