New neighbour is too much. What to do?

[WiseBearOrMare]

Moved in 48 hours ago.

Knock on the door within 10 minutes of arriving with the first load of boxes.

Neighbour said (something along the lines of) ‘Hi! I’m Sue from Number 9. So where have you travelled from? Where are you working at the moment? Where’s the kids, do you have any?’

All asked within seconds of each other. Seemed quite intrusive for a first meeting.

I realised straight away that she’s not my immediate neighbour that’s attached to me because of the door number. I live in a semi detached, just one other house. She actually lives across the road, a little to the right. New build housing estate so all quite close

Anyway, we were pressed for time because of DS/DD so we had to get moving. 2 hours later, she knocks again saying she’s got pizzas on the way. And to pop round for a break

I politely said thank you but I couldn’t possibly, I desperately needed to get things finished for today. She said ‘Okay raised eyebrow. Suit yourself!’ And off she went.

That evening a piece of paper with the estate’s WhatsApp group number came through. I added myself. She then must’ve got my number from that and messaged me

She said ‘Getting you a moving in gift. Anything you fancy? Preferably Amazon! I’m a Prime girl me haha’

I politely declined and said we had all we needed, but she was too kind and thank you so much. She just blue ticked that

Hours later I waved to her with a smile, and she gave me a glare and ignored me. I was packing my boot up and she made me bloody jump! She asked me if I had anyone in my phone contacts that does plumbing. I said I didn’t. The said Oh. And then said ‘We help each other on this estate. That’s just how it is’

I’ve just had a delivery man turn up at my door with a bunch of flowers. With my name on.

5 mins later, a delivery man from somewhere else asking if I’d take in a parcel for her number?! Seems strange. Why didn’t he try a direct neighbour first?

My actual neighbours have just smiled a hello and that’s been that. They’re the complete opposite and seem a bit shy, thankfully!

Small estate of about 20 houses max I think. But everyone I’ve made eye contact with has just given a smile, maybe a friendly wave and hi. That’s it

Is she just overly nice and innocently overstepping the mark? Or is this going to bring an ongoing nightmare?

Neither. You don’t know her or her situation. She may be a DV victim or have MH issues. I’d be friendly with her, but not to the extent of popping in and out of houses. I’ve met people with MH insecurity issues and never had a nightmare with them. The poor woman is being laughed at and god knows what else on here. Ever thought she may also be a member? 🥺

My immediate thought? Is there an election coming up for the chair of the residents association? And she's going for votes. I'd seek advice from the less intrusive neighbours. Because if she's not after votes, she definitely doesn't sound well. Stay calm, friendly and firmly distant.

We had a neighbour like this, ended up moving to avoid her! Sad, as it was a wonderful new house. Anyway, she watched us like a hawk, saying things like “Oh I see Jayne came today, she stayed a long time”, and “you know your friends use you don’t you”. She tried to make me forget my mates, and completely take over my life. She was bonkers, she also lived opposite like your lady. As your neighbour is older, (and maybe alone? ) perhaps she’s got mild dementia, it can make folks do what the rest of us think is unacceptable behaviour. Keep her at arms length, and as others have said Don’t invite her in!

You have my empathy op. I have had this myself and it drove me nuts. I actually moved house or rather flat to get away from this person that was like this with me. I'm sorry I can't give any constructive advice. I hope that it doesn't escalate or become unpleasant when you try to pull back from her, which it did in my case with her making threats to me. I'm sorry that you have experienced this upon moving in, with me it was the other way round, I was there several years when she moved in and it was suffocating and all I could do to get away from her was move. She was only in her early twenties and I was mid forties. She had a partner too. I think it's some kind of mental disorder she has.

She sounds unhinged. Think 'Baby Reindeer' and 'Apple Cider Vinegar' unhinged.

Years ago i worked for an older woman who'd been a plotter in the women's air force in WW2. She'd left a tiny village where she'd lived all her life to join up & said she was v anxious about leaving home and mixing with so many other people. Her mum gave her a piece of advice which i thought was really sound and have never forgotten - never be in a rush to make friends, those who are too familiar too soon may be false but your kind will find you if you're patient.

