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I know life isn’t fair, but I’m struggling with this

329 replies

Jealoussojealous · 05/03/2025 14:06

I know life isn’t fair, and I know I will be labelled as horribly jealous, but I will admit it first, I am horribly, disgustingly jealous of her life and it physically hurts me to think about it. My ‘friend’ gets almost £1000 a month from benefits, mostly PIP which she is falsely claiming. She uses this money to visit her boyfriend of 4 months in another country. She is now over 3 months pregnant with this man, so she got pregnant almost immediately. She is now getting housed in a matter of weeks, either through the council, or privately renting with lots of contribution from housing benefit. She has never worked a single day in her entire life. I am working self employed 6 days a week, studying my uni degree, and have been with my boyfriend for over two years, yet I barely earn more than her, we live in a tiny studio which we both work full time to afford, and have been ‘trying’ (not really trying, more seeing what happens) for a baby for almost two years with no luck. She will be in her lovely flat paid for mostly by the government, with her lovely little baby, and will never have to ever work, and never has done, while myself and my boyfriend will likely remain childless, in a small flat and working full time jobs for the foreseeable future.

OP posts:
Nmeshed · 06/03/2025 09:15

Please don’t report her. let her go. Her morals clash with your own and she has put you in a position where you might be obligated to report her. But if you do report her you will have to watch her life come crashing down. When the reality of that hits you might end up feeling terrible - that is if you ever had a real friendship with her in the first place. I know I couldn’t even put an enemy through that let alone someone who used to be a friend.

Nmeshed · 06/03/2025 09:19

Jealoussojealous · 05/03/2025 17:33

I’m not really sure why you’re so upset about the spread your legs comment? Is that not what she’s done?
I will not be repeating myself again about why I am pissed off with her situation

It just sounds quite harsh and crude and makes you sound like a mean bitter and nasty person. I hope that’s not who you really are.

ClawedButler · 06/03/2025 13:47

Seriously, OP, this level of bitterness only hurts you.

It's like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.

Focus on yourself, and let other people get on with their lives without your seething resentful judgement.

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LBFseBrom · 06/03/2025 15:05

Jealoussojealous, you really do have to let this go.

You are not doing yourself any good by feeling so resentful and there's nothing you can do about it.

I had hoped that venting on here would have helped you get it out of your system.

Short of grassing up your friend to the Benefits Agency, which I sincerely hope you would not do and would not benefit you, you have to leave it behind.

I hope this thread is a lesson to people not to be quite so open with their friends about their financial situation. What people do not know cannot be resented.

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