What do you think of Soft Life / Soft girl lifestyle?

[sintin]

Seen this online a lot, my SIL essentially has this life, she's an artist and does make some money at this but my DB who is a high earner, her DH essentially bank rolls her lifestyle. No kids but she does do a lot in the home and is a great cook and baker but also does a lot of self care, yoga, meditation, reads loads of books etc, the stuff most of us don't have much time for. She is late 40's but looks amazing, can still afford to buy all high end products and have treatments as well as a low stress life. DB also puts loads of money into savings in her name only so she's financially set, they have been together for 30 years since their teens.

I am not married and I can't decide if I am envious of her lifestyle or if I think its just lazy, I have to admit it does have its appeal. I feel like life is much harder without the income of a partner and that would be with both of us working. Some women I work with do only part time and have higher earning partners so their lifestyle is still good on their income.

Anyone else intrigued by soft girl life?

@Conkeringconkers I think I'd be bored as well to be honest, but then perhaps I am not as creative or self directed as she is, I would guess not many people are.

I remember hearing an art investor on Jordan Peterson’s podcast last year saying you can only call yourself an artist if you actually sell stuff.

@FiendsandFairies She does sell her work, she studied fine art and has a BA and an MFA, I don't think she pushes her career too hard though. I believe she could push it harder and make a lot more money if she wanted to.

But if she's an artist, and makes some money from it, presumably she has a professional life and experience around that? I'm not actually sure how different an existence she has from someone working p-t, except that she likely has greater flexibility with her time.

I have that life, minus the yoga, but adding two teens.
H earns all the cash. I do most everything else apart from be a dad.

This means H can down tools at work and then spend all his leisure time with the people he loves and pays for and whatever other hobbies he wants to do.

H earning gives this family choices, which works out for all of us.

I would say it is “softer” than two working parents, he never had to take a day off for ill children, all his holiday days were spent as a family, there was always someone home. Which is handy at the moment for exam revision.

Some days he works longer hours, some days I do, it evens out. I do the things he dislikes he does what I dislike we are a team.

If we had no kids though I would be bored shitess and probably become difficult and restless. But we do.

Maybe she doesn't want to push it harder?

Lots of people just don't care about work.

So she’s basically this guys pet?

if her dh is a high earner it makes sense from a tax perspective to put savings in her sole name.
never heard the term soft girl life. It sounds like they support each other. I didn’t work when the dc were growing up and now dh is at home and I work (albeit only for specific months of the year) - all money shared and we support each other which is surely the purpose of being married.

@4444223e I guess that for her making art isn't a job as such, it is something she'd do anyway. I love my work but I'm not sure I'd do it if I didn't have to or wasn't paid for it.

Wow that’s properly bitchy. Even for here

Sounds fucking great but I there would be a nagging worry at the back of my mind that my life was dependant on the benevolence of somebody else. Now if I had a trust find or private income then bring it on!

don’t be ridiculous!

@HunnyPot Well that is a way of looking at it. Lots of people have others who are dependent on them I'm not sure you can describe another person as a pet to be honest.

Never heard of it either. When there is one modest income then obviously you can't have a high end lifestyle. In a relationship where one person is tgd high earner, there's no guarantee that will all ve smelling if roses OP.

Why does she need to be bothered about others opinions? And I say that as a worker

Right, but my point is for the posters who say they'd be bored - I'm guessing her art fills the same space for her as work, particularly p-t work, does for some people.

@faerietales I think that is true, I suppose it does mean she has a back up if things did go belly up.

@Disturbia81 I don't think she is fussed, after all she can just tell people she is an artist. I suppose its more for myself, I am somewhat attracted to this lifestyle but also think I wouldn't really get away with it. It isn't going to happen anyway to be fair, that ship sailed long ago!

I work full time, multiple health conditions, primary aged kid, just trying to pull weeds out of my clay hardened garden before getting the tea on and making sure everybody is set for tomorrow. I'm knackered. Where do I sign up for this soft life? I often fantasise about it, but the car is on its last legs, the house needs repairs and I forgot to marry a high earner.

So a house wife then? Who is pretending this is a new thing. Sounds like Margot with her pottery and am dram.

@Ramblingaway Sorry to hear about all that, I also forgot to marry a high earner, I somehow forgot to marry anyone at all! I am dating but I doubt anyone will ever take care of me. I hope things improve for you soon.

If they split up she's truly going to be fucked. With no kids why would you choose to do this to yourself?

The way I’ve seen “soft lifestyle” on a few videos (that I’ve blocked) on Facebook is satin-clad women aspiring to be trophy second wives, the type of languid, submissive, high maintenance women that men who’ve risen to success occasionally run off with.

Another tired example of pitting women against each other: “What are you, the harridan crone or the preening beckoning push-over?”

Nothing to do with living a lifestyle of well-earned leisure and self-contentment.

@ChompandaGrazia To be fair to her she is an actual artist who sells her work and studied art fulltime for 7 years.

Why would she be fucked? OP says she has her own accounts and savings in her own name.