I know life isn’t fair, but I’m struggling with this

[Jealoussojealous]

I know life isn’t fair, and I know I will be labelled as horribly jealous, but I will admit it first, I am horribly, disgustingly jealous of her life and it physically hurts me to think about it. My ‘friend’ gets almost £1000 a month from benefits, mostly PIP which she is falsely claiming. She uses this money to visit her boyfriend of 4 months in another country. She is now over 3 months pregnant with this man, so she got pregnant almost immediately. She is now getting housed in a matter of weeks, either through the council, or privately renting with lots of contribution from housing benefit. She has never worked a single day in her entire life. I am working self employed 6 days a week, studying my uni degree, and have been with my boyfriend for over two years, yet I barely earn more than her, we live in a tiny studio which we both work full time to afford, and have been ‘trying’ (not really trying, more seeing what happens) for a baby for almost two years with no luck. She will be in her lovely flat paid for mostly by the government, with her lovely little baby, and will never have to ever work, and never has done, while myself and my boyfriend will likely remain childless, in a small flat and working full time jobs for the foreseeable future.

Having money to be able access help privately certainly helped some people, yes.

I wouldn't be jealous of her life, sounds as boring as hell.
Also, are you ttc at the right time of the month, do you know when you ovulate? If so you should get some fertility tests done. IMHO you are either ttc or not - having random sex wont necessarily result in a pregnancy if not at the right time of the month ie, just before ovulation occurs.

Report her and the authorities will decide if they wish to pursue this. It is not illegal to travel when receiving benefits though.

End the friendship then you want have to listen to her going on about her wonderful life on benefits.

Then check yourself. It's natural to be peeved off at what you perceive to be piss-taking, but irrational to feel this level of jealousy and anger at someone you describe as a scrounger.

She's not responsible for your 'inability ' to conceive.
She's not responsible for you toiling away 6 days per in a business that's not paying you anything.
She's not responsible for the fact you've also chosen a low earning partner where together you cannot afford comfortable accommodation.
She's not responsible for your decision to make choices that are different to hers.

Cut her off for your/her own good.

Please report her if you think she is claiming fraudulently. Fraud does a major disservice to all genuine claimants.

The DWP figure for fraud for PIP is less than 1% yes that does say less than one percent, source DWP's own figures.

If your bf wants to claim PIP, do look on the CAB website and the Cerebra website, both free resources and join Benefits and Work who have even more in-depth guides on how to apply for PIP.

It is not awarded for individual conditions, although you still need to provide diagnoses etc. but a PIP award is based on how much those conditions affect your daily living and your ability to carry out day to day tasks in a safe and timely manner.

That is why 2 people with say arthritis can and do have very different assessments and decisions made, despite having the same condition.

Their needs and abilities can be very different, despite having the same medical condition.

That’s not the point ,when you do nothing for it , it is a LOT?? i’ll like it landing in my bank account on monthly basis

I have a similar experience with someone I know, sought advice on correct use of words.
But jealousy is corrosive.
Take care. Yes, life is unfair

You sound too immature to have a baby yet, to be honest.

Hey, you can have my DH's disability benefits. But only if you take on his incurable neurological condition too.

How about it?

and there it is...

Don't bother with her. She is a cheat. And report her of you want to if you think she is lying.

Evidence is what you get when you go to the GP and tell them your symptoms and they say 'oh ok' and write them down... it's definitely not impossible/ very difficult to do this.

Actually, it is you and other taxpayers funding her life - not the government.

Report her then.. and just hope she's telling lies about her anxiety and MH.. because if she isn't you might just tip her over the top.
Full PIP for both parts is £730..to get a grand she must be claiming other benefits too.

The DWP always decline claims first time, unless there is overwhelmingly good evidence. I was nearly at tribunal until I sent in some additional paperwork from my rheumatology consultant and I was awarded base rate PIP.
Your boyfriend could attempt to apply again with a mandatory reconsideration and see how it goes.

Me thinks the OP is jealous about the pregnancy.

Have you applied for PIP? I receive it, in my last renewal I sent off over 50 pieces of evidence, that’s how easy it is…

😂😂😂😂

I hope you’ll never get ill.

She is jealous about everything—I think even including the foreign boyfriend who doesn’t need PIP and who is happy to fund these trips abroad and whose sperm produces babies.

How the fuck can you be jealous of a dead end life as a single mum in a council flat? Lovely baby - more like endless drudgery and sleepless nights with zero support. Plus if it’s so easy, why don’t you do it? Lie and see if you get PIP and a flat and get knocked up by a random. Then see how amazing your friends life is.

Well yes, of course she is. She has fertility issues, for goodness sake. That can turn the kindest, meekest woman into the world champion of unreasonableness.

Most illnesses are based on symptoms…..

But more to,the point, the diagnosis doesn’t matter. It’s the way it affects you that matters for PIP.
Yes having a diagnosis and symptoms that match helps. But just having depression/autism/fibromyalgia/MS doesn’t automatically give you PIP.

Thats why people send so much evidence …..

So you're trying to conceive right now then.

She will not be getting that much 'just on pip' it's not easy to get. As you have found out as your boyfriend is unable to claim it, but she is.... strange that

Yikes! And maybe you should be jealous of anyone with basic reading comprehension. HER BOYFRIEND DOESN'T FUND THE TRIPS, HER PIP DOES
And wow, about that comment of his sperm producing babies.

Oh and also just to set the record straight, her boyfriend also doesn’t work, is an illegal immigrant in the country he’s living in right now, but yes his sperm does produce babies as @pikkumyy77 kindly clarified.

So despite saying you didnt think people were entitled to help for ADHD and anxiety, it turns out your boyfriend tried claiming PIP for his ADHD but was turned down? And saying "I chose not to claim benefits because I'm not a scrounger"... are you saying boyfriend is, at the very least, a wannabe scrounger?