What do you think of Soft Life / Soft girl lifestyle?

[sintin]

Seen this online a lot, my SIL essentially has this life, she's an artist and does make some money at this but my DB who is a high earner, her DH essentially bank rolls her lifestyle. No kids but she does do a lot in the home and is a great cook and baker but also does a lot of self care, yoga, meditation, reads loads of books etc, the stuff most of us don't have much time for. She is late 40's but looks amazing, can still afford to buy all high end products and have treatments as well as a low stress life. DB also puts loads of money into savings in her name only so she's financially set, they have been together for 30 years since their teens.

I am not married and I can't decide if I am envious of her lifestyle or if I think its just lazy, I have to admit it does have its appeal. I feel like life is much harder without the income of a partner and that would be with both of us working. Some women I work with do only part time and have higher earning partners so their lifestyle is still good on their income.

Anyone else intrigued by soft girl life?

Yes, i meant exactly what i wrote (in reply to the person who posted the woman is her husband’s pet).

Which is, she is taking care of needs a pet does not take care of. Which applies to most adult romantic relationships. And which absolutely DOES NOT imply she is being financially supported because of ‘sexual favors’.

Really not sure that it's any of your business how they sort their finances out I could give two hoots about someone else's arrangements

I understand you’re saying that a romantic partner fulfills needs a pet can’t, but the phrasing “takes care of his ‘other’ needs” heavily implies sexual services—as if that’s the trade-off for financial support. That kind of implication reduces a woman’s value to her sexual availability, which is where I take issue.

It’s not about comparing her to a pet. It’s about how the conversation frames her worth in the relationship. People can have arrangements where one partner stays home—that’s valid. But we should be cautious about using sexual access as the implied justification for financial support, because it echoes really problematic narratives about women’s value being transactional.

And pretend for a moment think that by saying “other needs” that you meant folding his socks.

i will state AGAIN, I did NOT imply ‘sexual favors for pay’. The meaning was ‘takes care of ‘other needs’, unlike a pet’ which I’ve repeatedly restated (though there should not have been any need to, as the context was clear by reading the quote history).

So, what “other needs” were you referring to then?

To repeat, yet again, for the final time, any needs a pet does not take care of!! Which does NOT, in any way whatsoever, imply financial support in exchange for taking care of those needs!!

@Arraminta But do you love it because you're 50 plus and presumably worked for many years before becoming a lady of leisure? Do you think you'll get bored over the next, say, 30 years?

No judgement. I'm bone idle myself.

Why do people keep using the word bored? An arty, bookish, creative life is never boring.
I've done it for 30 years already, never been bored, always got loads to do.

I was bored shitless with a full time constantly on call career.

Why do people keep using the word bored? An arty, bookish, creative life is never boring.

That wasn't the life Arraminta was describing (other than the books).

Point taken that not everyone is into art and books. But I still don't understand the repeated use of bored/boring/brain rot.
If someone has the freedom to spend their days doing whatever they want (within reason), why would they ever be bored?

Good question, and yes I worked up until fairly recently, but no I really don't think I'll become bored? I'm conscious of not becoming stagnant so like to try my hand at new things, pottery is next on the list. I'm a half decent artist but haven't painted/sketched for decades, so I'm excited to get creative again.

But, as ever, it's books that are my first love and whilst there's a single book left unread in the world I will never be bored.

Well it’s clear that many people who have the liberty of free time live a life that I would find terribly boring and brain dead with lots of housework and gym based exercise

I think it’s easier to retire with a load of ideas when you have been permanently stimulated your whole life

🙄Housework? Gym based exercise? 😄😂😬

Well I certainly don't do any housework as we've always had a cleaner. My idea of housework is lighting a scented candle.

What is it we say to children about occupying themselves?

If you can’t entertain yourself with a good book, your imagination, or your own ideas, I mean, come on. You’re the problem.

I’d love to know how much excitement and rip-roaring mental development people are getting from their jobs (and particularly that which a half-competent person couldn’t muster up themselves at home).

I can’t imagine there would be a person alive who wouldn’t be into art books music if they had the funds and opportunity and time to do so
It really is nothing not to like about any of those hobbies

Never heard of it before.

I've concluded that I'm not soft life but more simple life. Which can be done without a huge income. There are some similarities but yeah, I'm the low budget version 😆It's still good though.

Yes, that's exactly it for me. The simple things are the ones that matter and half my paycheck is worth it for now!

Maybe they want to take a lovely holiday to Gilead 😂

To those saying this used to be the standard way of living for women:

Yeah, for one subset of women married to nice, wealthy husbands or with their own inherited money.

Most women have always worked alongside raising families. To bring in extra money, to grow food, being the breadwinner alongside husbands or instead of husbands. In schools, factories, farming, cleaning for others, sewing in the evenings, whatever.

My mum always worked longer hours than my dad (in academia). My grandmother was left a widow with three kids at 31, she eventually went to uni and then became a teacher. My great grandmother ran a business alongside her husband.

Sounds like you're jealous really.
There's absolutely no moral prize for working your backside off as a wage slave or going a shit ton of unpaid emotional and household labour for a man. She's just pursuing her interests, like most men would do without getting judged.

Plenty of us don’t have to imagine, we have no choice but to live with the reality of no children. Some choose to be childfree but for others it’s heartbreak, and some of us are in a grey area. We don’t know which it is in this case.

I feel the same way. Was nearly stepmum. Now happily single and honorary mummy to foxes and crows. Would love to have dogs and cats but I live with my mother who won't allow pets in the house.