What things are “very Mumsnet”

[Kibble29]

Lighthearted of course before anyone says otherwise.

I really enjoy the threads that remind you of things that are quintessentially MN but rarely come up in real life. They always throw up lots of quips that I’ve forgotten about.

Such as:

(24 year old man with 2 children and a mortgage cheats on his wife, wife posts about it)

MN: have you considered that he doesn’t yet have a fully developed frontal lobe and this may contribute to his impulsive behaviour?

Ultra Lube for Center Parcs?

The use of 'batshit' to describe a person or situation seems to range from the mundane to the absolutely insane.

Massive pretend salaries and massive salads. Heaps of veg!

Naice ham and making 7 meals to feed the family from 1 chicken.

Narcissists.

Every other bloke and nearly every MIL is a 'narc'.

This is despite the fact it's estimated that between 1% and 5% of the UK population has a narcissistic personality disorder.

Zoflora.

Read up on the fourth trimester.

He's following the script.

Expecting people to leave the bastard ..
when he works 7-7 in some full on job in the city but doesn't do 50/50 housework childcare when wife is on Mat leave with one baby ..

Ditto expecting him to 'help with night waking in same scenario..

LTB in response to all and any level of relationship woes. "He ate my ham sandwich from the fridge!" MN - LTB.

Avid readers who 'devour' books.

"My man tells me he does not like porn and has never watched it".....
makes me chuckle every time I see it.

'Jackets and crusty bread '
Autumn bits
'I'll start' cue overlong list of random present ideas
Stressing about Christmas food in August

Giving "Unmn" hugs..

The following phrases…

Have you got data to back that up
What’s xxxx’s brother called
14 years of tories/tory bot
that’s a you problem
go & educate yourself
Why are you asking here, go to your GP

All second marriages where he has married the affair partner doomed to failure as he has 'created a vacancy'

DON'T PUT HIM ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE!

Also that every Man who either turns down sex or has any kind of performance issue (whether these issues are over a long term or complete one-offs) must be suffering from the dreaded 'Death Grip' and/or Porn Addiction.

And washing every towel every time you've used it and your bedding every other day, otherwise you're an unspeakably dirty pig.

I think you forgot 'but that's just me'

Or maybe that's just me.

A child predicted 15 9s at gcse

Hating dogs passionately and viciously. Hating cats almost as passionately, especially if they crap in your Delphiniums.

"Have you considered ASD or ADHD?"

Actively hating your spouse and everything he does.

Humble bragging about your 6 figure husband, 2.5 tall, strapping, immaculately behaved kids, and 5 bedroom townhouse in the most MC borough. Especially on a thread where the OP is struggling in some way.

Having a cheesy arse crack and being recommended GP, 101, anti fungal cream, and a possible weeping cyst before soap and a washcloth.

I’d just finished watching Narcos when I first joined MN. I couldn’t believe the number of women who had married and divorced DEA agents. It was very confusing.

Still probably more likely than all of the so-called “narcs” actually being true narcissists to be fair….

Thinking everyone is completely broke and shops at Tesco, any suggestion to the contrary is to be met with 'not being in the real world' or to DFOD.
Obsession with heating and heated airers.

My all time favourite..

ANY SINGLE WOMAN with children who has met a new man being insane/selfish/batshit for even considering another relationship before the kids are at least 18/left home ... and then even if they live in their own homes .. and are not happy with the prospect of a step father still going through with the plan .. think of the kids !!

Double standards…
Flip M/F on most posts and advice will be drastically different

what????

🤣🤣🤣 Yes!!!

Not deeply loving your step kids like they’re your own - you’re an evil bitch who’s ruining their lives. Poor kids!