Keep your nose clean for a week or two and you will get an invite to the "Whole estate except Sue" group. Every neighbourhood has one.

Is this the start of a horror film? Or perhaps an unusually friendly neighbour for the UK? (I am assuming that's where you are based). When I was living in the USA and had just moved into a new home, my neighbour, a middle-aged woman, came knocking on the door, holding out a baking dish and said 'Hi I'm Nancy. I've baked you some pumpkin pie.' She was delightful, kept a small silver pistol by her bedside, was always up for a chat. This woman does sound like she's got a few boundary issues (quite literally). I hope you can establish a friendly but slightly more detached relationship with her in time.

Tell her to f@%k off.

I have encountered major issues with a neighbor….blunt fluff off and don’t fall down the slippery slope even allowing her to even think you are friends. She’s unfortunately someone else’s issue now. I could type essay on my neighbors bizarre forcefull behaviour. People like this don’t take subtle ques.

Too much too soon! Smacks of desperation and no idea of boundaries.

Satan hates Latin so that should sort her out indeed

But she didn't ask did she ? She just announced pizzas were on their way. Thereby almost compelling OP to have dinner with her. On her moving in day.
That is not normal behaviour.
It's pushy and is taking liberties. She has another agenda which she veils in " kindness."

Is she just overly nice and innocently overstepping the mark? Or is this going to bring an ongoing nightmare?

We had this from people sort of corner over the road - they were very over friendly with previous owner and were a bit over keen for us.

They actually moved within 12 months sold the house and were gone. Think they just missed the community that had slowly moved on. We'd had previous bad neighbours in previous house so were really wary - we weren't impolite but bit taken aback.

Gawd. That seems so excessive.

If you just keep it to smiling and brief one minute conversation when you bump into her she should get the message. You'd hope?!

'We help eachother on this estate', (pass.agg. at the off then?) what, by demanding a number for a local plumber off someone who moved into the area two days ago? Yeah, really helpful.

Also helpful her putting your address down as a place to take in her parcels.

I bet the rest of them can hardly bear to speak to her!

The ones who are overly friendly at first are the nutters who turn nasty after 6 months and start causing trouble. Theyve usually done the same with all the other neighbours and then fallen out with them. Avoid like the plague.

Ghastly. Absolutely grey rock 🪨

I had a neighbour like this once,over stepped the boundaries walking straight into my home,next step leaving her kids to play then asking me to drop little one to nursery with my DC.I had to get a lock put on door to stop intrusions and using back door as an escape route otherwise she'd invite herself in for coffee and proceeded to call other neighbours who gave her a wide berth.She got the message in the end.

Is her actual name Sue or was it changed for this post? Because I moved into my house 2019 and a neighbour across the road called Sue was exactly the same (she's now moved back home to England but loved in Wales at the time). And where she's moved is a new build estate so this is ringing so many bells 😂 When we first moved in I literally put the key in the door for the first time and she was next to me and offered to order pizza! She asked a million questions too. If this isn't the same person then they are sooo similar!

Very very similar happened to us when we moved in 13 years ago. Thought she was just lonely or trying to be neighbourly but I later found out that she had told each of our other neighbours that I was "mental" and to avoid me! Whilst still being nice as pie to us & even trying to get me to join a yoga class with her! It was soooo strange.

She should have asked the OP first if she fancied a pizza
I don't blame op for saying No thanks

Oh sod that, she sounds like my worst nightmare come true for a neighbour and def over stepping/bordering on down right creepy..I know you've just moved in so prob want to keep it civil but if that were me..I'd never of joined the whatsapp so she could get hold of my number..I value my privacy too much.

You mean Jesus is Shrek? 😂😂😂

makes my crack and scrap dealing neighbours who yell night and day seem restrained and pleasant!

Eek! I think you need to give her the polite freeze, always with a smile.
Freeze and Smile. Smile and Freeze. I'll bet every other one of your neighbours have had to endure the same initiation ritual. Freeze 'n Smile.