What do you think of Soft Life / Soft girl lifestyle?

[sintin]

Seen this online a lot, my SIL essentially has this life, she's an artist and does make some money at this but my DB who is a high earner, her DH essentially bank rolls her lifestyle. No kids but she does do a lot in the home and is a great cook and baker but also does a lot of self care, yoga, meditation, reads loads of books etc, the stuff most of us don't have much time for. She is late 40's but looks amazing, can still afford to buy all high end products and have treatments as well as a low stress life. DB also puts loads of money into savings in her name only so she's financially set, they have been together for 30 years since their teens.

I am not married and I can't decide if I am envious of her lifestyle or if I think its just lazy, I have to admit it does have its appeal. I feel like life is much harder without the income of a partner and that would be with both of us working. Some women I work with do only part time and have higher earning partners so their lifestyle is still good on their income.

Anyone else intrigued by soft girl life?

The older I get, the more I want this.

I have kids, am a hard worker and run a small business.

Im still in my mid 30s so I have time. We can’t afford a single household income but me and my partner are planning to use the next decade to achieve an easier life when we are older. We also want to make sure our children are comfortable.

I think when you are in your late 40s, and if you have worked hard (or maybe worked hard finding someone that works hard) then enjoy your life. Life is stressful, we glamourise burn out and working until we are dead - but life is for living!

Yeah, you're jealous...

Is she though? They’re 30 years married and he’s putting savings into her name?

its obviously a way of life they both support and are happy with, and maybe she has contributed along the way if she had her own money from inheritance etc?

Soft girl is an insult in Liverpool, it implies stupidity.

Eg "Get out of my way soft girl"

I would currently love this lifestyle. But I’ve been working for 37 years now so I’d love a break.

Any couple who decide between them how their lives look are free to do this, and should be without judgment. The OP SIL can do this and seems to have a wonderful life, outside looking in. Personally if I’d never achieved anything tangible or reproduced I think I’d feel empty now.

The trad wife / soft life model is precarious unless you are independently wealthy. You are depending on keeping your provider happy and life is hard like that. Perfectly good, devoted wives get cast aside for things like ageing. Or for a new toy. I would and could not live on someone else’s good graces.

The soft life is not limited to sahm or sahw, these girls and boys are also sponging off parents well into their thirties and are harming their parents retirement with the entitlement. I met a guy in mid-fifties whose 20 something kid asked if he could have his inheritance now. In all seriousness. His inheritance is their house and savings.

I have a great life, I make good money but man I’d welcome a small but not too small lottery win to take the pressure off.

I think the OP is envious, but I probably would be too if my brother had done really well, and adores and spoils his wife whilst I struggle to make ends meet.

I’d probably want the same for myself. And the fact it’s her brother doing it means it’s very real and the comparison is stark.

Is this the new internet name for a woman who is supported by her DH? Sounds nice to be able to waft around doing whatever you fancy without any financial stress. Do I sound jealous? It’s because I am! 😂😂

She is an artist though, so probably has plenty to occupy herself with.

Poor man. Working so hard. Must genuinely love her. Don't envy her, that's a very slippery slope to your own downfall. It works for them but you have no idea what she has to do to keep it up. It will come with a cost. Everything does. For you, do what works för you. Be your own person and work your way out of life the best way for you. Don't let lifestyles of the rich and famous be your idealogue.

Poor man??? How much unpaid labour do women usually do. Emotional housework, sorting out day to day stuff.
The op is definitely jealous and how these people live their lives is none of her business.

If you have ever been the sole earner for a family you may well understand the phrase “poor man” - it can be very stressful , it’s a lot of responsibility and pressure even if someone else is doing the dinner and kids birthdays

They sound very happy.

Good for them, living life on their own terms, and doing whatever work is necessary to make sure it happens.

On a site where a significant number of women are sole earners, feeling all the stress, coming home, rolling up their sleeves and doing the second shift (and even the third shift), that's rather a tone deaf comment.

(And a significant number come home from their full time jobs and still do the second and third shift even with a partner.)

And further, if you think 'dinner and the kids' birthdays' is the sum total of the extra work that women take care of, maybe open your eyes and ears and start educating yourself.

Yip

i have spent a good few years as a single mum ( although actually that was easier than being married to her dad because at least I knew where and who I was )

and at a later date my new DH was made redundant and I had to take up the role of chief wage earner at a time when my organisation also went through restructuring

and so I perhaps understand that all these roles have their challenges and difficulties and that dismissing the stress of being sole wage earner is pretty thoughtless and insensitive

looking after kids, keeping everyone clean and well fed - naw it’s not such a huge ask as some are making out and was never the aspect I found most challenging.