What do you think of Soft Life / Soft girl lifestyle?

[sintin]

Seen this online a lot, my SIL essentially has this life, she's an artist and does make some money at this but my DB who is a high earner, her DH essentially bank rolls her lifestyle. No kids but she does do a lot in the home and is a great cook and baker but also does a lot of self care, yoga, meditation, reads loads of books etc, the stuff most of us don't have much time for. She is late 40's but looks amazing, can still afford to buy all high end products and have treatments as well as a low stress life. DB also puts loads of money into savings in her name only so she's financially set, they have been together for 30 years since their teens.

I am not married and I can't decide if I am envious of her lifestyle or if I think its just lazy, I have to admit it does have its appeal. I feel like life is much harder without the income of a partner and that would be with both of us working. Some women I work with do only part time and have higher earning partners so their lifestyle is still good on their income.

Anyone else intrigued by soft girl life?

@Frateletheboss Not the case in this instance, read the full thread. However in most cases this probably would be true.

Op says she has a large amount of money in her own savings so she's financially secure

Savings run out quickly when you need to pay rent or use as a deposit on a house unless the back up plan is living in a tent?

Sorry, cross posted, but also if she's selling her artwork that could be a decent income, any idea how much her work sells for?

A large amount of money unless it's literally millions will be gone pretty quickly on rent or mortgage if they split up and he kicks her out his house

Exactly.

I earn a lot less than my dh and for years I worked p/t. Does that mean I'm living a 'soft girl', no, it means we both prioritised our children over me returning to work f/t and earning more money.

Over time my husbands salary has massively increased and I'm now self employed doing a creative job I love. Guess what I'm still not leeching off my dh as the term 'soft girl' seems to insinuate because we work as a partnership and not everything in a partnership can be valued in financial terms.

That depends how much there is in savings, no?

She also works, so could just increase the amount she works if she needed to.

@Frateletheboss I think she would be fine, yes she'd not have such a luxury lifestyle, also I think he'd die before he left her. In most cases though this would be a serious consideration unless you were independently wealthy.

Can we talk more generally and not just about SIL, I regret mentioning her to be honest.

Its a good life in general but I always advice women to have a back up plan and actually have something for themselves. Even if it's just a side hustle.

They're married, she'd also be entitled to a share of said house.

I think this thread just shows that lots of people think what someone contributes financially is what they should be judged on.

It's quite depressing, really.

Thant knocks out Van Gough then! Who knew he wasn't an artist.

In theory, it sounds great but I don’t think I would be happy living that kind of life. I’m far too independent and value my career too much.

She is a classic 1940s childless housewife, soft-girl my arse.

Lucky woman, I think

You can enjoy 'the soft life' with children too.
It just means you're well-provided for or have independent means that allow you the time/space to enjoy individual pursuits and pleasures without slaving away at work or home.

Gross.
she’s a human being and our worth is not linked to gainful employment

Well fair enough but the problem in situations like these (in general not just ops) is seeing as they don't have kids the house is probably really small so half of a really small house won't be enough for her to buy her own place and she has no proper job for a mortgage or to pay rent unlike him who will be fine with the same split money of the house as his high income will be approved for a mortgage or to rent.

This sounds great to me. I have kids, work full time and also do a creative role on the side (similar to being an artist) which has been pretty successful, but not consistent money.

If I could dedicate my time to my creative work, without any financial pressure, I'd love it. Sounds like the ideal life

I've not heard of this term but a lot of couples are choosing not to have children and those with established careers have loads of cash for nice holidays, hobbies etc. If a couple choose for one person to stay home and can afford it I don't see why not. Plenty of people do it with kids and its only going to be easier without!

@Frateletheboss Lol their house is NOT small.

I had this for a year in my late 30’s before Dc came along. We’d been struggling to conceive for years, were v stressed, i’d worked full time for years. I took voluntary redundancy and have enough to live on for a while and book some lovely travels.
Have to say it was incredible. I woke up
without an alarm, took my dog for lovely walks on the beach, stopped off for coffees, watched lots of films, listened to music, read books, cooked lots, really noticed all the seasons & nature. It was an amazing time, i’d love to live the soft girl life 😂

*Had enough to live on

*Booked some lovely travels

if you were happy with it why would you care what anyone else thinks?

@butterdish93 I think people in that kind of privileged position are always going to trigger a bit of envy and resentment in others when they know the details. I've not been immune to that myself at times even though I know and like my SIL, its hard not to feel the odd twinge at times.